TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Dear Abby: Mom can't stop Screaming at Kids

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Geez, mom.

I get frustration.

Heck, I even get losing it now and then.

But if this is a daily occurrence, perhaps it's time to seek outside help.

Counseling, tutors, time away.

FNW · Guru

I feel bad for those kids. But I do understand the feeling of frustration.

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

She needs a anger management therapist, STAT. She IS damaging her relationship with her kids, amd possibly her kids as well.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
She needs a anger management therapist, STAT. She IS damaging her relationship with her kids, amd possibly her kids as well.

This x 100.

I wonder if she's a stay at home Mom.

flan

huskerbb · Guru

Not listening annoys me to no end. I hated it on the occasions my kids wouldn't listen, and it drives me bonkers when my nieces and nephews won't listen to their parents or my mom.

However, obviously what she's doing isn't working, anyway. She needs to try something else. I don't think the advice was very helpful. Sure, she probably needs to control her anger--but she really got no solutions for getting her kids to listen better.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

I understand where she is coming from. I was so stressed these past few years due to the job situation and the crap exdh was giving me, I am know at times, DD took the brunt of it. One day she told me to stop yelling. WOW. And then I started my job and had the PM who screamed. I changed my ways PDQ and re established the wonderful relationship I always had with DD. Turned around overnight for both of us, and it makes us both happier. Frustration of raising kids is trying, but if you remain calm the result is so much better for all.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Kids should listen. If I get to the point of yelling, it is because I've already told you 3 damn times and you ignored me. It's amazing how quickly that tune changes once I yell.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Yelling has it's place. Yeah, if you are yelling all the time, then something is not working. I think that you need another approach if you have to yell all the time. I mean, there are times i will run around the house like a banshee barking out orders when we are cleaning the house. THere is stuff that needs done and they live here so everyone is going to pitch in.
However, screaming at your kid over their struggles in school seems very counter productive. And, not everyone is an A student, why can't some people accept that? Sheesh.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Yelling has it's place. Yeah, if you are yelling all the time, then something is not working. I think that you need another approach if you have to yell all the time. I mean, there are times i will run around the house like a banshee barking out orders when we are cleaning the house. THere is stuff that needs done and they live here so everyone is going to pitch in.
However, screaming at your kid over their struggles in school seems very counter productive. And, not everyone is an A student, why can't some people accept that? Sheesh.

Yep. DD11 was agonizing over getting all A's. And I started agonizing with her. And then I remembered that very rarely did I get all A's and I turned out all right.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Yelling has it's place. Yeah, if you are yelling all the time, then something is not working. I think that you need another approach if you have to yell all the time. I mean, there are times i will run around the house like a banshee barking out orders when we are cleaning the house. THere is stuff that needs done and they live here so everyone is going to pitch in.
However, screaming at your kid over their struggles in school seems very counter productive. And, not everyone is an A student, why can't some people accept that? Sheesh.
Yep. DD11 was agonizing over getting all A's. And I started agonizing with her. And then I remembered that very rarely did I get all A's and I turned out all right.

Exactly. biggrin

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Yelling has it's place. Yeah, if you are yelling all the time, then something is not working. I think that you need another approach if you have to yell all the time. I mean, there are times i will run around the house like a banshee barking out orders when we are cleaning the house. THere is stuff that needs done and they live here so everyone is going to pitch in.
However, screaming at your kid over their struggles in school seems very counter productive. And, not everyone is an A student, why can't some people accept that? Sheesh.
Yep. DD11 was agonizing over getting all A's. And I started agonizing with her. And then I remembered that very rarely did I get all A's and I turned out all right.
Exactly.

And BTW - this past semester, she got all A's. LOL!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Yelling has it's place. Yeah, if you are yelling all the time, then something is not working. I think that you need another approach if you have to yell all the time. I mean, there are times i will run around the house like a banshee barking out orders when we are cleaning the house. THere is stuff that needs done and they live here so everyone is going to pitch in.
However, screaming at your kid over their struggles in school seems very counter productive. And, not everyone is an A student, why can't some people accept that? Sheesh.
Yep. DD11 was agonizing over getting all A's. And I started agonizing with her. And then I remembered that very rarely did I get all A's and I turned out all right.
Exactly.
And BTW - this past semester, she got all A's. LOL!

See, that is what the underlying point is! You have to let kids find their own way. They have to OWN who they are. They have to OWN their work and efforts and homework. I take a very standoffish approach. It isn't MY homework. I help on rare occassions. I refuse to keep track of what is due when and what they need to do, blah, blah. Yeah, i did it in Kindergarten and in 1st and 2nd grade. But, after that, it is on them. We coddle and continually prop kids up so that they never feel like it's their own. When they take ownership in it, then they blossom. I tell my kids that i will help you To the Extent that you help yourself. If I care more about whatever it is then they do, then that is a problem.

People seem think education is merely plopping information in front of kids as if they are just some passive sponges. However, education is a 2 way street. You cannot teach someone who will not apply any effort on their part.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I help with homework when she asks for help. Usually, she just wants me to check it if she thinks she might have done something wrong. Like last night, it was a multi level problem, so if you got one part wrong, and you worked off that, you would get the whole thing wrong. I showed her a mistake and she re-did it and fixed it herself.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Yeah, some occassional help is fine. But, I hear parents sitting down every night. I mean, something is wrong if kids can't do their own homework every single night without some parent direction and help.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Yeah, some occassional help is fine. But, I hear parents sitting down every night. I mean, something is wrong if kids can't do their own homework every single night without some parent direction and help.

That reminds me of when I first started working in public libraries. Mothers would come in, asking for books for their HIGH SCHOOL students' research papers. Did they write them as well?

flan

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I can't stand mom's who yell all the time. I used to be one.