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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Harriette: Daughter Doesn't want Widowed Mom to Date
huskerbb


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RE: Dear Harriette: Daughter Doesn't want Widowed Mom to Date
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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
chef wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:

There are good counselors and bad counselors. But a bad counselor during formative years can have lasting repercussions. After my sister died, my DH and my mother had a horrendous time adjusting and the first 2 counselors that DN went to made it WORSE. They decided to validate a teenager's feelings of misguided blame about her mother's death.

 That's horrible :(

 When we put DS in counseling right after he was diagnosed the counselor was horrible.  He couldn't keep things straight, he called DS the wrong name multiple times, and generally just upset him.  Counseling isn't supposed to make you MORE upset.  We finally got to the point that we called the head of the office and complained.  She started seeing my son from then on out and there was no issue.  I don't know when the therapist left but shortly after that he was gone.

My sister went to a counselor to deal with some issues.  She ended up sleeping with him.  Part of that was my sister and her problems.  But the bulk of it was the therapist.  That should never happen.

There ARE bad therapists out there.  Just like there are bad people out there in every profession.

 So--two out of three are bad then.



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Cheerios4606


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Lawyerlady wrote:
chef wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:

There are good counselors and bad counselors. But a bad counselor during formative years can have lasting repercussions. After my sister died, my DH and my mother had a horrendous time adjusting and the first 2 counselors that DN went to made it WORSE. They decided to validate a teenager's feelings of misguided blame about her mother's death.

 That's horrible :(

Luckily, they finally found a good one.  Unfortunately, he retired shortly thereafter.  He continued to see DN for a while - he only kept 2 patients while in retirement and she was one of them.

The problem with therapists is that there are a lot of them that are not worth a damn. 

 Very true. Not EVERYONE graduates college with stellar grades.



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Nobody Just Nobody


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And it's not ONLY about them being good or bad. Sometimes you have to search for just the right therapist. Not every therapist, even the good ones, are a one size fits all.

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huskerbb


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Just solve your own dang problems.

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Mellow Momma


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huskerbb wrote:

I had a buddy on the verge of blowing up his life and marriage. I even recommended he see someone and get on some meds.

The "counselor" he saw told him that he was right, there was nothing wrong with him, blah, blah, blah.

His destructive behaviors continued. He lost his job. He lost his marriage. He damaged relationships with family and friends.

 Usually when you hear stories like this, the person in therapy has not been completely honest with the therapist. In that case, it is doomed to fail and it isn't the therapist's fault. It takes 2 for it to be a successful relationship. 



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Mellow Momma


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When my friend's husband died, the therapist was actually making her face the facts so she could deal with it and move on. My friend didn't want to deal with it (it hurt too much) and so she quit going and blamed the therapist for making her cry. That wasn't the therapist's fault, my friend needed to face the music. She just wasn't ready to.

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huskerbb


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Mellow Momma wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

I had a buddy on the verge of blowing up his life and marriage. I even recommended he see someone and get on some meds.

The "counselor" he saw told him that he was right, there was nothing wrong with him, blah, blah, blah.

His destructive behaviors continued. He lost his job. He lost his marriage. He damaged relationships with family and friends.

 Usually when you hear stories like this, the person in therapy has not been completely honest with the therapist. In that case, it is doomed to fail and it isn't the therapist's fault. It takes 2 for it to be a successful relationship. 

Oh his wife was honest about the situation.   



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Tangerine


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I've had two bad therapists, one decent therapist, and my current therapist who is really great.

What she does is help me work through difficult situations and reevaluate the way I look at events in my life.

She has been very helpful to me. I only see her about once a year now for a "tune up".



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huskerbb


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That's what friends are for.

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Nobody Just Nobody


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What if you don't have any friends?

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