Q. Don’t want to donate: This is a totally hypothetical question that a friend asked me and which is now leading to a fight. My friend asked me if I would ever be a living organ donor to a stranger. I said I wouldn’t. My friend then asked if I would donate to somebody I knew slightly, like an acquaintance or a co-worker. Again I said no. My friend then asked if I would donate to a good friend (we were good friends). I said no, I would not. This is where my friend got mad. My friend is in perfect health and does not need a kidney or any other organ. My friend asked why I would be so selfish. I told my friend that, working in the medical field, I know that there are no guarantees. You can die or have complications from any kind of surgery, and donating a kidney is major surgery. Plus, I would be out of work for a while. Plus, I have a host of relatives I would donate to, including my spouse, siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, etc. For some bizarre reason this has caused a huge rift in what was a good friendship. Do you think it is selfish to not want to be a living donor to anybody but a relation?
A: I do not think it is selfish to want to donate a kidney “only” to family members. It is, as you say, a deeply personal medical decision, and I have no idea why your friend is so determined to punish you for failing to give the right answer to her hypothetical transplant question. You are not opposed to organ donation in any way. You are not suggesting you would never donate an organ under any circumstance. You have particular conditions for undergoing an invasive medical procedure. I don’t quite know what she wants you to say to her—“Sharice, I’m sorry I didn’t fake-give my kidney to someone I used to know from work but have since developed an independent friendship with, so she’s really less of a colleague and more of an honorary sister”? Tell her you care about your friendship, you’re sorry to see this hypothetical situation come between the two of you, and you’d like to let the subject drop and move on. If she can’t drop it, that’s a shame for her, and you may have to keep both your kidneys and your friendship to yourself.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
If I was perfectly healthy, I don't know until the circumstances hit whether I would donate any organ. However, there is a history of kidney disease in my family so I would probably decline unless I was a match for a child or DH.
Why is the friend getting all butt hurt over a hypothetical situation, and even if not hypothetical, it is not her place to tell LW what she should do or judge her for her honest answer. Sounds as if friend was out to pick a fight.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I am not an organ donor. But my husband has my permission to donate my organs if he sees fit should something happen. I would perhaps reconsider for a close relative depending on the situation.
I have a cousin who is dying, he had a heart transplant about 4 years ago. His body is rejecting it.
There is nothing to be done.
Honestly, I don't know how he got this one in the first place.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
While I'm still alive, I would donate blood, plasma, bone marrow and a piece of liver. These things regenerate.
After I'm dead, take anything you want. I won't be needing them.
I think this person wanted to know that their best friend really is their best friend. They needed to know the extent of love their friend has for them. I have a friend who asks questions very similar to this and I've got it all figured out now :) childish, yes.
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Turn your face to the sun and the shadows will fall behind you.
I think this person wanted to know that their best friend really is their best friend. They needed to know the extent of love their friend has for them. I have a friend who asks questions very similar to this and I've got it all figured out now :) childish, yes.
That must be very tiring.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I really don't know if i would allow my kids to give me a kidney.
No. You don't donate up. They have too many years left that might need the kidney, or their children might need it. The older generation has lived longer - they don't get organs from living donors that might someday need them.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
