Q. No more children: My wife and I struggled with miscarriages until our twins were born, and it nearly cost my wife her life. The boys are 4 now, and my wife keeps bringing up how much she wants a daughter. We are at an impasse—financially, medically, and emotionally, we can’t go through another pregnancy. Our doctor agreed, and my wife switched to another one. It is killing our marriage, and I have taken to working late so I can sleep in the guest room rather than face my wife. Any overtures of intimacy make me suspicious that she is trying to get pregnant. We tried counseling, but I felt bullied by the therapist, and we stopped going. I love my wife and I love my sons, but I can’t see any way around this.
A: If you’re actually worried your wife would try to get pregnant without your consent, your relationship has broken down to a state of emergency. Find another therapist, one who understands the gravity of your situation and does not attempt to bully you into going along with his or her ideas, and start going now. Go together if you can, but go alone if you must. You know there are alternatives to pregnancy if you want another child; normally I’d recommend the two of you discuss fostering and adoption, but I’m deeply concerned by your suggestion that your wife is willing to risk her own health and manipulate you into a situation that could kill her. She needs to agree that she will not make a unilateral decision about having more children without your consent, and you need to figure out if you can trust her. Sleeping in the guest room and hoping she doesn’t notice is not a solution to your problem.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I guess I would be interested to know what doctor #2 says. Twin pregnancies are often very difficult. It's at least plausible that another pregnancy--with just a single--might not be as dire.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
It doesn't hurt to get a second opinion. But, yes if your doctor advised against it, then you really better pay attention to that. The twins need their mother. You can't always have what you want.
If she plans to get pregnant without his consent, then there is nothing wrong with him getting snipped without her consent.
Takes two to play the game and IMHO, this marriage is already doomed.
She can't get pregnant without his consent--unless she's going to find a different father.
That's absolutely retarded. If that were true, there would be no children with father's that didn't want them. So every time you have sex, you are consenting to pregnancy?
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
If she plans to get pregnant without his consent, then there is nothing wrong with him getting snipped without her consent.
Takes two to play the game and IMHO, this marriage is already doomed.
She can't get pregnant without his consent--unless she's going to find a different father.
That's absolutely retarded. If that were true, there would be no children with father's that didn't want them. So every time you have sex, you are consenting to pregnancy?
You are consenting to tha possibility unless you know for certain one of you is sterile.
__________________
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
If she plans to get pregnant without his consent, then there is nothing wrong with him getting snipped without her consent.
Takes two to play the game and IMHO, this marriage is already doomed.
She can't get pregnant without his consent--unless she's going to find a different father.
That's absolutely retarded. If that were true, there would be no children with father's that didn't want them. So every time you have sex, you are consenting to pregnancy?
You are consenting to tha possibility unless you know for certain one of you is sterile.
So, if he REALLY doesn't want kids, he should just not have sex...Right?
__________________
America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
If she plans to get pregnant without his consent, then there is nothing wrong with him getting snipped without her consent.
Takes two to play the game and IMHO, this marriage is already doomed.
She can't get pregnant without his consent--unless she's going to find a different father.
That's absolutely retarded. If that were true, there would be no children with father's that didn't want them. So every time you have sex, you are consenting to pregnancy?
You are consenting to tha possibility unless you know for certain one of you is sterile.
So, if he REALLY doesn't want kids, he should just not have sex...Right?
he can have sex--but I wouldn't recommend it with her. Do you really think he can trust her?
__________________
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
If she plans to get pregnant without his consent, then there is nothing wrong with him getting snipped without her consent.
Takes two to play the game and IMHO, this marriage is already doomed.
She can't get pregnant without his consent--unless she's going to find a different father.
That's absolutely retarded. If that were true, there would be no children with father's that didn't want them. So every time you have sex, you are consenting to pregnancy?
If she plans to get pregnant without his consent, then there is nothing wrong with him getting snipped without her consent.
Takes two to play the game and IMHO, this marriage is already doomed.
She can't get pregnant without his consent--unless she's going to find a different father.
That's absolutely retarded. If that were true, there would be no children with father's that didn't want them. So every time you have sex, you are consenting to pregnancy?
A few posters here have said pretty much that.
flan
I was point out the absurdity of Husker's comment. Is it just me, or does he just change with the wind? Every post is a different mantra. DNA is DNA, expect when it's not. He couldn't LIVE without sex, but if his wife wanted another baby and he didn't, he would stop having sex...
It's hard to keep up with him these days...
__________________
America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
If she plans to get pregnant without his consent, then there is nothing wrong with him getting snipped without her consent.
Takes two to play the game and IMHO, this marriage is already doomed.
She can't get pregnant without his consent--unless she's going to find a different father.
