Dear Prudence, My friend, “Bob,” recently killed himself after a long depression. Before he died, he sent me a message saying goodbye and letting me know what a good friend I was. He also shared three final wishes, saying he could be at peace knowing he shared them with someone he trusted to carry them out. Two of his wishes I can likely manage, but the third gives me pause: He asked that I deliver a final message to a former friend of his—a person I don’t know, but whom Bob felt betrayed him when he most needed support. I’m supposed to deliver this message from Bob: “You are dead to me. F--k off.” I want to honor Bob’s wishes, but this seems like an action that will only cause more pain in an already devastating situation. Am I obligated to carry out all of Bob’s wishes?
—Bad Messenger
No. I’m so sorry that Bob put you in this position, but you are under no obligation to send a message of spite and invective to a stranger on his behalf. You are doing your best to honor those of his wishes that do not violate your own moral code, and that is all anyone can do. Do not feel in any way that you are letting him down by refusing to carry on his resentments for him.
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
The message speaks to the mind set of the deceased.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
