TOTALLY GEEKED!

huskerbb · Guru

RE: Dear Prudie: Friends Dumped Us Because We Don't Want to be Named Legal Guardians

Ohfour · Hooker

I still wouldn't do it. I know me and I would be bitter (I'm talking about friends, not my grandkids). They would be better off without me raising them...

huskerbb · Guru

Wow. No way would I be bitter. They were my friends.

Ohfour · Hooker

huskerbb wrote:
Wow. No way would I be bitter. They were my friends.

I'm too old to take on kids. G is REALLY too old to take on another set of kids...And I have no desire to be a half time single parent.

Tinydancer · Guru

Well husker would do it so should you... biggrin

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Monday 14th of March 2016 02:08:09 PM

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
Well husker would do it so should you...

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Monday 14th of March 2016 02:08:09 PM

No one has has to do anything--and likely O4 doesn't have any friends that would even ask at this point.

However, in the case of the OP, there could be ramifications for not doing so and they really have no room to whine.

Ohfour · Hooker

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Well husker would do it so should you...

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Monday 14th of March 2016 02:08:09 PM
No one has has to do anything--and likely O4 doesn't have any friends that would even ask at this point.
However, in the case of the OP, there could be ramifications for not doing so and they really have no room to whine.

Crazily enough, I have several friends with small kids. Hell, I have some friends that are freakin PREGNANT right now!!!! Of course I think they are crazy. But, hey! Good for them!

huskerbb · Guru

Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Well husker would do it so should you...

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Monday 14th of March 2016 02:08:09 PM
No one has has to do anything--and likely O4 doesn't have any friends that would even ask at this point.
However, in the case of the OP, there could be ramifications for not doing so and they really have no room to whine.

Crazily enough, I have several friends with small kids. Hell, I have some friends that are freakin PREGNANT right now!!!! Of course I think they are crazy. But, hey! Good for them!

Yeah, I wouldn't really want to be "grandpa dad"--but if I had to, I would. My best friend's twins are only 5.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Well husker would do it so should you...

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Monday 14th of March 2016 02:08:09 PM
No one has has to do anything--and likely O4 doesn't have any friends that would even ask at this point.
However, in the case of the OP, there could be ramifications for not doing so and they really have no room to whine.

Crazily enough, I have several friends with small kids. Hell, I have some friends that are freakin PREGNANT right now!!!! Of course I think they are crazy. But, hey! Good for them!
Yeah, I wouldn't really want to be "grandpa dad"--but if I had to, I would. My best friend's twins are only 5.

Hmmm, so do you plan on knocking L off? biggrin

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Husker says he would but only because it isn't likely to happen.

So I'm not going to take him too seriously.

It's empty words.

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Monday 14th of March 2016 02:41:12 PM

huskerbb · Guru

just Czech wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Well husker would do it so should you...

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Monday 14th of March 2016 02:08:09 PM
No one has has to do anything--and likely O4 doesn't have any friends that would even ask at this point.
However, in the case of the OP, there could be ramifications for not doing so and they really have no room to whine.

Crazily enough, I have several friends with small kids. Hell, I have some friends that are freakin PREGNANT right now!!!! Of course I think they are crazy. But, hey! Good for them!
Yeah, I wouldn't really want to be "grandpa dad"--but if I had to, I would. My best friend's twins are only 5.
Hmmm, so do you plan on knocking L off?

Pretty sure at this point it's his SIL that gets them--but due to their religion he's not all that happy about it, so that might change.

Ohfour · Hooker

lilyofcourse wrote:
Husker says he would but only because it isn't likely to happen.

Empty words.

I believe him...He comes from a very close family, and from the little I know of them, I think he would step up...

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
Husker says he would but only because it isn't likely to happen.
So I'm not going to take him too seriously.

It's empty words.

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Monday 14th of March 2016 02:41:12 PM

husker takes his obligations seriously. He always has.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ohfour wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Husker says he would but only because it isn't likely to happen.

Empty words.
I believe him...He comes from a very close family, and from the little I know of them, I think he would step up...

Oh he may.

But he doesn't actually think it would be necessary.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

I'm safe nobody who knows me well would want me to raise their kids.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Husker says he would but only because it isn't likely to happen.

Empty words.
I believe him...He comes from a very close family, and from the little I know of them, I think he would step up...
Oh he may.
But he doesn't actually think it would be necessary.

Because it won't.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Husker says he would but only because it isn't likely to happen.

Empty words.
I believe him...He comes from a very close family, and from the little I know of them, I think he would step up...
Oh he may.
But he doesn't actually think it would be necessary.

Because it won't.

And there you have it.

