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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Miss Manners: How Do i get my wife to Wear Necklaces?


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Dear Miss Manners: How Do i get my wife to Wear Necklaces?
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DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the correct way to wear a woman's necklace?

No, I am not a man wanting to wear women's necklaces. I am a husband who buys his wife jewelry that is especially attractive and, to my mind, youthful and appropriate for daily wearing.

But she says necklaces are worn only with dresses. They are not to be worn with shirts, blouses, and definitely not with T-shirts. Since she rarely wears a dress, she thanks me and maybe wears my gifts one time, then they go in her jewelry cabinet, never to see the light of day.

Please tell me I am correct that necklaces can be worn most any time, and not only with a dress!

GENTLE READER: Yes, presuming that you understand the gradations between sporting a diamond choker and a gold chain. But what good does this do you? Your wife does not like to wear necklaces. So why do you keep giving them to her?

Miss Manners is astonished at the number of people who would rather prove a point than please a spouse, and politely excuses herself from being involved.

http://www.uexpress.com/miss-manners/2016/3/6/kids-demanding-gifts-deserve-a-polite

 



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Vette's SS!!

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I love her response. All of it.

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On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

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Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:

I love her response. All of it.


 Yep. 



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LawyerLady

 

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Wake up Dum dum! Not every woman likes or wants jewelry!

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I only wear earrings and my wedding band. I don't wear necklaces and if my husband kept giving them to me I'd tell him to stop.

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I wear one necklace 24/7. Diamond. Don't need anymore.

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I love jewelry, and every piece that DH has given me is dear to me. But I don't feel compelled to wear something every day, except for my wedding rings, of course.

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He gave me beautiful diamond earrings but they are a pain to get on. Then I worry one will pop off.

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Nothing's Impossible

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Exdh gave me a necklace one Christmas. Hated it. Yes it was jewelry, but it was a thoughtless gift. It was something that would only be worn with a formal dress which was not a part of our lifestyle. I had dropped hints about wanting a sapphire bracelet. Instead he bought an ugly emerald necklace. Never wore it.

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I am not a jewelry person. I like inexpensive jewerly so i don't have to worry about losing it.

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I always yell, from Tiffany to Target!

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Yeah, I lost a gold earring at Six Flags. Note to self: Never wear the real stuff to an amusement park.

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Has no one ever heard of "returns and exchanges" ?

If you didn't like the jewelry he gave you, and you're not going to wear it,

return it. Change it into something you DO like.

Or sell it at a pawn shop.

 

Guys generally want to please their partner, but we can be pretty clueless.

 

If you don't like it, fix it.

 

As for the OP, he can get her to wear a necklace if it's make out of steel and closes with a padlock and a chain.

and

 

Spoiler

 

wink

 



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Give Me Grand's!

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I love nice jewelry, but I don't wear it everyday.

The LW uses jewelry as a control mechanism. He wants her to wear it, she doesn't want to wear it.

He must not love her enough to respect her wishes since he made it all about himself and what he wants.

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Mod & Permanent Board Sweetheart

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This guy may be my first husband, LOL.  He would ask me what I wanted and I would point to white gold.  He preferred yellow gold.  Guess what I was given?  It can be said that at least he gave me something nice - yes, he did.  But I'm sure you get my point... He was very well aware of my preference - and proved time and time again that HIS preference was much more important.



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Honeys_Mom wrote:

This guy may be my first husband, LOL.  He would ask me what I wanted and I would point to white gold.  He preferred yellow gold.  Guess what I was given?  It can be said that at least he gave me something nice - yes, he did.  But I'm sure you get my point... He was very well aware of my preference - and proved time and time again that HIS preference was much more important.


Ugh!

 

I picked out a small diamond ring surrounded by diamonds.  White gold.  He mentioned he wanted to enlarge it but I said no.  It fits the size of my hand. 



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I'd like to know why some guys feel the need to force unwanted jewelry on their women. He needs to be happy that she isn't draining his wallet with trips to the jewelry store. He needs to find what would make her heart sing and get that for her.

I don't wear jewelry and it took a bit to get it through DH's thick skull that I really, truly could not care less about jewelry. I don't like diamonds. I don't like bling. I will not wear it. I love deep blue sapphires but looking at them, not wearing them.

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My dog name is Sasha, too!

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This guy is a jerk. She obviously doesn't want to wear necklaces so he just keeps shoving them at her.

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Itty bitty's Grammy

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You buy a gift that the recipient wants, not one you THINK they should want.

flan

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flan327 wrote:

You buy a gift that the recipient wants, not one you THINK they should want.

flan


 And also not the one you would want and know darn well they wouldn't.



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Itty bitty's Grammy

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chef wrote:
flan327 wrote:

You buy a gift that the recipient wants, not one you THINK they should want.

flan


 And also not the one you would want and know darn well they wouldn't.


 It's a stupid power play at this point.

flan



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My dog name is Sasha, too!

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She should just start buying stuff she wants for his birthday & Christmas.

