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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Prudie: Tween Attitude
Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Prudie: Tween Attitude
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Dear Prudence,
When I was young, my parents worked very hard to put their children through college. Now my husband works 70 hours a week as a physician, and I am a part-time nurse. We live in an affluent part of town so our kids can go to the best public schools. My 10-year-old daughter is very intelligent but lazy and unmotivated. She received several F’s on the last report card for not doing her assignments but is not embarrassed at all. When I ask her to do homework or read, she gets angry and stomps off. Her friends have phones and tablets, and my daughter has asked for these items, but I cannot reward laziness. Thus, she is angry. What should I do? Her attitude stinks. I am concerned about her indifference and the effect it will have on her future.

—Concerned Mom

I’m concerned about your daughter too, but not for the same reasons you are. I worry you’re ignoring her emotional needs in the present moment for the good intentions of providing her the brightest possible future. I don’t know from your letter if she has a learning disability, if she’s having trouble seeing and needs glasses, if she’s having trouble with a particular teacher, or what else might be going on with her, but she’s clearly struggling. You say she’s bright, but remember that she is 10 years old and doesn’t have the best emotional tools when it comes to asking for help. Consider the possibility that she is not failing her classes to irritate you, but because she is overwhelmed. Your goal should be to find out what it is that she needs and support her, not berate her into compliance. Ask her questions before punishing her. Offer her the opportunity to share what’s going on, rather than make her feel you’re someone she has to hide things from.

 

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/01/dear_prudence_my_lazy_10_year_old_daughter_is_getting_bad_grades.html



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Maybe dad should be home once in awhile and pay attention to his daughter?



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Yeah, definitely some neglect going on here. Being married to a work-aholic, I sometimes need to corral DH in and remind him that children need a father to be present, not just upstairs with a bluetooth attached to his ear.

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lilyofcourse


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Or maybe that butt needs a little warming up.

Sorry, but a bad attitude gets shut down real quick around here.

Yes, do the check list, eyes, ears, general health.

But like I have said time and time again, we work so hard trying to give our kids what we didnt, we forget to give them what we did have.

Attention, boundaries, responsibility.



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huskerbb


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lilyofcourse wrote:

Or maybe that butt needs a little warming up.

Sorry, but a bad attitude gets shut down real quick around here.

Yes, do the check list, eyes, ears, general health.

But like I have said time and time again, we work so hard trying to give our kids what we didnt, we forget to give them what we did have.

Attention, boundaries, responsibility.

 This.  Sometimes the kid is just lazy and unmotivated.  

I told my kids that if bad grades were a way of getting some attention, they were going to get attention, alright, but they may not like it.



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We don't tolerate tween attitude in our house either.

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