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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Abby: Buck Naked in front of Children
Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Abby: Buck Naked in front of Children
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DEAR ABBY: I belong to a gym that is wonderful. It has great facilities and extensive services included in the fee that encourage lots of family activities. Among the facilities are family changing rooms, which are rarely used. Because of this, I am reduced to a Monday-to-Friday schedule because on weekends many fathers bring their little girls into the male changing room (infants to 4 years of age). Today I gave it a shot and went to the gym only to encounter a dad and daughter in the male changing room, buck naked. Is this the new normal, Abby? -- NOT A DAD IN BALTIMORE

DEAR NOT A DAD: Whether it's the new normal is beside the point. If you prefer not to encounter a child of the opposite sex in the men's changing room, you should discuss this with the manager of the gym or change at home.

 

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/2/14/newlyweds-who-took-things-slow-love



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Most places I have seen have an age limit of 7. When using the locker rooms at the club, we went at a time when patronage was few, and it wasn't ever an issue.

That said, it's a fine line between allowing your child to go in the changing room unaccompanied, and exposing her to the opposite sex. Personally, at age 7, I stay away from such places if my DH is not with us. And for good reason, apparently. Recently, a man was arrested in the local community pool for assault on a boy in the showers of the changing room. A man whom I would see frequently in the pool area. A man who made my skin crawl.

This was a HUGE motivating factor in deciding to get our own pool.



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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I really don't understand the need to prance around naked in a changing room. I mean it takes 2 sec to change your clothes. And, you don't have to face the world with your junk. Turn around.

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Even when I had the boys change in the room at the club, I held a towel up to cover them. I changed in a way where my privates were covered. At the community gym, we used a bathroom stall. No need to expose ourselves or them to others.


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

I really don't understand the need to prance around naked in a changing room. I mean it takes 2 sec to change your clothes. And, you don't have to face the world with your junk. Turn around.

 Really?  People can't in be naked in a locker room.  Children should not be in the gym.  Ours has a kid room - kids must be dropped at the front, they are not allowed into the gym or locker rooms.  Doubtful the kid is paying a membership fee while this person is, so they should be able to change in comfort.



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Yeah, why is a 4 year old girl in the mens locker room (or a 4 year old boy in the womens) when there are family change rooms available? this is not a 'change at home if you're uncomfortable with children' scenario. This is a 'get management to get the kids out' scenario. This is why there are family change rooms.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Well, you can be naked. I didn't say that. But, I played a lot of sports and been in locker rooms. I don't feel the need to walk about naked in there. Yes, i will change, dry off or whatever, but i still have a sense of modesty.
But yes, if you are going to take a kid in there, there are naked people. It's not the end of the world.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Tignanello wrote:

Yeah, why is a 4 year old girl in the mens locker room (or a 4 year old boy in the womens) when there are family change rooms available? this is not a 'change at home if you're uncomfortable with children' scenario. This is a 'get management to get the kids out' scenario. This is why there are family change rooms.

Yes, use the family changing room. 



-- Edited by Lady Gaga Snerd on Sunday 14th of February 2016 10:21:53 AM

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Tignanello wrote:

Yeah, why is a 4 year old girl in the mens locker room (or a 4 year old boy in the womens) when there are family change rooms available? this is not a 'change at home if you're uncomfortable with children' scenario. This is a 'get management to get the kids out' scenario. This is why there are family change rooms.

 This.

I've never run into this that I can recall. But my feeling is, if you don't care that your kid sees me naked, why should I?



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When I used to go to the gym, I changed at home. If using the pool I changed in a stall. I would never have DD change if not in a stall.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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I mean if there are no other options, sometimes dads have to take daughters into mens' rooms. And, that's life. He has other options for his daughter but chooses not to use them so that is on him.

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I think we get far too worked up about nudity in this country. Everyone has a butt. Half of us have boobs and a vagina. The other half have a penis. Big freaking whoop de doo. The human body isn't something to be ashamed of and it isn't going to scar your child for life to see a naked person of the opposite sex. It just isn't something we ever worried about. And we went to the pool and the gym with the kids all the time and showered and changed. The world continued to turn and no one was traumatized.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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That's a good point too. Everyone has the same bits.

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I try to teach my boys modesty and privacy, but it seems to fly out the window when I'm showering or changing, and they want to tell me something. And no, I don't lock the bathroom doors. For one thing, mine are french doors with no locks. And I think we should all be able to get into the room JIC someone slips/falls and injures themselves.

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

That's a good point too. Everyone has the same bits.

 And kids need to learn that while everyone has the same bits, we are all different. So making fun of someone's body isn't ok. 



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Who is making fun?

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ed11563


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Japan (I understand) had Community bathing, an entire family in one pool-size tub, in a room with several other similar tubs being used by other families.

All naked.