That's absolutely retarded. If that were true, there would be no children with father's that didn't want them. So every time you have sex, you are consenting to pregnancy?
A few posters here have said pretty much that.
flan
I was point out the absurdity of Husker's comment. Is it just me, or does he just change with the wind? Every post is a different mantra. DNA is DNA, expect when it's not. He couldn't LIVE without sex, but if his wife wanted another baby and he didn't, he would stop having sex...
It's hard to keep up with him these days...
My wife had her tubes done over 15 Years ago.
__________________
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
If she plans to get pregnant without his consent, then there is nothing wrong with him getting snipped without her consent.
Takes two to play the game and IMHO, this marriage is already doomed.
She can't get pregnant without his consent--unless she's going to find a different father.
That's absolutely retarded. If that were true, there would be no children with father's that didn't want them. So every time you have sex, you are consenting to pregnancy?
A few posters here have said pretty much that.
flan
I was point out the absurdity of Husker's comment. Is it just me, or does he just change with the wind? Every post is a different mantra. DNA is DNA, expect when it's not. He couldn't LIVE without sex, but if his wife wanted another baby and he didn't, he would stop having sex...
It's hard to keep up with him these days...
My wife had her tubes done over 15 Years ago.
So?
__________________
America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
If she plans to get pregnant without his consent, then there is nothing wrong with him getting snipped without her consent.
Takes two to play the game and IMHO, this marriage is already doomed.
She can't get pregnant without his consent--unless she's going to find a different father.
That's absolutely retarded. If that were true, there would be no children with father's that didn't want them. So every time you have sex, you are consenting to pregnancy?
A few posters here have said pretty much that.
flan
I was point out the absurdity of Husker's comment. Is it just me, or does he just change with the wind? Every post is a different mantra. DNA is DNA, expect when it's not. He couldn't LIVE without sex, but if his wife wanted another baby and he didn't, he would stop having sex...
It's hard to keep up with him these days...
My wife had her tubes done over 15 Years ago.
So?
So her wanting to have another baby is not a possibility.
__________________
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
If she plans to get pregnant without his consent, then there is nothing wrong with him getting snipped without her consent.
Takes two to play the game and IMHO, this marriage is already doomed.
She can't get pregnant without his consent--unless she's going to find a different father.
That's absolutely retarded. If that were true, there would be no children with father's that didn't want them. So every time you have sex, you are consenting to pregnancy?
A few posters here have said pretty much that.
flan
I was point out the absurdity of Husker's comment. Is it just me, or does he just change with the wind? Every post is a different mantra. DNA is DNA, expect when it's not. He couldn't LIVE without sex, but if his wife wanted another baby and he didn't, he would stop having sex...
It's hard to keep up with him these days...
My wife had her tubes done over 15 Years ago.
So?
So her wanting to have another baby is not a possibility.
Sure it is! I know people that have had it reversed. I know people that have gotten pregnant even after having their tubes tied. There are only 3 ways of guaranteeing not getting pregnant. Period.
__________________
America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
If she plans to get pregnant without his consent, then there is nothing wrong with him getting snipped without her consent.
Takes two to play the game and IMHO, this marriage is already doomed.
She can't get pregnant without his consent--unless she's going to find a different father.
That's absolutely retarded. If that were true, there would be no children with father's that didn't want them. So every time you have sex, you are consenting to pregnancy?
A few posters here have said pretty much that.
flan
I was point out the absurdity of Husker's comment. Is it just me, or does he just change with the wind? Every post is a different mantra. DNA is DNA, expect when it's not. He couldn't LIVE without sex, but if his wife wanted another baby and he didn't, he would stop having sex...
It's hard to keep up with him these days...
My wife had her tubes done over 15 Years ago.
So?
So her wanting to have another baby is not a possibility.
Sure it is! I know people that have had it reversed. I know people that have gotten pregnant even after having their tubes tied. There are only 3 ways of guaranteeing not getting pregnant. Period.
But she obviously doesn't want another child. If it happens, it happens, but of she wanted one she wouldn't have had that done.
__________________
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
If she plans to get pregnant without his consent, then there is nothing wrong with him getting snipped without her consent.
Takes two to play the game and IMHO, this marriage is already doomed.
She can't get pregnant without his consent--unless she's going to find a different father.
That's absolutely retarded. If that were true, there would be no children with father's that didn't want them. So every time you have sex, you are consenting to pregnancy?
You are consenting to tha possibility unless you know for certain one of you is sterile.
So, if he REALLY doesn't want kids, he should just not have sex...Right?
he can have sex--but I wouldn't recommend it with her. Do you really think he can trust her?
Are you condoning adultery b/c his wife wants another kid?
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
