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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Family Support during Hard Times
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DEAR ABBY: I recently realized I have a fair-weather family. My husband got in trouble with the law and is now in a drug treatment facility. This had been hard on me, but I love him.

His crime was being in possession of illegal drugs that were intended only for himself. His family has turned their backs on us. My family will invite me to family functions, but if I mention him, they walk away. I have been feeling very alone and isolated throughout this entire process.

Today I went for my follow-up OB-GYN appointment and was referred to an oncologist for further testing and treatment. I don't even want to tell my family. I spoke with one close friend who said my parents and siblings have a right to know what is going on, but I feel differently. I think families should support each other through everything. They don't get to pick and choose. What do you think? -- DOING THIS ALONE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR DOING THIS ALONE: I know you are angry with your relatives, but if you think you will be punishing them by keeping your diagnosis to yourself, you won't. I agree with your friend that your family should be told what's going on with you, not because they have a right to know, but because you may at some point need their help.

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/3/6/womans-bad-times-are-made-worse

 



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Frozen Sucks!

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I wonder if this is just the latest issue with the husband and the family is tired of it.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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That could be. Maybe he stole from them and so forth. Who knows? People are supportive in their own ways. She doesn't get to tell them how to support her. They are still inviting her to family functions and so forth but they just don't want to talk about him. And, that is how they are handling it. Doens't mean they don't love her or want the best for her. It would be nice if there was at least one family member she could talk too. But, if not, she might have to find that through a friend or counselor. For now, i would just go to the family functions and be with family. And, try to have some fun and find some peace. And, she needs to work through her resentment towards them. On the other hand, she is still married to him and part of her life, so i would hope that some of her family can understand that as well.

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huskerbb


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Where does the "supportive" line get drawn? The family undoubtedly thinks she is making a huge mistake staying with this guy--maybe they've thought that all along and now is their "I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so" moment.

She seems to feel that "support" means "agreement".

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Actually that does mean support to a lot of people. If you don't rah rah everything then you aren't supportive.

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huskerbb


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Actually that does mean support to a lot of people. If you don't rah rah everything then you aren't supportive.

 Good point.  It would be good if they could and would talk to her about it, though.  

 

But my guess is that they have--a LOT--and she blew them off because they didn't blow smoke up her ass and tell here what she wanted to hear. 



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lilyofcourse


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It's great having a support system.

But that doesn't always means what you think it does.

Sometimes in life, you just have to stand on your own.



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Nobody Just Nobody


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I think we are missing a big chunk of the rest of the story here. Was there signs before? Did the family know? Is this his first brush with the law? Did he show signs of a drug problem before? Has he been in rehab before? How long have they been together? I'd want to know a lot of past information before I could say anything.

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huskerbb


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

I think we are missing a big chunk of the rest of the story here. Was there signs before? Did the family know? Is this his first brush with the law? Did he show signs of a drug problem before? Has he been in rehab before? How long have they been together? I'd want to know a lot of past information before I could say anything.

 Oh sure.  Just like always.  We take a few details and speculate on the rest. 



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Frozen Sucks!

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huskerbb wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

I think we are missing a big chunk of the rest of the story here. Was there signs before? Did the family know? Is this his first brush with the law? Did he show signs of a drug problem before? Has he been in rehab before? How long have they been together? I'd want to know a lot of past information before I could say anything.

 Oh sure.  Just like always.  We take a few details and speculate on the rest. 

 



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Lawyerlady


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He got in trouble with the law and is now in a drug treatment facility. You know what the sounds like to me? That sounds like a guy who is an addict, probably with a history of the issues that come with being an addict, and he's getting help now only because it is court ordered. His wife is in denial and sounds like an enabler and the family is just fed up.

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Cheerios4606


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We reap what we sow. Wife is going to have to live with the downside of being married to a man that got caught with drug issues. A bitter pill to swallow, but she cannot blame family for not wanting a part of it.

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