 

No one seems to be traumatized by this.

 



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Well, going to the beach is traumatizing. Who wants to see all those lardos in Speedos. Gross!

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ed11563 wrote:

Japan (I understand) had Community bathing, an entire family in one pool-size tub, in a room with several other similar tubs being used by other families.

All naked.

 

No one seems to be traumatized by this.

 

 Yes, that is common in that culture.

I visited the naked baths when I was there.  They give you this little hand towel to cover your nether regions I suppose.  And a stool to sit on and use soap on yourself before entering the hot springs.  When I went, there were two other women already in the water.  They left and I had the whole bath to myself.  It was high on a cliff with a wonderful view of Mt. Ishizuchi on the island of Shikoku.  I stood up to take a photo of the gorgeous view, and noticed a ferry going by filled with passengers.  I sat back down real quick.  LOL



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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Who is making fun?

 No one. But it's one of those things that come up with kids. Look at his funny nose, look at her funny butt. Whatever. Its a maturity issue. 



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lilyofcourse


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I don't see why modesty is considered bad now.



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I don't think modesty is bad. I also don't think the human body is bad either. It isn't something to be ashamed of or worried that your child will see. What exactly is the effect of your 5 year old daughter seeing a man naked? Nothing. It's actually healthy. Don't want anyone to see her naked? Then change in private - a stall, or hold up a towel. But no pearl clutching if she gets a glimpse of a naked man in a locker room either.

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lilyofcourse


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I disagree.

I didn't want my 5 yr old to see a naked man.



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So let's change the scenario.

Mom's house, her live in walks naked from the bedroom to the kitchen, gets a drink, goes back to bedroom.

5 yr old is watching cartoons on the couch.





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Lady Gaga Snerd


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lilyofcourse wrote:

So let's change the scenario.

Mom's house, her live in walks naked from the bedroom to the kitchen, gets a drink, goes back to bedroom.

5 yr old is watching cartoons on the couch.



 I think there is incidental nudity and indecent nudity.  Two different things.  If i am in the bathroom or my bedroom getting changed or something and one of my kids sees me, that is incidental nudity.  Or, they walk into to the bathroom as a kid or whatever.  No big deal.  That is incidental.  I dont' lock bathroom doors .  I dont' see the need too in my own house.  So, if they see me, then fine.  But, parading through the living room is another thing in my opinion.



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lilyofcourse


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Why can't these locker rooms have a waiting area?

A place at the entrance/exit for kids to sit.

No nudity passed a certain point.

And what about athletes foot?

That's not uncommon in locker rooms. And little kids like to take their shoes off.


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

So let's change the scenario.

Mom's house, her live in walks naked from the bedroom to the kitchen, gets a drink, goes back to bedroom.

5 yr old is watching cartoons on the couch.



 I think there is incidental nudity and indecent nudity.  Two different things.  If i am in the bathroom or my bedroom getting changed or something and one of my kids sees me, that is incidental nudity.  Or, they walk into to the bathroom as a kid or whatever.  No big deal.  That is incidental.  I dont' lock bathroom doors .  I dont' see the need too in my own house.  So, if they see me, then fine.  But, parading through the living room is another thing in my opinion.

 You're talking about your kids seeing you.

But a neighbor, in their back yard behind a fence needed to cover up.

 



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lilyofcourse


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And if a 5 yr old seeing a naked man is no big deal and healthy for them, why the indecency laws?

That flasher is just helping, right?



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And the OP is a guy who is avoiding the gym because of other people's kids in the locker room.

I don't know why those single dad's are going to the gym on their weekends with the kids.

Go to the park and play with your kid.

That'd be better for both the kids and the dads.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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lilyofcourse wrote:

And if a 5 yr old seeing a naked man is no big deal and healthy for them, why the indecency laws?

That flasher is just helping, right?

 Because i just explained context to you.  I expect you can understand the difference.



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lilyofcourse wrote:

And the OP is a guy who is avoiding the gym because of other people's kids in the locker room.

I don't know why those single dad's are going to the gym on their weekends with the kids.

Go to the park and play with your kid.

That'd be better for both the kids and the dads.

The gym can be used in any weather.  Also, the gym is less likely to have uncontrolled dogs and/or rowdy teenagers running around. 



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lilyofcourse


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

And if a 5 yr old seeing a naked man is no big deal and healthy for them, why the indecency laws?

That flasher is just helping, right?

 Because i just explained context to you.  I expect you can understand the difference.

 And I'm saying, that a naked man, is a naked man.

If it'll get you a sex offenders status in the park, I should in the locker room.

 



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lilyofcourse


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And if it's ok for a 5 yr old girl to be in the men's locker room with naked men.

Then it's ok for a transsexuals man to be in the bathroom with her too, right?

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ed11563 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

And the OP is a guy who is avoiding the gym because of other people's kids in the locker room.

