TOTALLY GEEKED!

How is she ending the marriage? He needs to respect her opinion on this as well. He is the one choosing to end it by not respecting her. Your wife should come before your brother.

This is something that she is against big time and it isn't something as minor as loaning a lawnmower but will involve a child and for all we know the brother can be a jerk and maybe he wasn't a good father to the first child.

Lindley wrote:

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This is something that she is against big time and it isn't something as minor as loaning a lawnmower but will involve a child and for all we know the brother can be a jerk and maybe he wasn't a good father to the first child.

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 That is irrelevant.  He can have a child, anyway.  

This would be minor--except she is having a ridiculous hissy fit about it over NOTHING.  

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Giving in to irrational, stupid demands by a spouse is NOT keeping your vows.

Let's say that he doesn't like one or two of her friends and he demands that she never spend time with them again.

Should she have to automatically give in just because he demands something? She has to dump her friends just because he wants her to and she simply must put him before her friends?

No, that's BS.

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 Irrational?  It's the brother who is irrational.  

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 BS.  There is ZERO good reason for her to oppose this. That is the definition of irrational.  

huskerbb wrote:

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Giving in to irrational, stupid demands by a spouse is NOT keeping your vows.

Let's say that he doesn't like one or two of her friends and he demands that she never spend time with them again.

Should she have to automatically give in just because he demands something? She has to dump her friends just because he wants her to and she simply must put him before her friends?

No, that's BS.

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 Not the same thing.  Also if my husband  didn't  like one of my friends  there would be a very good  reason  why he didn't  so yes z I would  end the friendship  because  I respect  him and visa versa.

 

There are lots of good reasons. You just dont' like her reasons. She has the right to her opinion. And, if you respect your spouse you are going to listen to their opinions and she to his. It doesnt' even sound like her husband wants to do it at all. He's just afraid of offending his brother which is not a good reason to do this. He doesn't even want to do it. So, why should she support that?

When spouses disagree--one does not automatically get their way every time--at least they shouldn't.

When possible, they should compromise. In this case, you can't compromise, so one of them is going to have to get their way.

So, you sit down and make a list of the pro's and con's.

Pro's

He gets to help his infertile brother.
The child will have the same family history and possibly even a resemblance to his father because the DNA will be very similar to his own even though he is sterile.

Con's

none

Lindley wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Lindley wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Giving in to irrational, stupid demands by a spouse is NOT keeping your vows.

Let's say that he doesn't like one or two of her friends and he demands that she never spend time with them again.

Should she have to automatically give in just because he demands something? She has to dump her friends just because he wants her to and she simply must put him before her friends?

No, that's BS.

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 Not the same thing.  Also if my husband  didn't  like one of my friends  there would be a very good  reason  why he didn't  so yes z I would  end the friendship  because  I respect  him and visa versa.

 

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 It's exactly the same thing.  Making irrational, stupid demands is not a reason to let your spouse always have their way.  

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 Nope its not the same thing.

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 You are right in one aspect--that is a major thing--and this is MINOR.  Otherwise, the only way it is different is that you know you are full of crap and don't see them as the same. 

Lindley wrote:

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There could be other reasons maybe the brother isn't responsible and for all we know not a good person. The husband isn't that excited about donating his sperm so of course she doesn't want him to. There could be a lot more to the story why she doesn't want him to that wasn't shared in the letter.

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 There's always a lot more to the story. For all we know, he's been thinking of divorcing her. Brothers are forever. Wives aren't.

Who knows?

weltschmerz wrote:

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Lindley wrote:

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There could be other reasons maybe the brother isn't responsible and for all we know not a good person. The husband isn't that excited about donating his sperm so of course she doesn't want him to. There could be a lot more to the story why she doesn't want him to that wasn't shared in the letter.

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 There's always a lot more to the story. For all we know, he's been thinking of divorcing her. Brothers are forever. Wives aren't.

Who knows?

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 And that right there is why society is going to hell and certain marriages are shorter than a season of TV.  Spouses are supposed to be forever. 

