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Post Info TOPIC: How to address formal invitations.


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How to address formal invitations.
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Married Couple

In this case, it is proper to use Mr. and Mrs. Dean Wooley. Spell out the husband’s first name. If you decide to include the husband's middle name, it should be spelled out, not abbreviated as an initial.

 

Single Female

In the case of a single female guest, it is proper to use Ms. if she is over age 16 or 18. If she is younger, than Miss is the acceptable choice.

 

Hyphenated Last Name

In the case of a wife who has chosen to hyphenate her last name, then she should be addressed using Ms. (Mrs. is also acceptable) + her first name + maiden name + married name: Mr. David Crosby and Ms. Lynn Carter-Crosby.

 

Unmarried Couple Living Together

The word "and" was once used to represent a marriage, a union. This rule no longer applies. In the case of a couple who is living together, address the male first, followed by the female: Mr. Luke Davis and Ms. Mary Carter.

 

Divorced Female Who Kept Her Married Name

After a divorce, a woman might keep her married name. In this instance, it is okay to use Mrs. or Ms. to address the guest and use her first name (spelled out). It is often best to find out what she prefers to go by.

 

Same Sex Couple

In this case, it is totally acceptable to put either guest first. If you can’t decide, address them in alphabetical order.

 

Widow

Traditionally, a widow retains her husband's name until she remarries. Some widows prefer to use their own first name as well. In this case, it is best to ask what she prefers. Mrs. John Dunlop or Mrs. Jane Dunlop would be acceptable.

 

Divorced Female Who Uses Her Maiden Name

After a divorce, a woman often stops using her husband's last name. Addressing her by either Ms. or Mrs. is acceptable.

 

Married Couple, Both Doctors

In the case of married doctors and the wife has taken her husband's last name, it is proper to use: The Doctors. Another acceptable option: Drs. Barbara and John Kline.

 

Wife is a Doctor

If her husband is not a "doctor," address invitations to Dr. Linda Smith and Mr. Mark Smith. Her name comes first because her professional title "outranks" his social title.

 

Married Doctors With Different Last Names

If both guests are doctors, but she has chosen to keep her last name, it is appropriate to address her first and with both full names: Doctor Maura Lydel and Doctor John Morris.

 

Wife is a Commissioned Officer

If her husband is not a "Captain," address invitations to Captain Sara Trace and Mr. Jake Trace. Her name comes first because her professional title "outranks" his social title.

 

Husband is a Retired Commissioned Officer

In this case, it is important to recognize the husband's position or ranking: Colonel and Mrs. Kurt Shaw.

 

Husband is a Non-Commissioned Officer or Enlisted Man

 

Husband is a Judge

In this case it is appropriate to recognize a title, such as a judge: The Honorable Judd Walter and Mrs. Walter.

 

Wife is the Judge

If her husband is not a judge, address invitations to the Honorable Ann Lewis and Mr. John Lewis. Her name comes first because her professional title "outranks" his social title.

 

 



-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Wednesday 27th of January 2016 02:41:53 PM

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I've been doing it right!

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I didn't get a Queen Trudy piece of mail, FNW! Hmph!

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Royalty was not on the list!

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Married Couple

In this case, it is proper to use Mr. and Mrs. Dean Wooley. Spell out the husband’s first name. If you decide to include the husband's middle name, it should be spelled out, not abbreviated as an initial.


That wouldn't fly here.

A woman keeps her own name. She doesn't become an extension of her husband.



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I a perfectly happy being an extension. But DH has some friends' whose wives kept their name. For the sake of brevity, I usually address it, "The Smith-Jones Family", with Smith being the wife's name.

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I am going to be addressing 100 formal invitations in about a week. I needed to brush up on the etiquette.

I've been doing right. The only change to the list is the same sex couple.

The only thing I can't find is how to address to a family.

Do you do

Mr. David Smith and family



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My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

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FNW wrote:

I a perfectly happy being an extension. But DH has some friends' whose wives kept their name. For the sake of brevity, I usually address it, "The Smith-Jones Family", with Smith being the wife's name.


 It didn't bother me either. Was proud to take his name. I wasn't an extention. I was his wife.



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lilyofcourse wrote:

I am going to be addressing 100 formal invitations in about a week. I needed to brush up on the etiquette.

I've been doing right. The only change to the list is the same sex couple.

The only thing I can't find is how to address to a family.

Do you do

Mr. David Smith and family


 That's what I usually do.  And if there's a wife, Mr. & Mrs. David Smith & Family. 



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That would work.

