DEAR ABBY: No matter what I do, I am never satisfied. I have a great wife and two great kids, and yet I always feel like I could have done better with my life. I go to work and no matter how hard I work, I feel like I never get recognition for it. When I go out with friends, we have a great time, but I never feel like I am really part of the group. I feel like the outcast who gets invited just so they won't feel bad.
I don't know why I feel this way. I do suffer from depression and have spoken to a specialist. People often tell me that I spread myself too thin and never relax enough to enjoy my success. But how can I relax when I always feel unsatisfied with my efforts? -- JUST NOT SATISFIED
DEAR NOT SATISFIED: A way to do that would be to start by examining why you are so hard on yourself. Whether it was caused by parents who didn't give you the validation you needed while growing up or a lack of self-esteem, until you understand why you are hurting yourself this way, your problem won't be resolved. You say you have spoken to "a specialist" about your depression. Perhaps it's time for another visit and a chat about what's really bothering you.
Why, does it ALWAYS have to be about the parents not doing enough of something?
A parent can encourage edify until they are exhausted. Provide every opportunity, special moment and dote endlessly on a child and the child still grow up not "having something".
The LW says he deals with depression. Ok. This does sound like part of the disease.
I think a lot of times, people don't feel satisfied because they haven't learned to appreciate what they have.
He most likely needs some kind of medicine to help deal with the symptoms.
But he also needs to learn to stop taking what he has for granted.
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Why, does it ALWAYS have to be about the parents not doing enough of something?
A parent can encourage edify until they are exhausted. Provide every opportunity, special moment and dote endlessly on a child and the child still grow up not "having something".
The LW says he deals with depression. Ok. This does sound like part of the disease.
I think a lot of times, people don't feel satisfied because they haven't learned to appreciate what they have.
He most likely needs some kind of medicine to help deal with the symptoms.
But he also needs to learn to stop taking what he has for granted.
The nature of depression is that it doesn't often make sense because people who suffer from it can have everything and still feel that way. Look at Robin Williams. However , i agree, practice the art of gratitude. Go volunteer to help some disadvantaged people or in a nursing home. You will quickly realize the fleeting nature of life and how everything you enjoy now can be gone in an instant so you better take time to love and appreciate the people in your presence.