Lawyerlady wrote:

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weltschmerz wrote:

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Lindley wrote:

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There could be other reasons maybe the brother isn't responsible and for all we know not a good person. The husband isn't that excited about donating his sperm so of course she doesn't want him to. There could be a lot more to the story why she doesn't want him to that wasn't shared in the letter.

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 There's always a lot more to the story. For all we know, he's been thinking of divorcing her. Brothers are forever. Wives aren't.

Who knows?

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 And that right there is why society is going to hell and certain marriages are shorter than a season of TV.  Spouses are supposed to be forever. 

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 When you force a choice over nothing when there doesn't have to be a choice--that's when divorces happen.

Tinydancer wrote:

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Married couples are supposed to agree to things like this husker even if your wife just let's you do whatever you want.

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 ???  Married couples dont always agree on everything.  That's absurd.  When they don't agree and there is no compromise, then it needs to be looked at logically, and there is no logical reason to oppose this.

Tinydancer wrote:

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Except we've given you at least two good reasons but they're obviously not good enough for you. All I can say is I wouldn't want my husband having kids for another family. You can do whatever the hell you want because obviously your wife gives in to all your whims...lol

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 No, you havent.  Not wanting it is not a valid reason. 

Tinydancer wrote:

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It is to me and many others. It's a decision that should be agreed on by two people but I guess you think he should just do what he wants and the hell with what his wife wants. I guess my DH and I have a different agenda than you and your wife.

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 LOL!!  You seem to think that agree means that you automatically get your way when there is a dispute. 

 

 

huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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It is to me and many others. It's a decision that should be agreed on by two people but I guess you think he should just do what he wants and the hell with what his wife wants. I guess my DH and I have a different agenda than you and your wife.

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 LOL!!  You seem to think that agree means that you automatically get your way when there is a dispute. 

 

 

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No. It means if we don't agree it doesn't happen. You may be able to get your wife to agree or just go along but that wouldn't work for me.

Tinydancer wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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It is to me and many others. It's a decision that should be agreed on by two people but I guess you think he should just do what he wants and the hell with what his wife wants. I guess my DH and I have a different agenda than you and your wife.

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 LOL!!  You seem to think that agree means that you automatically get your way when there is a dispute. 

 

 

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No. It means if we don't agree it doesn't happen. You may be able to get your wife to agree or just go along but that wouldn't work for me.

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 That's bull.  that means exactly what I said--Yiu would get yiur way every time since his opinion apparently doesn't matter.  

Tinydancer wrote:

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Oh and "I don't want to" is reason enough for me.

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 You are full of ****.  If your husband said he never wanted to go see your family because he doesn't want to, then that would be the end of it?  BS.

huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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Oh and "I don't want to" is reason enough for me.

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 You are full of ****.  If your husband said he never wanted to go see your family because he doesn't want to, then that would be the end of it?  BS.

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 So if your wife said she wanted to have random sex with some guy but you didn't agree she'd go ahead with it...lol

Tinydancer wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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Oh and "I don't want to" is reason enough for me.

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 You are full of ****.  If your husband said he never wanted to go see your family because he doesn't want to, then that would be the end of it?  BS.

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 So if your wife said she wanted to have random sex with some guy but you didn't agree she'd go ahead with it...lol

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 That is breaking vows she took.  I can't stop her, but it would end the marriage.  

 

You  didn't answer the question.

Yup because to husker bros come before hos (really who talks about their wife that way?).

My husband would tell his brother to adopt. There are lots of kids out there that need homes.

Yeah but bros before hos even if the ho is your wife.

It's different than an anonymous sperm donor. You don't have regular contact with the child with an anonymous donor. I could imagine it might be difficult having regular contact with the child knowing you are the biological father. It was a lot to ask once. I really can't believe he asked again.

I couldn't imagine watching someone else correct my child, especially if it was in a way that I didn't agree with. What it the husband is TOTALLY against spanking, yet has to watch the brother spank his child in anger time after time. You wouldn't want to have a say in that, knowing it was your child?