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Meh, maybe, maybe not. My DH knows I prefer yellow gold, but lately has been buying white gold. He acknowledges my preference, but explains that the stone or setting or whatever was not available in yellow gold, and the sales person said mixing metals is "in" right now. So I am wearing my yellow gold wedding ring & engagement ring, with a white gold enhancer. It looks fine.

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On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

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So where is the Dear Abby letter from the wife that says, "Dear Abby, I hate wearing necklaces, they make me feel choked. I have tried to make this clear to my husband but he keeps buying them for me and gets hurt when I won't wear them. How do I make him stop buying them?"

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Mod & Permanent Board Sweetheart

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Lawyerlady wrote:

So where is the Dear Abby letter from the wife that says, "Dear Abby, I hate wearing necklaces, they make me feel choked. I have tried to make this clear to my husband but he keeps buying them for me and gets hurt when I won't wear them. How do I make him stop buying them?"


 This!  biggrin



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My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

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I love jewelry. I would rather have small and real than big and fake.

But I also love the flashy costume stuff too.

This guy is in a rut. And he probably doesn't really have a clue what else to get.

Maybe he likes the way it lays on her chest.

She could take her jewelry and have it melted down and create jewelry she would like better.



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On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

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lilyofcourse wrote:

I love jewelry. I would rather have small and real than big and fake.

But I also love the flashy costume stuff too.

This guy is in a rut. And he probably doesn't really have a clue what else to get.

Maybe he likes the way it lays on her chest.

She could take her jewelry and have it melted down and create jewelry she would like better.


 He should buy her a Pandora bracelet and always have something to get!



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My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

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Yes. I love those.

Sadly, I do not have one yet.

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Regular

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In the past five years I have had two dear men(beaus) One never bought me any jewelry. He knew I loved jewelry. I even cut and pasted ideas for him, all within a modest range of money. No jewelry. He did buy me expensive and practical gifts, a TV and a printer scanner and other things. Very practical and things I use every day.
I would have liked an inexpensive trinket.

The current beau does buy me trinkets. They are as dear to me as expensive jewels.

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On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

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lilyofcourse wrote:

Yes. I love those.

Sadly, I do not have one yet.


Here's a little FYI for you to tell your kids.  Twice a year Pandora does an event.  If you buy $100 (or $125 depending on which time of year) in charms, you get the bracelet free. If they buy 4 of the $25 beads or 3 of the $35 beads, they have you covered for Mother's Day (Bracelet and charm), Birthday and Christmas in one fell swoop. 

 

Next event is March 31st-April 3rd.  



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LawyerLady

 

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My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

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LOL... I'll work that into conversation.


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My dog name is Sasha, too!

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Lawyerlady wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

Yes. I love those.

Sadly, I do not have one yet.


Here's a little FYI for you to tell your kids.  Twice a year Pandora does an event.  If you buy $100 (or $125 depending on which time of year) in charms, you get the bracelet free. If they buy 4 of the $25 beads or 3 of the $35 beads, they have you covered for Mother's Day (Bracelet and charm), Birthday and Christmas in one fell swoop. 

 

Next event is March 31st-April 3rd.  


 Perfect you have 3 kids.  Each buys you a $35 charm.  They all put their names on each one for each holiday!



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Itty bitty's Grammy

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I've worn my Pandora bracelet exactly 2 times.

The charms hang underneath my wrist & you can't see anything.

flan

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On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

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flan327 wrote:

I've worn my Pandora bracelet exactly 2 times.

The charms hang underneath my wrist & you can't see anything.

flan


 I don't have that problem.



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LawyerLady

 

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My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

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Caitlyn got one for her 16th birthday. 1 charm, 1 bead.

She has gotten new charms and beads along the way.

It's getting full.



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Itty bitty's Grammy

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Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:

I've worn my Pandora bracelet exactly 2 times.

The charms hang underneath my wrist & you can't see anything.

flan


 I don't have that problem.


 You probably have more charms.

flan



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Nothing's Impossible

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I bought my dad's wife a Pandora charm for Christmas. Turns out she had that one. Dad told her not to say anything. She called on the 26th and told me she was giving it back. Dad passed the next day and she gave it back to me at the funeral home. I took it back along with the one I had purchased for her birthday and kicked in another $100 bucks and bought myself a beautiful bracelet. She got a $25 Macy's gift card for her birthday.

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Itty bitty's Grammy

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Southern_Belle wrote:

I bought my dad's wife a Pandora charm for Christmas. Turns out she had that one. Dad told her not to say anything. She called on the 26th and told me she was giving it back. Dad passed the next day and she gave it back to me at the funeral home. I took it back along with the one I had purchased for her birthday and kicked in another $100 bucks and bought myself a beautiful bracelet. She got a $25 Macy's gift card for her birthday.


 I'm glad you bought yourself a bracelet!

flan



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On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

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flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:

I've worn my Pandora bracelet exactly 2 times.

The charms hang underneath my wrist & you can't see anything.

flan


 I don't have that problem.


 You probably have more charms.

flan


 And clips to help evenly distribute them.



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