If I had to choose - what a horrible thing to have to choose, btw - I would choose the heterosexual child getting an abortion.
I should say they would elicit the same negative response, but my reasoning -
Being homosexual would be a lifelong struggle and in giving in to those urges would result in continuously living in sin, while an abortion would be a one time occurrence that I would hope they would regret and repent for.
Sins are supposed to be equal, but one sin would be over and done with, and forgiving and moving forward would be easier than having to be faced with something I believe is a sin every single day for the rest of my life.
Now, had you just said having your child be homosexual without the getting married part - I would have chosen that.
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Basically, a mom with a daughter my age just discovered her daughters roomate is actually her fiancé. She is very very Christian, and not taking it well. Another woman from the same church tried to comfort her by saying at least she won't be getting an abortion any time soon, somethimg she will never forgive one of her daughters for.
Mom1 went off on mom2.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Basically, a mom with a daughter my age just discovered her daughters roomate is actually her fiancé. She is very very Christian, and not taking it well. Another woman from the same church tried to comfort her by saying at least she won't be getting an abortion any time soon, somethimg she will never forgive one of her daughters for. Mom1 went off on mom2.
Basically, a mom with a daughter my age just discovered her daughters roomate is actually her fiancé. She is very very Christian, and not taking it well. Another woman from the same church tried to comfort her by saying at least she won't be getting an abortion any time soon, somethimg she will never forgive one of her daughters for. Mom1 went off on mom2.
Well, isn't that just horrible. Geez, lady.
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
And that doesn't mean I would stop loving my child.
And it doesn't mean I would turn my back on my child.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Basically, a mom with a daughter my age just discovered her daughters roomate is actually her fiancé. She is very very Christian, and not taking it well. Another woman from the same church tried to comfort her by saying at least she won't be getting an abortion any time soon, somethimg she will never forgive one of her daughters for. Mom1 went off on mom2.
Well, isn't that just horrible. Geez, lady.
Wow...
__________________
America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
Mom2 disowned her daughter. Mom 1 is 'examining her heart through prayer' and crying.
To be fair, her daughter, S, REALLY should not have dropped both bombs at once.
Mom2 disowned her daughter. Mom 1 is 'examining her heart through prayer' and crying. To be fair, her daughter, S, REALLY should not have dropped both bombs at once.
Both bombs? You mean being gay AND getting married?
I agree. She should have come out first, allowed her mother to get used to that, and then the other would not be as much of a shock.
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I don't have to worry about either situation, but had one of my kids come out as gay, I would love them and probably love their partner, if the partner was a good person. We have gay friends and family, and we have never treated them or their partners any differently than we do the others.
And of course, I would forgive abortion. But we don't have to worry about that either. Both girls called us on the way home from their drs appointments to tell us they were pregnant...all 3 times. Abortion was never even a thought for either of them...
__________________
America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
I hope my daughters never choose to get an abortion, but if they are set on doing it, I hope they don't tell me until it's over. I think our relationship would be more damaged by me begging them not to do it and promising to help them, and them doing it anyway, than just telling me after.
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I certainly get the impression mom 1 just found out, but it seems off. S has not been in the closet for years, it was not any big secret. I mean, I knew. Pretty sure everyone did.
I certainly get the impression mom 1 just found out, but it seems off. S has not been in the closet for years, it was not any big secret. I mean, I knew. Pretty sure everyone did.
Mom2 is kinda a jerk. I knew her 4th daughter moved out young and lived with her bfs parents for a while, and I knew her mom refused to go to her wedding, but I assumed it was because bf was black .
Although I will say, I'm having a hard time with a friend that just had her girlfriend move in with her. After some vague Facebook posts, I realized that friend and her best friends DAUGHTER are in a relationship. Both are adults, but that's just a little too incestuous to me. The friend and her friend have been besties since high school and raised their kids together. It's REALLY bothering me and I'm honestly considering totally removing myself from friend.
__________________
America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
Although I will say, I'm having a hard time with a friend that just had her girlfriend move in with her. After some vague Facebook posts, I realized that friend and her best friends DAUGHTER are in a relationship. Both are adults, but that's just a little too incestuous to me. The friend and her friend have been besties since high school and raised their kids together. It's REALLY bothering me and I'm honestly considering totally removing myself from friend.
I didn't vote. I don't think I would handle either very well.
That is one of the options!
How I would handle either to the child is debatable. I internalize a lot when it comes to my kids. Inside myself, I would NOT handle either very well, but I question how I would handle either situation to their face. That is where the issue lies with me.
