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Post Info TOPIC: Dad had plastic surgery. Should he tell?
Lawyerlady


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Dad had plastic surgery. Should he tell?
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DEAR ABBY: I'm a male in my early 50s. As a shy 21-year-old, I had minor surgery to straighten a small (but at the time, to me, ginormous) hump on my nose. I didn't tell many people and it boosted my confidence, and although I can't say I regret it, looking back I don't think it was really needed. I met my wife a few years later and didn't think it was important enough to mention, which doesn't bother me.

What does bother me is my daughter, 23 and happily married, is complaining about the small hump on her nose and seriously contemplating surgery to fix it. She says she's the only one in the family with such a nose. Her husband and my wife, neither one of whom are fans of minor cosmetic surgery, are urging her to not do it. I have kept my mouth shut so far.

I hate bringing something up I've kept from my wife all these years, yet I have this nagging feeling I'm betraying my daughter by not telling her she has the nose I was born with. I also worry that she'll find out and feel betrayed if I say nothing. Am I obligated to tell her? Am I a jerk if I don't? Does she have a right to know about her father's true nose? -- INDECISIVE DAD IN THE USA

DEAR INDECISIVE: You are behaving as though a rhinoplasty is something to be ashamed of. It's not! Speak up and tell your wife your daughter inherited your nose and that fixing yours gave you self-confidence. Then be honest with your daughter. She's an adult. What she chooses to do with the nose on her face should be her decision and no one else's because no one else will be wearing it.



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Nobody Just Nobody


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He just needs to spill it. The bump thing is minor surgery. If she wants it done no biggie.

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just Czech


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It's not that big a deal, just tell them.
Why do people make mountains out of mole hills?

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She is an adult.

Tell her.

And in all those years, it never came up?

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karl271


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What difference does it make. So she has the nose he was born with; obviously she does not like it and wants to change it (just like good old dad did). But why go into long conversations about dad having it done, etc. etc. Nothing to do with the present situation.

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Scooby


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Why can't he just encourage her to have the surgery if she really wants to without telling her he had the same?

Just say, "If it'll make you feel better about yourself, go for it." That's all that's needed. That's what HE did.

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Nobody Just Nobody


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I really don't see the big deal here. He should have fessed up.

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