It's really easy to say "shoulda, coulda, woulda".

But reality is not hypothetical.

When it comes to bringing a child into your life, you need to think "what will" not "what should".

TrudyML · Guru

Lexxy wrote:
I'm safe nobody who knows me well would want me to raise their kids.

Oh, go raise a cat!

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

TrudyML wrote:
Lexxy wrote:
I'm safe nobody who knows me well would want me to raise their kids.
Oh, go raise a cat!

Cats are easy! They sleep most of the time!

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I rewrote my will. I left my cats to ohfour.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I'd take my niece and nephew in without a seconds hesitation.

Of course I've had them every other weekend and holidays and vacations since they were babies.

But I'd have a real hard time taking in the younger kids in my family.

Not because I don't love them dearly, I do. But because I just don't have the patience for it.

Ohfour · Hooker

Lawyerlady wrote:
I rewrote my will. I left my cats to ohfour.

You better never die... evileye

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
I'd take my niece and nephew in without a seconds hesitation.

Of course I've had them every other weekend and holidays and vacations since they were babies.

But I'd have a real hard time taking in the younger kids in my family.

Not because I don't love them dearly, I do. But because I just don't have the patience for it.

LOL!!! So you get to say that you'd take in kids without any hesitation. But when I say the same thing, you don't believe me.

ridiculous.

Bonny22Pye · Guru

We asked DH's parents to decide who would be the guardian if something should happen to us. We realize that right now his Sister might be the best choice, but in 5 years it could be his other brother. This way no one feels an obligation.

huskerbb · Guru

Bonny22Pye wrote:
We asked DH's parents to decide who would be the guardian if something should happen to us. We realize that right now his Sister might be the best choice, but in 5 years it could be his other brother. This way no one feels an obligation.

That's not a horrible plan. Lots of things can change in 5 or 10 years time.

For us, mom and dad would have gotten them. That's not as much of an option for my siblings.

Tinydancer · Guru

I took my nieces in when their mother died who was my youngest sister but they were 15 and 16 at the time. Their father had died years ago in a car accident. I'm not sure if I could handle young kids but all of my nieces and nephews kids are always here so I think it would be an easier transition. My grandkids would already rather live here (well they might miss home) so I'd take any of them in and do the best I could. I come from a large family so there's always room for more.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I'd take my niece and nephew in without a seconds hesitation.

Of course I've had them every other weekend and holidays and vacations since they were babies.

But I'd have a real hard time taking in the younger kids in my family.

Not because I don't love them dearly, I do. But because I just don't have the patience for it.

LOL!!! So you get to say that you'd take in kids without any hesitation. But when I say the same thing, you don't believe me.

ridiculous.

No. That's not what I'm saying.

That's not what I'm saying at all.

My niece and nephew have lived here already. They spend half their time here. They have since they were born.

What I'm saying is, what a person should do is not always what they actually do.

I've done it to a degree.

And to get mad or stop being friends with someone because they decline your request is not what being friends is about.

Saying, yeah, I'll do it but I know I'll never have to, is not the same as saying yes with the full weight of the decision to live with.

It isn't something you promise thinking it won't happen.

It's something you promise as if they are at the door with no where to go.

Tinydancer · Guru

No one actually knows if they''ll step up or not. It's easy to say and hard to do. It's like when there's a disaster. Some people run one way, some run the other. A bomb goes off and a small percentage of people actually run towards it. The others talk a big game but they ran the other way.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I also think a person shouldn't consider the money they might get if taking in a child.

Shouldn't be a thought.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I'd take my niece and nephew in without a seconds hesitation.

Of course I've had them every other weekend and holidays and vacations since they were babies.

But I'd have a real hard time taking in the younger kids in my family.

Not because I don't love them dearly, I do. But because I just don't have the patience for it.

LOL!!! So you get to say that you'd take in kids without any hesitation. But when I say the same thing, you don't believe me.

ridiculous.
No. That's not what I'm saying.
That's not what I'm saying at all.
My niece and nephew have lived here already. They spend half their time here. They have since they were born.
What I'm saying is, what a person should do is not always what they actually do.
I've done it to a degree.
And to get mad or stop being friends with someone because they decline your request is not what being friends is about.
Saying, yeah, I'll do it but I know I'll never have to, is not the same as saying yes with the full weight of the decision to live with.
It isn't something you promise thinking it won't happen.
It's something you promise as if they are at the door with no where to go.

That is an IDIOTIC statement. It's hypothetical for EVERYONE until it happens. NO ONE has the "full weight" until that time.

Are you saying it IS going to happen? That's absurd.

Flat out stupid statement.