__________________
I drink coffee so I don't kill you.
I quilt so I don't kill you.
Do you see a theme?
Faith isn't something that keeps bad things from happening. Faith is what helps us get through bad things when they do happen.
Gotcha.
I think after the crying and praying and such, mom1 will come around and embrace her daughter, and support her, even if she internally cringes at her choices. She is really a very nice lady.
But right now HOLY CHEESE DOG is she upset.
There are now engagement photos. S did not post them, someone else did, but S is tagged. Super cute, but I bet it is not helping mom. I bet S untagges herself. Or has friend take them down.
Gotcha. I think after the crying and praying and such, mom1 will come around and embrace her daughter, and support her, even if she internally cringes at her choices. She is really a very nice lady. But right now HOLY CHEESE DOG is she upset.
I think she will still love her daughter, but I don't know that she'll ever embrace the relationship.
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I don’t know. In a couple of posts, she mentions thinking of M as another daughter previously.
Also references to how wonderful and kind M was when her husband was in the hospital (M is physical therapist, and I believe she is affiliated with the local hospital )
Right now, if I had to pick a word, it would be betrayed. But, we will see. She certainly tore mom2 a new one. For everyhing.
Mom2 is apparently 'letting her own stubborn pride and cold heart' control her actions, and there are apparently grandkids in the picture that mom2 is not allowed to ever see.
All the drama!!! I should clearly keep up with this group a little better!
No but they are in the scenario with Mom 2 who never forgave her daughter & never gets to see her grandkids.
-- Edited by Lexxy on Wednesday 23rd of March 2016 01:09:59 PM
And that is HORRIBLE. It's done. There is not one thing she can do to change that. And now she doesn't get to see her daughter or her grandkids. She will die a lonely person...
__________________
America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
No but they are in the scenario with Mom 2 who never forgave her daughter & never gets to see her grandkids.
-- Edited by Lexxy on Wednesday 23rd of March 2016 01:09:59 PM
And that is HORRIBLE. It's done. There is not one thing she can do to change that. And now she doesn't get to see her daughter or her grandkids. She will die a lonely person...
No but they are in the scenario with Mom 2 who never forgave her daughter & never gets to see her grandkids.
-- Edited by Lexxy on Wednesday 23rd of March 2016 01:09:59 PM
And that is HORRIBLE. It's done. There is not one thing she can do to change that. And now she doesn't get to see her daughter or her grandkids. She will die a lonely person...
I completely agree.
This is why I would internalize my feelings, bit my tongue and force myself to go forward. I wouldn't be happy, but I would still have contact with my child and grandchildren.
__________________
I drink coffee so I don't kill you.
I quilt so I don't kill you.
Do you see a theme?
Faith isn't something that keeps bad things from happening. Faith is what helps us get through bad things when they do happen.
No but they are in the scenario with Mom 2 who never forgave her daughter & never gets to see her grandkids.
-- Edited by Lexxy on Wednesday 23rd of March 2016 01:09:59 PM
And that is HORRIBLE. It's done. There is not one thing she can do to change that. And now she doesn't get to see her daughter or her grandkids. She will die a lonely person...
And she won't accept the fact that it is HER fault.
I would be disappointed if my child had an abortion or rather if he wanted his partner to have one. I certainly wouldn't cut him out of my life over it.
The moms described here are . . . Ugly. I can't think of a better word for these attitudes.
And I don't think it would bother me if my son turned out to be gay. I would probably be concerned because it would make his life more complicated, but I would support him.
There is very little that DSS could do that would force me to evaluate my want of happiness for him. Then again, I was raised with a mother who worked for two same-sex partners, whose brother was half-black and Muslim, and had a Catholic priest try to convince her to have an abortion and then get her tubes tied back in 1972 (long story).
Actually, as weird as this sounds at first, if DIL had an abortion, I would be relieved. DIL has had a kidney transplant and her anti-rejection meds are not healthy for pregnancy. If she stops her anti-rejection meds, it can and probably would kill her. I would rather have her alive than have a grandchild that way. They are looking to adopt and/or foster when they are more financially secure.
I had to vote "other" because while both options would be acceptable (in the fact that they are homosexual or that they made the choice for abortion), the abortion one is the only one that would upset me. I would get over it, but in the moment I would be disappointed.
Now that I think about it, I probably could have just as easily voted "My child being gay, and married to a person of the same sex." because while I find both "acceptable" (as explained above), that one wouldn't have any adverse reaction from me. So, by default, that makes that the one I would "have an easier time dealing with".