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And I went so far as to have my law school diploma re-issued in my married name, so it would match up with my state supreme court certificate.

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Yeah. I don't understand why people have a problem with taking a husband's name.

Unless it was a very good reason.

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It's funny, because DH's ex-wife went so far as to legally change her name BACK to her maiden name years after she and DH were married, while they were married and together. It was very hurtful to DH. So when he met me and decided he wanted to marry me, he worried that I would not want to take his name because of the similarities between his last name and my first. No way in heck I was keeping my maiden name.

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FNW wrote:

I a perfectly happy being an extension. But DH has some friends' whose wives kept their name. For the sake of brevity, I usually address it, "The Smith-Jones Family", with Smith being the wife's name.


 But, But then you are implying inviting the entire family!  Boy do I see a Dear Prudence letter in your future.



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FNW wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

I am going to be addressing 100 formal invitations in about a week. I needed to brush up on the etiquette.

I've been doing right. The only change to the list is the same sex couple.

The only thing I can't find is how to address to a family.

Do you do

Mr. David Smith and family


 That's what I usually do.  And if there's a wife, Mr. & Mrs. David Smith & Family. 


 Or the "David Smith Family



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FNW wrote:

It's funny, because DH's ex-wife went so far as to legally change her name BACK to her maiden name years after she and DH were married, while they were married and together. It was very hurtful to DH. So when he met me and decided he wanted to marry me, he worried that I would not want to take his name because of the similarities between his last name and my first. No way in heck I was keeping my maiden name.


 So your name is Jackie Jackson?



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My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

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Nah...

Silkie Sukie. ..

Hehehe

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lilyofcourse wrote:

Nah...

Silkie Sukie. ..

Hehehe


 



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It's pretty surprised that the OP didn't cover how to address married couples where the wife has kept her birth name. Every invitation we have ever received has screwed it up in one way or another.

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weltschmerz wrote:

Married Couple

In this case, it is proper to use Mr. and Mrs. Dean Wooley. Spell out the husband’s first name. If you decide to include the husband's middle name, it should be spelled out, not abbreviated as an initial.


That wouldn't fly here.

A woman keeps her own name. She doesn't become an extension of her husband.


 It's HER choice. I don't judge...

flan



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Mellow Momma wrote:

It's pretty surprised that the OP didn't cover how to address married couples where the wife has kept her birth name. Every invitation we have ever received has screwed it up in one way or another.


 I think it kind of did.

Under the Unmarried Couple Living Together. 

I mean yeah you're married, but wouldn't it be the same protocol? 



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No. Everything I have found says it should be all on one line, alphabetically by last name.

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My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

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It would still be on one line.

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lilyofcourse wrote:

It would still be on one line.


 But the above states to put the man first. That isn't necessarily the case. It's alphabetical. 



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My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

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Well, unless she has a higher professional title, etiquette says the male is always first.



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lilyofcourse wrote:

Yeah. I don't understand why people have a problem with taking a husband's name.

Unless it was a very good reason.


I do have a reason. I have my own perfectly good name.

Why should I take his name?



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You know, I'm not got to help you turn this into a fight.

If that's how YOU feel, fine.



-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Wednesday 27th of January 2016 10:50:40 PM

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lilyofcourse wrote:

No. A good reason is because you have an established career or kids from a former relationship and you want to keep that the same.

Not because your stubborn and think you'll "lose" your identity or some silly feminist reason.


Why don't you ask a man to take his wife's name, then talk to me about stubborn? 

I already have a name. You don't slap a "Mrs." in front of HIS name with a label maker and voila! There's my new identity.

Besides, it's not about being stubborn. Where I live, the name a woman is born with stays with her the rest of her life.

That's her legal name. No matter how many times she gets married.



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I thought twice about that post and deleted it.

I'm not even going to respond.

Not going to fight.

If you feel that way, fine.

I dont. And that's fine too.

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If you're comfortable being Mrs. Man, more power to you.


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lilyofcourse wrote:

Well, unless she has a higher professional title, etiquette says the male is always first.


 The Emily Post article I read said that is not the case - for the third time. It's alphabetical.  



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Oh... And Martha Stewart and Hallmark both say the wife's name goes first and is joined by and, then husband's name. 



-- Edited by Mellow Momma on Wednesday 27th of January 2016 11:10:18 PM

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My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

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Mellow Momma wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

Well, unless she has a higher professional title, etiquette says the male is always first.


 The Emily Post article I read said that is not the case - for the third time. It's alphabetical.  


 Well, I will try to remember if it comes up.

I know that's what it says for same sex couple.



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