DEAR ABBY: A friend and I had a falling-out over a manners thing. When three people eat out together and everyone orders their own dessert, is it rude to not allow someone to take a bite of yours?
This friend wanted to taste another one's dessert and the guy said no. The friend then claimed the refuser was rude because he didn't want to share. Was the person wrong to have declined? -- JUST ONE BITE
DEAR JUST ONE: Whether to share one's food is a matter of personal preference. No rule of etiquette demands that someone do so just because it has been requested, and it wasn't rude to refuse.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
So LW knows now that her friend is a dessert sharer. Next time, don't order dessert. Or don't go out to eat with her/him.
Personally, I teach my boys to share. But that's the way I was raised. I also raise them not to ask for a bite off someone else's plate, too.
When the boys were 2 or 3, if I took a bite off their plates (because I knew they weren't going to finish it) they cried and got upset. This scenario reminds me of those toddler days.
I don't mind sharing at all. If you want a bite of mine help yourself but I do understand that there are others who are uncomfortable with it. Years ago we went out to lunch with company reps. They decided we should each order a different dessert all take a bite & pass them. My one coworker is a total germaphobe I thought she was going to die. I did let her take a bite of mine before I did so she at least got to taste two untasted desserts. While I was ok with it in retrospect it wasn't the most professional idea, but they were buying.
If it isn't decided before hand to share, don't assume you will.
We will share desserts. Most of the time desserts are too big for one or even two.
But it isn't rude to refuse to share.
It's rude to ask for someone else's food.
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I am not really into sharing my food with others. Figure they can get their own. Maybe I am a snob (that is rhetorical) but I think it looks a little gauche. LOL
We often share food in my circle. DH and I share food all the time. DS will help himself to your plate (we are working with him on this). DS also offers food to anyone who passes by (we are also working with him on this).
We often share food in my circle. DH and I share food all the time. DS will help himself to your plate (we are working with him on this). DS also offers food to anyone who passes by (we are also working with him on this).
We often share food in my circle. DH and I share food all the time. DS will help himself to your plate (we are working with him on this). DS also offers food to anyone who passes by (we are also working with him on this).
How cute!
One lady took a pretend nibble off the pizza crust he offered her!
Thankfully, so far, we haven't had anyone flip out at us or him for doing that.
We often share food in my circle. DH and I share food all the time. DS will help himself to your plate (we are working with him on this). DS also offers food to anyone who passes by (we are also working with him on this).
How cute!
One lady took a pretend nibble off the pizza crust he offered her!
Thankfully, so far, we haven't had anyone flip out at us or him for doing that.
We often share food in my circle. DH and I share food all the time. DS will help himself to your plate (we are working with him on this). DS also offers food to anyone who passes by (we are also working with him on this).
How cute!
One lady took a pretend nibble off the pizza crust he offered her!
Thankfully, so far, we haven't had anyone flip out at us or him for doing that.
If anyone does that, spork them.
flan
I'd rather spork the evil old biddy that repeatedly shot DS the stink eye when he was an infant. He was sound asleep and not making a peep. She kept looking at him like he was a rotting landfill during the heat of summer from the moment we sat down to the moment she left.
It is a matter of personal preference.Some people do not mind and others do.
Myself, I do not mind sharing.On the rare occasion I do dine out and order a dessert (most times I am too full to order dessert), I do not mind sharing with my fellow diners.Sometimes someone will comment on how delicious my dessert looks, and I ask them, “Would you like to try some?”And most of the time, they answer in the negative. And I get to eat my dessert without any interruption.
I do have a senior friend who likes to try what I am eating.I will ask her if she would like some, and she then helps herself to a bite.Just one bite, and she is satisfied.She loves sweet-sour sauces and foods like I do, so I do not mind her having a taste.
When dining with those I do not know well, I do not mind if they have a bite of my food.It is extremely rare that someone just helps themselves without asking, or without me offering.
Yes, it is polite to ask.Or sometimes, like I typed above, commenting on the dessert may get you an offer to try some.Myself, I am happy with what I have to eat.I do not ask others for a taste of their food.Otherwise, I really don’t dwell on things like this.It’s all small stuff in my world.
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“Instead of wondering WHY this is happening to you, consider why this is happening to YOU." - Dalai Lama XIV
“Make no judgments where you have no compassion.” - Anne McCaffrey
We often share food in my circle. DH and I share food all the time. DS will help himself to your plate (we are working with him on this). DS also offers food to anyone who passes by (we are also working with him on this).
How cute!
One lady took a pretend nibble off the pizza crust he offered her!
Thankfully, so far, we haven't had anyone flip out at us or him for doing that.
If anyone does that, spork them.
flan
I'd rather spork the evil old biddy that repeatedly shot DS the stink eye when he was an infant. He was sound asleep and not making a peep. She kept looking at him like he was a rotting landfill during the heat of summer from the moment we sat down to the moment she left.
She needed to be sporked. Some people just are not happy people.
We often share food in my circle. DH and I share food all the time. DS will help himself to your plate (we are working with him on this). DS also offers food to anyone who passes by (we are also working with him on this).
How cute!
One lady took a pretend nibble off the pizza crust he offered her!
Thankfully, so far, we haven't had anyone flip out at us or him for doing that.
If anyone does that, spork them.
flan
I'd rather spork the evil old biddy that repeatedly shot DS the stink eye when he was an infant. He was sound asleep and not making a peep. She kept looking at him like he was a rotting landfill during the heat of summer from the moment we sat down to the moment she left.
She needed to be sporked. Some people just are not happy people.
Yes, and they seem to take pleasure in ruining things for others!
DH & I share all the time. He just automatically cuts a piece of his lamb or duck or whatever he got and puts it on my plate, and I do the same for him. We want the other to experience what we are experiencing. Now this is when we go to a nice place where the meals are exemplary.
