by Judith, Nicholas and Jacobina Martin

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Miss Manners

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My parents own season tickets for our local team. Several times a year, they are unable to attend and offer their tickets to my husband and me. Sometimes the timing is not good and we politely decline, but often we enthusiastically accept.

For the first time ever, we did not attend a game for which we had tickets. The game occurred during a very hectic week, and we decided at the last minute that we’d prefer to spend a quiet night resting at home.

Unfortunately, friends of my parents noticed that the seats were empty and reported this to my parents, who are now quite hurt.

Was it rude of us not to attend the game? We greatly appreciate my parents’ generosity and fully intended to go when we accepted the tickets. I don’t know that it would serve my parents any better if we turned down all of their offers of tickets because of the very small chance that something might prevent us from attending.

GENTLE READER: Did you get that rest? The tone of your conclusion makes Miss Manners think that another quiet night at home would be a good investment.

Turning down all future ticket offers will not serve them right -- or wrong.

Miss Manners does not suggest that it was rude of you to skip the game. But she does understand why your parents might have appreciated a last-minute effort to notify them and to discuss what might be done. Perhaps there was a friend who would have gladly forfeited a restful night at home.