Q. Wrongfully accused: Nearly a year ago my boyfriend and I moved to a new city a few hours away from our hometown. The weekend before we moved, we attended a party thrown by a friend I had known for years but have never been terribly close to. My boyfriend and I do not have Facebook accounts, and we haven’t seen or talked to anyone from that party since, but recently another friend of mine posted a picture of us online, after which I was informed that the party’s host publicly accused my boyfriend of stealing cash from his house. These accusations aren’t true, and he is threatening to get even, which I can only assume is a threat of violence. I tried asking him what brought him to this conclusion, but his only response is that he already talked it over with everyone at the party (except us) and he knows my boyfriend did it. Should we just let this go since he won’t listen to reasoning, or what can we do? He refuses to talk to my boyfriend about it or give any explanation for his reasoning other than that he trusts everyone else at the party more than us. It’s just sad to think that this rumor is going around and we are being threatened because of it and there’s nothing we can do to fix it.
A: I’m honestly not sure what else you can do. You’ve already moved away (great timing), your friend won’t explain why he thinks your boyfriend stole money from him aside from “I’ve been telling everyone he stole money from me”—it doesn’t sound like anyone else at the party saw your boyfriend take the money—and you know the accusations aren’t true. What can you do besides deny them and move on with your lives? Dragging out this fight won’t do you any good. This “friend” sounds like a master in bringing other people down to his level. Stay away from him. If his threats of violence start getting more specific, report them.
__________________
The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
My cheating ex always accused me of cheating on him.
I never did.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
My first ex was a pathological liar and he could spin the tales. One night he ran into an a crazy ex of my lawyer. She was an informant for the DEA. They concocted this story of us how my lawyer was a dealer and I helped him. I knew nothing about this until my lawyer went away for a few weeks to escape the accusations; it had risen to the height of getting the attention of the DEA office. Since neither of us were involved in drugs or any illegal activity we decided to just let it go since once the investigation progressed the accusations would be found to be false. And they were. In the mean time, we were asked by proprietors not to frequent certain restaurants as they were owned by Italians, if you catch my drift. it was during an era where the mob had a large presence in the city we lived.
__________________
Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
When I got myself in all that trouble, I was asked on 2 different occasions, in both Indiana and Illinois, about my ties to the mob.
Seems me and the guy I was with fit some kind of criteria or something.
And I didn't think your post sounded racist at all.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Wow. Not all Italian restaurant owners are mobsters. Just to clarify. That sounded more racist than you probably intended.
These were. It was during a different era. Plus Italian isn't a race but I get your point.
I believe it. All my Italian friends are mob connected. Restaurants, trash, highway and cement work. They all know me when I walk in. Make special meals, etc.
Wow. Not all Italian restaurant owners are mobsters. Just to clarify. That sounded more racist than you probably intended.
These were. It was during a different era. Plus Italian isn't a race but I get your point.
I believe it. All my Italian friends are mob connected. Restaurants, trash, highway and cement work. They all know me when I walk in. Make special meals, etc.
Yes, I have been wrongfully accused of a number of things. Some because of my physical appearance, and others which I prefer to not list here.
I can post something in general (not accusatory, mean or cruel) on a message board and be accused of being a troll, liar, and some choice nasty words no matter what I say. I know about being accused (without a valid reason for it) very well.
But what goes around comes around, so I let it go.
__________________
“Instead of wondering WHY this is happening to you, consider why this is happening to YOU." - Dalai Lama XIV
“Make no judgments where you have no compassion.” - Anne McCaffrey
Years ago I worked with an Italian guy who invited me to a small dinner party at his uncle's house. Cool place, complete with a wine cellar that was below ground in their north 40. Access it by going down a ladder. Anyway, they were connected. Co-worker later married an Italian girl and they were on the Newlywed Game. It was cute. He got along real well with my then husband, so we'd double date a few times. I was careful not to piss him off.
I have been accused of things, too. Some true, some not. I guess it evens itself out.
Well, I have been accused of being an attention grabber, judgemental, and an assortment other adjectives that are normally applied when referring to my spiritual compass, but accused of an actual CRIME of sorts? No. I don't believe so.
Actually, child car seats are about the weight, not the age.
No. That is not the legal standard. It varies widely be state. Some use weight, many do not. Just like the myth that it is some legal requirement that all kids under 12 have to sit in the back seat when that is true in less than 10 states. It's just not true.
in nebraska, it goes by age, and they have to be UNDER age six to be required to have a car seat. My kids were 7 and 8 at the time.
__________________
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Sort of... neighbor called the cops on another neighbors kid a few years back. They thought it was me until the cops told them otherwise. I got lots of dirty looks from them for awhile.
I really didn't care at the time and still don't.
It was six months afterwards before I found about it and by then the kid was serving probation.
__________________
I drink coffee so I don't kill you.
I quilt so I don't kill you.
Do you see a theme?
Faith isn't something that keeps bad things from happening. Faith is what helps us get through bad things when they do happen.
