DEAR HARRIETTE: My children are my pride and joy. I would do anything for them, and I'm trying to raise them to be the best they can be. Lately, however, I don't seem to have as good of a grip on things. My oldest child is a very good student, brings home straight A's and does what's expected of her. My youngest child isn't so "perfect." He wants to do as he pleases, he is satisfied with B's and C's and it's a miracle if something is done out of the kindness of his heart. I don't mean to compare my kids, but I just don't see where I went wrong with my second child. I constantly have to stay on top of him just for him to behave and bring home decent grades. He is more interested in singing than school, and he doesn't see the need for an education. I feel as if we aren't the closest, and I'd really like to feel connected to both of my children. How do I get him to see that there's more in life than just music? How do I get him to want to achieve more? -- Lost Mother, Los Angeles
DEAR LOST MOTHER: I think you need to adopt another strategy. Talk to your son about his dreams and aspirations. Learn what inspires him. Music doesn't have to be a dead end. Help him figure out how to make money living his dream. While you may be able to actually do only a little to help him, your interest in his pursuits will be invaluable. Every human being has his or her own interests and abilities. Your job as a parent is to guide his steps.
As hard as it may seem, you must also accept that not every person is a straight-A student, and that's OK. Try hard not to compare your children; instead, seek to nurture their qualities and help them figure out how to use them to support their lives.
That's the thing with kids, they are each different.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I don't get all the obsession over getting straight A's. First of all, schools where so many kids are getting A's all the times really have overinflated grading processes. And, parents need to step back. It isn't the Be all and end all of life. Yes, try to do well in school but I think we should be more concerned about developing our child's character and having them grow up to be a good, well rounded person. Part of that is them needing to do their work ,of course. But, the hysteria of some of these parents over school is just bizarre.
"I don't mean to compare my mediocre son to my perfect daughter, but what the hell is wrong with him??"
What a piece if work. I wonder why her son is so unhappy, I would be too.
The person who raises their voice has lost the argument. Screaming at your kids doens't work. So, how about maybe accepting that your other child is his own person?
That was my son who is my second child. He was just geared different then our oldest child. Artistic and not a straight A student and not a athlete like his sister and dad. He struggled till he found his niche and he turned out to be a fine young man with a fine family. My grandmother had 11 kids and said not one was the same.
I can understand her frustration though. She needs to guide him and encourage his strengths and never ask him why he can't be more like his sister/brother. My son was just as smart as my dd and I wouldn't change a thing about him.
I don't like the part of the advise that talks about figuring out a way together to be able to make money from singing. What the mother should do is channel that interest into school and community activities; choir, band, etc.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I don't like the part of the advise that talks about figuring out a way together to be able to make money from singing. What the mother should do is channel that interest into school and community activities; choir, band, etc.
I don't think there is anything wrong with getting private lessons etc and making the most of the talents you have. But you also need to be realistic about it. Knowing it probably won't be enough to live off of, what else can you do to support yourself so that you can continue to indulge your passion for music part time ?
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
