DEAR ABBY: How do I talk to my husband about putting his dog "Sunny" to sleep? My husband is the most loving, caring, generous person I have ever met, and I don't know how to tell him it's time to let his best friend go.
Sunny is 15 1/2 years old and can barely walk because of bad hips. The poor thing can see only shadows and is almost completely deaf. He has been like this for the last two years and is deteriorating steadily.
I'm trying to be understanding and supportive. I bought reusable diapers when Sunny could no longer control his bowels and bladder. I carry him outside multiple times a day and hold him up so he can urinate without the diaper. I wash him regularly after he soils himself. It is very sad. I keep hoping he will pass on in his sleep so my husband won't have to make the call, but he is still clinging to life.
It is difficult to bring this up with my husband because he knows I'm frustrated with constantly cleaning up pee and poop and washing bedding after there has been an accident. I don't want him to think I want him to put the dog to sleep just because it is difficult. It's just time.
Sunny's quality of life is zero. The only thing he can do is eat and sleep. Is that enough? Am I wrong? What should I say to my husband to put the poor animal out of his misery? -- IT'S TIME, IN RENO
DEAR IT'S TIME: Your husband is doing his best friend no favor by letting him linger this way. What's going on now isn't fair to Sunny or to you. You might point out that dogs were put on this earth to run and play and enjoy their lives, something that Sunny hasn't been able to do for a long time.
Suggest he contact Sunny's veterinarian and talk to him/her about his beloved dog's condition, because I'm pretty sure the vet will agree with me. Then be prepared, because your husband may be so bonded with Sunny that he will need grief counseling after his dog is no more.
I carry him outside multiple times a day and hold him up so he can urinate without the diaper. I wash him regularly after he soils himself. It is very sad. I keep hoping he will pass on in his sleep so my husband won't have to make the call, but he is still clinging to life.
It is difficult to bring this up with my husband because he knows I'm frustrated with constantly cleaning up pee and poop and washing bedding
Here's a thought. How about let HUBBY do some of the cleaning and washing?
Hemi is 14 going on 15 years. He has a bad tooth and we won't operate on it because he might not make it through the surgery. They would have to reconstruct his jaw if they took the tooth out. It would be major surgery and about $5000. He's just too old. He eats fine, plays fine, and chews on things. We have decided at this point if something major comes up we will put him down. He's just too old. He has arthritis which is normal but still moves around. The only thing he's had wrong with him was a year ago he had an ear infection. We got drops for about $15. That's reasonable. There comes a time when you have to let go. This dog is well past that. It doesn't even sound like the dog walks on his own. Put the dog out of his misery.
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“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou
It sounds mean but she may have to do the right think with or without her husband. This is cruel to make the dog suffer any longer because the husband won't be reasonable. She can say ok on x day I am taking him in. I will not be carrying him and cleaning up anymore either.
or do it when her husband is gone and tell hm the dog passed. The poor doggy.
-- Edited by Mary Zombie on Thursday 31st of March 2016 01:33:08 PM
I read the title of this as Husband needs his dog to sleep. I think there are a couple words left out of the title.
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“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou
It sounds mean but she may have to do the right think with or without her husband. This is cruel to make the dog suffer any longer because the husband won't be reasonable. She can say ok on x day I am taking him in. I will not be carrying him and cleaning up anymore either.
or do it when her husband is gone and tell hm the dog passed. The poor doggy.
-- Edited by Mary Zombie on Thursday 31st of March 2016 01:33:08 PM
I agree.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
What a heartbreaking story. yeah, I would probably wait till daddy is not around, and then bring the dog myself to be put to sleep. Daddy would never forgive mommy for not getting a chance to say goodbye, but at this stage, it really needs to be done.
In my experience, people wait much longer than they should because it is a difficult decision. They can't let go. I'm hoping I won't be the same way.
I did with one of my cats. She had thyroid problems & I couldn't get her to take her meds. She was down to skin & bone. I told myself I'd give her one more summer to enjoy & then put her down in the fall. She didn't last that long. She took herself off to die in the woods. I felt really guilty.
In my experience, people wait much longer than they should because it is a difficult decision. They can't let go. I'm hoping I won't be the same way.
I did with one of my cats. She had thyroid problems & I couldn't get her to take her meds. She was down to skin & bone. I told myself I'd give her one more summer to enjoy & then put her down in the fall. She didn't last that long. She took herself off to die in the woods. I felt really guilty.
Don't beat yourself up. It's a very hard thing to do. She knew when it was time, and died naturally. That's OK. We just have to remember that just because we don't want to let them go doesn't mean it isn't time. And how much are the "enjoying" life when they hurt constantly? When my puppy like senior citizen dog stops smiling at me, I'll know it's time for her to go.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I honestly don't think she was in any pain. She was just ravenously hungry. But if she found her meds hidden in any type of food she would never eat that food again. One day we were eating Burger King & she was all over me trying to steal my food. From that point on I fed her double cheese burgers with no meds.
The vet at home is a good idea. Some may think this is awful but DF has friendss that had no money to take their ailing ancient cat to the vet. He had leftover lortab from dental work and they dosed her until she just went to sleep. She was curled up purring between them in bed when they turned in and in the morning she was gone. I am not suggesting this but in a pinch ya know? DF would have taken her in and paid to put her down had it not worked btw...
-- Edited by Mary Zombie on Friday 1st of April 2016 11:25:52 AM
-- Edited by Mary Zombie on Friday 1st of April 2016 11:26:53 AM