I don't know why those single dad's are going to the gym on their weekends with the kids.

Go to the park and play with your kid.

That'd be better for both the kids and the dads.

The gym can be used in any weather.  Also, the gym is less likely to have uncontrolled dogs and/or rowdy teenagers running around. 

 Do you have any idea how many indoor parks there are now?

From skating to rock climbing.

Be with your kid. Engage with your kid. Them sitting in a corner while you get your sweat on, is not the same thing.



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I have a friend who is fitness-obsessed. On weekends she has her boys she takes them to the gym where they have a kids' gym, separate from hers. She brags about how great it is, spending the ENTIRE DAY working out and how good it is for her boys to be able to rock climb, swim, etc., so she can get her 8 hour workouts in. I think, "why bother having the kids?" if she's not going to see them.

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lilyofcourse wrote:

I don't see why modesty is considered bad now.

 There are different interpretations of modesty. I would consider myself on the modest side, but I don't hesitate to change in a locker room. That's exactly what a locker room is for. I'm not going to strip down in the lobby, nor am I going to try to cover myself up with a towel while changing my clothes. 



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FNW wrote:

I have a friend who is fitness-obsessed. On weekends she has her boys she takes them to the gym where they have a kids' gym, separate from hers. She brags about how great it is, spending the ENTIRE DAY working out and how good it is for her boys to be able to rock climb, swim, etc., so she can get her 8 hour workouts in. I think, "why bother having the kids?" if she's not going to see them.

 8 hour workout?!? I barely make it though 30 minutes. Where does she find the time for that??



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I think she does her chores, etc., when her ex has the kids, so she spends all her visitation working out with them babysat in the next room.

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Mellow Momma wrote:

I think we get far too worked up about nudity in this country. Everyone has a butt. Half of us have boobs and a vagina. The other half have a penis. Big freaking whoop de doo. The human body isn't something to be ashamed of and it isn't going to scar your child for life to see a naked person of the opposite sex. It just isn't something we ever worried about. And we went to the pool and the gym with the kids all the time and showered and changed. The world continued to turn and no one was traumatized.

This.

Many countries have co-ed bath-houses. Everyone is nude, and the kids aren't traumatized.

Here, everyone goes into hysterics over a wardrobe malfunction.



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These conversations just bemuse the average European.

Context matters and to say it doesn't is just obtuse.

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Who is making fun?

Does "lardos in Speedos" ring a bell?



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My gym does not allow any opposite sex kids (even babies) into the adult changing rooms. There are family changing rooms that are private they can use.

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Why not have coed locker rooms?

There are adult women who don't want adult men in the bathroom with them, but a 5 yr old in a locker room is fine.

We have talked about Transgender men dressing as women and using women's bathrooms and locker rooms.

Thats not acceptable to the majority.

But a naked man in a mens locker room with a 5 yr old is fine. Good for her even.



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And let's not forget, the woman in her own backyard needed to cover up.



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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weltschmerz wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Who is making fun?

Does "lardos in Speedos" ring a bell?

 Oh i forgot.  You are Mother Theresa and too prim and proper to chuckle.  Sure.



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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lilyofcourse wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

And if a 5 yr old seeing a naked man is no big deal and healthy for them, why the indecency laws?

That flasher is just helping, right?

 Because i just explained context to you.  I expect you can understand the difference.

 And I'm saying, that a naked man, is a naked man.

If it'll get you a sex offenders status in the park, I should in the locker room.

 

 No its not the same thing.  Context.  Duh.



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lilyofcourse


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So you're good with the cross dresser in the women's bathroom?



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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

And if a 5 yr old seeing a naked man is no big deal and healthy for them, why the indecency laws?

That flasher is just helping, right?

 Because i just explained context to you.  I expect you can understand the difference.

 And I'm saying, that a naked man, is a naked man.

If it'll get you a sex offenders status in the park, I should in the locker room.

 

 No its not the same thing.  Context.  Duh.

 BS.  The ONLY difference is that one is politically correct BS. 



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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Who is making fun?

Does "lardos in Speedos" ring a bell?

 Oh i forgot.  You are Mother Theresa and too prim and proper to chuckle.  Sure.

You can't say nobody is making fun, when you called people lardos.

"Lardos"  IS making fun of people.



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weltschmerz wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Who is making fun?

Does "lardos in Speedos" ring a bell?

 Oh i forgot.  You are Mother Theresa and too prim and proper to chuckle.  Sure.

You can't say nobody is making fun, when you called people lardos.

"Lardos"  IS making fun of people.

 Does it apply to you? If not, then why are you offended?

And since you have this supposed degree in psychology, why do you engage in the act of name calling and what basically boils down to board stalking?

Your friend does it too.

Seems a good, long look in the mirror could do you some good.



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