As far as being what friends is all about--it's about being there for them for the "big" things. ANYONE can be a friend if you would never consider doing anything important.

huskerbb · Guru

If both parents are 30 (male and female) when the child is born, here's the math:

The probability that the father will live at least another 18 years is ~0.98 (or 98%)

Therefore, the probability that the father will not live at least 18 years is 1 minus this or 1-0.98 = 0.02 or ~2% (in odds this is 49:1 odds against dying before the child is 18)

The probability that the mother will live at least another 18 years is ~0.99 (or 99%)

Therefore, the probability that the mother will not live at least 18 years is 1- minus this or (1-0.99) = 0.01 or ~1% (in odds this is 99:1 odds against dying before the child is 18)

The probability that neither the mother nor the father will live at least 18 years is simply the joint-mortality probability, or in this case 0.02 x 0.01 = 0.0002 or ~0.02%. In odds this is ~4,999:1 against this happening.

huskerbb · Guru

Therefore, to say that "well, I REALLY, REALLY mean it because I think it's actually likely to happen".

is stupid

-- Edited by huskerbb on Monday 14th of March 2016 07:39:16 PM

Tinydancer · Guru

Are you arguing with yourself right now? I'm confused.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
Are you arguing with yourself right now? I'm confused.

No. I'm calling lily out on her nonsense.

NAOW · Vette's SS

lilyofcourse wrote:
I also think a person shouldn't consider the money they might get if taking in a child.

Shouldn't be a thought.

I think money should be a thought. Sometimes people don't make enough to cover extra mouths to feed even though they love your kids and would be the best fit to raise them. They might turn it down just because of finances. It'd be much better for them to factor in the extra money and realize they can swing it than (general) you having to find someone else.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I'd take my niece and nephew in without a seconds hesitation.

Of course I've had them every other weekend and holidays and vacations since they were babies.

But I'd have a real hard time taking in the younger kids in my family.

Not because I don't love them dearly, I do. But because I just don't have the patience for it.

LOL!!! So you get to say that you'd take in kids without any hesitation. But when I say the same thing, you don't believe me.

ridiculous.
No. That's not what I'm saying.
That's not what I'm saying at all.
My niece and nephew have lived here already. They spend half their time here. They have since they were born.
What I'm saying is, what a person should do is not always what they actually do.
I've done it to a degree.
And to get mad or stop being friends with someone because they decline your request is not what being friends is about.
Saying, yeah, I'll do it but I know I'll never have to, is not the same as saying yes with the full weight of the decision to live with.
It isn't something you promise thinking it won't happen.
It's something you promise as if they are at the door with no where to go.

That is an IDIOTIC statement. It's hypothetical for EVERYONE until it happens. NO ONE has the "full weight" until that time.
Are you saying it IS going to happen? That's absurd.
Flat out stupid statement.

As far as being what friends is all about--it's about being there for them for the "big" things. ANYONE can be a friend if you would never consider doing anything important.

I can't even attempt to take you serious.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
Therefore, to say that "well, I REALLY, REALLY mean it because I think it's actually likely to happen".

is stupid

-- Edited by huskerbb on Monday 14th of March 2016 07:39:16 PM

So you make commitments without the slightest thought of having to go through with it.

In other words, you are all talk.

Go argue in the mirror.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

NAOW wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I also think a person shouldn't consider the money they might get if taking in a child.

Shouldn't be a thought.
I think money should be a thought. Sometimes people don't make enough to cover extra mouths to feed even though they love your kids and would be the best fit to raise them. They might turn it down just because of finances. It'd be much better for them to factor in the extra money and realize they can swing it than (general) you having to find someone else.

My thing is, if you are willing to take a child in, it should be without expectations of money.

Yes. Money will help.

But it shouldn't be a deciding fact.

At least in my book.

NAOW · Vette's SS

lilyofcourse wrote:
NAOW wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I also think a person shouldn't consider the money they might get if taking in a child.

Shouldn't be a thought.
I think money should be a thought. Sometimes people don't make enough to cover extra mouths to feed even though they love your kids and would be the best fit to raise them. They might turn it down just because of finances. It'd be much better for them to factor in the extra money and realize they can swing it than (general) you having to find someone else.

My thing is, if you are willing to take a child in, it should be without expectations of money.
Yes. Money will help.
But it shouldn't be a deciding fact.
At least in my book.

It should if the best person to take your kids wants to but literally can't afford it. Realizing that taking in the kids comes with extra money every month would absolutely be a deciding fact.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Therefore, to say that "well, I REALLY, REALLY mean it because I think it's actually likely to happen".

is stupid

-- Edited by huskerbb on Monday 14th of March 2016 07:39:16 PM
So you make commitments without the slightest thought of having to go through with it.
In other words, you are all talk.
Go argue in the mirror.

