Dear Amy: Last year the company I worked for closed with no notice. I struggled to find a job and ended up losing my home. My family and friends turned their backs on me.
Not a single person called to ask if I was OK or offered any help. Not even family. I cried a lot of tears.
These same people were so quick to call in the past for a loan or a favor.
I was always there for them and never turned anyone away. One person was angry because I had to say I couldn’t afford to do things we used to do and she stopped calling.
I now have a new job and am working toward getting back on my feet. I feel like I can’t let go of the anger and bitterness I feel toward these people. What do I say when I run into them? I won’t socialize with them any longer, but I do want to tell them how I feel. — Sad and Struggling
DETROIT FREE PRESS
Carolyn Hax: Dad needs to make own decision on a visit
Dear Sad: You have survived a tough and terrible blow. I’m so happy your fortunes are turning around. When you have been disappointed by others, the best way to respond is to be transparent and honest about your own feelings, while keeping your expectations for a response very realistic.
I suspect that when you say to people, “I felt let down that you didn’t check on me during my toughest time” they will respond, “But you didn’t ask.” This is not a just or kind response, but it is predictable.
