Dear Prudence, My brother-in-law, Joe, has a drinking problem that no one wants to deal with. He often becomes argumentative and belligerent, drives drunk regularly, and has no regard for how anyone else feels. My husband has tried to talk to him, but Joe insists that he can stop, he just doesn’t want to. I’m tired of dealing with his drunken behavior at every family function. He recently got incredibly drunk at my daughter’s birthday party, and my mother-in-law’s response was to tell our other guests to leave. Everyone but my husband and me covers for him. My son has a birthday party coming up, and I’d like to just not invite Joe. We’ve asked him before not to drink at the kids’ parties but he does not listen. Would it be wrong to exclude him from our gatherings? I feel if no one is willing to draw the line with him he’ll never truly see that he has a problem.
—Trashed Party Crasher
Anyone with a habit of getting drunk and ruining children’s birthday parties should not attend any more children’s birthday parties. Your brother-in-law’s other family members have volunteered for the full-time, unpaid job of enabling his drinking problem. It is a job with few perks and terrible hours. Do not invite him. Feel free to make it a blanket policy for all events involving your children as long as you like.
But it’s important to note that though you can’t force your brother-in-law into changing his drinking habits, if you know he is about to drive drunk, take his keys. If that doesn’t work, call the police. It’s only a matter of time before he hurts someone.
She could be held liable if she lets him leave and drive away drunk. If he wouldn't give me his keys or take a ride from someone else I'd call the police. I'm sure husker will tell me how I'M ruining the family but peoples lives are more important than a brothers right to get plastered and drive.
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“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.” ― Julia Child ―
She could be held liable if she lets him leave and drive away drunk. If he wouldn't give me his keys or take a ride from someone else I'd call the police. I'm sure husker will tell me how I'M ruining the family but peoples lives are more important than a brothers right to get plastered and drive.
???? WTF are yiu babbling about? Where have I ever said I would want a badly behaved drunk at a kids party?
but, it's highly doubtful the LW could be held liable, especially if they didn't provide the booze.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