More stupid statements. I never said any such thing.

You can't even keep track of your own nonsense.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

huskerbb wrote:
just Czech wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Well husker would do it so should you...

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Monday 14th of March 2016 02:08:09 PM
No one has has to do anything--and likely O4 doesn't have any friends that would even ask at this point.
However, in the case of the OP, there could be ramifications for not doing so and they really have no room to whine.

Crazily enough, I have several friends with small kids. Hell, I have some friends that are freakin PREGNANT right now!!!! Of course I think they are crazy. But, hey! Good for them!
Yeah, I wouldn't really want to be "grandpa dad"--but if I had to, I would. My best friend's twins are only 5.
Hmmm, so do you plan on knocking L off?
Pretty sure at this point it's his SIL that gets them--but due to their religion he's not all that happy about it, so that might change.

I was under the impression the Will had already been changed. I could be wrong though. We were debating which one would be knocked off first though, E or C? biggrin

huskerbb · Guru

just Czech wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
just Czech wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Well husker would do it so should you...

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Monday 14th of March 2016 02:08:09 PM
No one has has to do anything--and likely O4 doesn't have any friends that would even ask at this point.
However, in the case of the OP, there could be ramifications for not doing so and they really have no room to whine.

Crazily enough, I have several friends with small kids. Hell, I have some friends that are freakin PREGNANT right now!!!! Of course I think they are crazy. But, hey! Good for them!
Yeah, I wouldn't really want to be "grandpa dad"--but if I had to, I would. My best friend's twins are only 5.
Hmmm, so do you plan on knocking L off?
Pretty sure at this point it's his SIL that gets them--but due to their religion he's not all that happy about it, so that might change.
I was under the impression the Will had already been changed. I could be wrong though. We were debating which one would be knocked off first though, E or C?

Only the good die young.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

huskerbb wrote:
just Czech wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
just Czech wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Well husker would do it so should you...

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Monday 14th of March 2016 02:08:09 PM
No one has has to do anything--and likely O4 doesn't have any friends that would even ask at this point.
However, in the case of the OP, there could be ramifications for not doing so and they really have no room to whine.

Crazily enough, I have several friends with small kids. Hell, I have some friends that are freakin PREGNANT right now!!!! Of course I think they are crazy. But, hey! Good for them!
Yeah, I wouldn't really want to be "grandpa dad"--but if I had to, I would. My best friend's twins are only 5.
Hmmm, so do you plan on knocking L off?
Pretty sure at this point it's his SIL that gets them--but due to their religion he's not all that happy about it, so that might change.
I was under the impression the Will had already been changed. I could be wrong though. We were debating which one would be knocked off first though, E or C?
Only the good die young.

E will live forever.

Cheerios4606 · Guru

This reminds me that I need to update our will. Our EX friend Joanne is still named as the one to take over parentage should hubby and I kick the bucket at the same time.

#Procrastinator

huskerbb · Guru

Cheerios4606 wrote:
This reminds me that I need to update our will. Our EX friend Joanne is still named as the one to take over parentage should hubby and I kick the bucket at the same time.

#Procrastinator

Ex???? We simply must hear the back story. wink

Cheerios4606 · Guru

Lol! Oh gawd no no no you don't! It was originally aired here on these boards 4 years ago and I am long over it.
If you MUST know tho, perhaps these will jog your memory.

https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/08/12/quote-not-lest-ye-be-wrong (For brievety of the article I am sure, Margo edited my letter enough that it screwed up what really happened, but the advise was well received and practiced none the less.)

http://catzeyes93.blogspot.com/2013/01/judge-not-lest-ye-be-judged.html

Cheerios4606 · Guru

!burp! Scuse me. Please delete.

-- Edited by Cheerios4606 on Tuesday 15th of March 2016 07:58:19 PM

huskerbb · Guru

No. Doesn't ring a bell.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Cheerios4606 wrote:
Lol! Oh gawd no no no you don't! It was originally aired here on these boards 4 years ago and I am long over it.
If you MUST know tho, perhaps these will jog your memory.
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-margo/08/12/quote-not-lest-ye-be-wrong (For brievety of the article I am sure, Margo edited my letter enough that it screwed up what really happened, but the advise was well received and practiced none the less.)
http://catzeyes93.blogspot.com/2013/01/judge-not-lest-ye-be-judged.html

It was nice to read that blogspot again. It is so well written.

Cheerios4606 · Guru

awwww.. thank you dear!