TOTALLY GEEKED!

huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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My DH says "Happy wife happy life" and I say "Happy husband happy home". It's really about trying to make each other happy but respecting them even when you disagree.

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 I dont disagree--which is why words such as "forbid" or phrases such as "put your foot down" have no place in a marriage.  They inherently imply disrespect.  

 

Now, sometimes, there are no good compromises, and it has to be one way or the other--but hopefully by weighing the pros and cons a decision that is best for the marriage/family can be reached.

 

in this case, however, there seems to be quite a few compromises that could be made.  Like I said, maybe dad hearing from the pediatrician that the girl is overweight might open his eyes.  

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 So, it's perfectly ok for a husband to ignore his wife's concerns and opinions until they are backed up by the pediatrician?

The incidence of global diabetes has quadrupled since the 1980s.

Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Mary Zombie wrote:

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Oh right. She is being controlling by trying to prevent her husband and MIL from causing their obese kid to get diabetes amp by many other health issues. .... Lol
Time for a come to Jesus with the father. Geesh

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 Yep.  I don't have to "forbid" my husband to do anything, but.....happy wife, happy life, right?

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 So...when you don't get your way you make sure he's unhappy?

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 If he did something like this and wouldn't listen to reason, I would be very unhappy.  So, why does only his unhappiness matter?  And if he was making me that unhappy, I wouldn't give a rat's ass if he was "unhappy" over my reaction to it.

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 Why does only your unhappiness matter?  

And HE is the one doing the action causing the unhappiness.

Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Mary Zombie wrote:

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Oh right. She is being controlling by trying to prevent her husband and MIL from causing their obese kid to get diabetes amp by many other health issues. .... Lol
Time for a come to Jesus with the father. Geesh

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 Yep.  I don't have to "forbid" my husband to do anything, but.....happy wife, happy life, right?

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 So...when you don't get your way you make sure he's unhappy?

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 If he did something like this and wouldn't listen to reason, I would be very unhappy.  So, why does only his unhappiness matter?  And if he was making me that unhappy, I wouldn't give a rat's ass if he was "unhappy" over my reaction to it.

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 Why does only your unhappiness matter?  

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 'Cause if I ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.  

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 So bullying.  Got it.  

Tinydancer wrote:

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Sure because when you're unhappy husker I bet you're a bundle of joy...lol

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 If I'm unhappy, it's not because of anything in my marriage.  That is beyond rare.

huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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Sure because when you're unhappy husker I bet you're a bundle of joy...lol

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 If I'm unhappy, it's not because of anything in my marriage.  That is beyond rare.

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 Would you be stupid enough to ignore your wife's concerns about your children's health?

Of course, that wouldn't be an issue for me. My husband is not a clueless idiot.

huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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Sure because when you're unhappy husker I bet you're a bundle of joy...lol

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 If I'm unhappy, it's not because of anything in my marriage.  That is beyond rare.

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 Would you be stupid enough to ignore your wife's concerns about your children's health?

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 They disagree.  She may be right here--I tend to think so--but reasonable people can disagree on the problem, and the potential solutions.  Getting his help to solve this will be FAR more productive than setting up conditions that he will either ignore--which is the response so far--or simply go behind her back.

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 Yes - so far he has ignored her concerns completely - which makes him the one in the WRONG.  You don't get to ignore your spouses concerns.  If my DH was upset about something I was encouraging our child in, I would certainly not ignore him and keep doing it, especially if it was a valid concern.  And I'm sure there is not anyone that would disagree that too many sweets are a health concern.  At least not anyone with half a brain.

huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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Sure because when you're unhappy husker I bet you're a bundle of joy...lol

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 If I'm unhappy, it's not because of anything in my marriage.  That is beyond rare.

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 Would you be stupid enough to ignore your wife's concerns about your children's health?

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 They disagree.  She may be right here--I tend to think so--but reasonable people can disagree on the problem, and the potential solutions.  Getting his help to solve this will be FAR more productive than setting up conditions that he will either ignore--which is the response so far--or simply go behind her back.

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 Yes - so far he has ignored her concerns completely - which makes him the one in the WRONG.  You don't get to ignore your spouses concerns.  If my DH was upset about something I was encouraging our child in, I would certainly not ignore him and keep doing it, especially if it was a valid concern.  And I'm sure there is not anyone that would disagree that too many sweets are a health concern.  At least not anyone with half a brain.

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 He is in the wrong--but she can "forbid" all she wants and that isn't going to change a damn thing.

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 Nope.  But a bit of misery might.  

huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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Sure because when you're unhappy husker I bet you're a bundle of joy...lol

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 If I'm unhappy, it's not because of anything in my marriage.  That is beyond rare.

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 Would you be stupid enough to ignore your wife's concerns about your children's health?

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 They disagree.  She may be right here--I tend to think so--but reasonable people can disagree on the problem, and the potential solutions.  Getting his help to solve this will be FAR more productive than setting up conditions that he will either ignore--which is the response so far--or simply go behind her back.

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 Yes - so far he has ignored her concerns completely - which makes him the one in the WRONG.  You don't get to ignore your spouses concerns.  If my DH was upset about something I was encouraging our child in, I would certainly not ignore him and keep doing it, especially if it was a valid concern.  And I'm sure there is not anyone that would disagree that too many sweets are a health concern.  At least not anyone with half a brain.

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 He is in the wrong--but she can "forbid" all she wants and that isn't going to change a damn thing.

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 Nope.  But a bit of misery might.  

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 very dobtful.  That is a very poor way to try to solve a conflict.  Only an idiot would do that.

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 Really?  You don't even know what kind of misery I'm talking about.  I'm talking about not buying or cooking anything my husband might like.  I mean making everything I do in the house with food about my daughter's health.  I mean not listening to a damn thing he wants in terms of food since he can't listen to me about food.

It means natural consequences of his actions.  

Oh for gravy sake

Well. Ya'll are doodie heads 😎😎

Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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Sure because when you're unhappy husker I bet you're a bundle of joy...lol

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 If I'm unhappy, it's not because of anything in my marriage.  That is beyond rare.

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 Would you be stupid enough to ignore your wife's concerns about your children's health?

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 They disagree.  She may be right here--I tend to think so--but reasonable people can disagree on the problem, and the potential solutions.  Getting his help to solve this will be FAR more productive than setting up conditions that he will either ignore--which is the response so far--or simply go behind her back.

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 Yes - so far he has ignored her concerns completely - which makes him the one in the WRONG.  You don't get to ignore your spouses concerns.  If my DH was upset about something I was encouraging our child in, I would certainly not ignore him and keep doing it, especially if it was a valid concern.  And I'm sure there is not anyone that would disagree that too many sweets are a health concern.  At least not anyone with half a brain.

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 He is in the wrong--but she can "forbid" all she wants and that isn't going to change a damn thing.

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 Nope.  But a bit of misery might.  

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 very dobtful.  That is a very poor way to try to solve a conflict.  Only an idiot would do that.

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 Really?  You don't even know what kind of misery I'm talking about.  I'm talking about not buying or cooking anything my husband might like.  I mean making everything I do in the house with food about my daughter's health.  I mean not listening to a damn thing he wants in terms of food since he can't listen to me about food.

It means natural consequences of his actions.  

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 That's exactly what im talking about.  Passive aggressive nonsense.

Lawyerlady wrote:

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vs. OVERT ignoring of your spouse. Telling him directly hasn't worked.

 

And it wouldn't be passive aggressive.  I'd have no trouble at all telling him why he was getting salad for dinner again and why I stopped buying or baking cookies.

-- Edited by Lawyerlady on Friday 8th of April 2016 04:39:32 PM

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 that's not some solution.  He can just go out to eat--and might take the kid with him to McDonalds.  Shes already not baking cookies--they are buying that stuff.

 

 

-- Edited by huskerbb on Saturday 9th of April 2016 09:58:05 AM

Tinydancer wrote:

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My DH says "Happy wife happy life" and I say "Happy husband happy home". It's really about trying to make each other happy but respecting them even when you disagree.

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 Again, I completely agree with that--but words such as "forbid", phrases such as "put your foot down", and meting out some "punishment" when you don't get your way is NOT respect.

Nah. We used to teach discipline and self control. That actually works alot better than govt mandates.

It's not always about exercise. People always say, "A hundred years ago people were outside all the time and they weren't fat. We just need more exercise!" A hundred years ago we didn't eat the massive amount of processed food we do now. Our flour wasn't processed and bleached and all that other crap. We didn't have Twinkies. Refined sugar was a vary rare thing in the diets then. We didn't put fillers in all our meats. There were no chips and prepackaged cookies. And fast food joints? The ones that were around were a treat. Not a way of life. I'm so tired of hearing people say you just have to play outside for an hour longer every day while they stuff a Twinkie down their pie hole.

huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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vs. OVERT ignoring of your spouse. Telling him directly hasn't worked.

 

And it wouldn't be passive aggressive.  I'd have no trouble at all telling him why he was getting salad for dinner again and why I stopped buying or baking cookies.

-- Edited by Lawyerlady on Friday 8th of April 2016 04:39:32 PM

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 that's not some solution.  He can just go out to eat--and might take the kid with him to McDonalds.  Shes already not baking cookies--they are buying that stuff.

 

 

-- Edited by huskerbb on Saturday 9th of April 2016 09:58:05 AM

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 Well, then, all knowing Husker, what is the grand perfect solution for a dumbass husband that won't listen to reason or care about his child's weight?

weltschmerz wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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It's not always about exercise. People always say, "A hundred years ago people were outside all the time and they weren't fat. We just need more exercise!" A hundred years ago we didn't eat the massive amount of processed food we do now. Our flour wasn't processed and bleached and all that other crap. We didn't have Twinkies. Refined sugar was a vary rare thing in the diets then. We didn't put fillers in all our meats. There were no chips and prepackaged cookies. And fast food joints? The ones that were around were a treat. Not a way of life. I'm so tired of hearing people say you just have to play outside for an hour longer every day while they stuff a Twinkie down their pie hole.

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Yep.

Plus, kids used to play outside...football, street hockey, tag, riding bikes and running around playing cowboys and Indians.

Now they sit on their butts playing video games. It doesn't bode well.

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 Yeah until liberal parents wrapped everyone in bubble wrap and can't even let Johnny out of their sight or allow a dodge ball to Gasp, hit them!  OMG!