TOTALLY GEEKED!

FNW · Guru

RE: Dear Carolyn: Is Son Old Enough to Ride Bike Home from School?

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

FNW wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
FNW wrote:
I wouldn't force my kids to play sports. Horrible. I don't pawn my kids off to after school or weekend activities in the name of exercise. I plan family activities. Let's go swimming. Let's go throw the ball around in the park. I wonder if the snakes are back at Great Falls, let's go for a hike and find out, we'll pack a picnic. Let's go strawberry picking. Let's go to the museum and see the new t-rex exhibit. Let's go to the mall and see if anyone is flying kites.

The boys are involved in taekwondo because they begged. They begged to play little league, until they realized there would be no free time to do family outings or go to amusement parks or use the pool. That might change when they older, but for now, they are content with playing with each other and enjoying family fun.

Some kids are just not athletic, and that should be okay. Self-esteem and teamwork can be established by nurturing the mind, too. There are ways to live an active lifestyle without forcing sports down the throats of the young. I just hate seeing parents do that.

And there's nothing wrong with some binge TV/movie watching on a rainy day. We don't need to be active 24/7. Even kids need some down time.

Sports teach dedication, teamwork, and accountability. They have benefits beyond family trips to the pool.
And I don't care if they are good at it or play it forever, it is still a good experience to have.
And after making DD pick a sport, she chose tennis. She's playing singles and doubles, and LOVES it.
Kids like repetition, stability and routine. You have to make them try new things to find out they will like them.
Just like food.
So does helping with yard work and chores.
Schools today focus on the above. Teaching is geared towards achieving these goals while learning. Tasks are completed in break-out groups where they learn to work together and share ideas. They don't need to sign up for soccer.
We have signed the boys up for tennis lessons and will do golf pretty soon, just to see if they like playing. They do enjoy tennis, and we play tennis as a family. DH will take them golfing when they get lessons if they want. If they want to join the jr. teams when they are older, great. But it's not a requirement in our household.
We did force the boys to have swim lessons, as a safety measure. After a couple seasons, they dreaded it. They hated the routine. They wanted to sleep in and have a relaxing Saturday morning once in awhile. And I don't blame them. Parents put too much on children's plates these days and don't allow kids to be kids. There's a lot to be said for free play where they nurture their creativity.

LOL! Schools don't even have PE everyday anymore. And sitting in a classroom does not teach agility and stamina and teamwork.

If DD tried a sport and hated it, we wouldn't make her continue to play it, but we would make her try something new.

And I don't disagree that kids need downtime, but that doesn't mean no sports.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

If your boys decide they don't want to go to school anymore, you going to homeschool them?

FNW · Guru

Yeah, right. Of course they are required to go to school. That's not the same thing at all. The boys are also required to perform chores at home. No choice. They are also required to do their homework. No choice there. Our schools still have recess, so they get plenty of exercise.

We expose our boys to sports to see if they like it. And if they like it, they can play. But sports are for enjoyment, IMO. And not mandatory.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

FNW wrote:
Yeah, right. Of course they are required to go to school. That's not the same thing at all. The boys are also required to perform chores at home. No choice. They are also required to do their homework. No choice there. Our schools still have recess, so they get plenty of exercise.

We expose our boys to sports to see if they like it. And if they like it, they can play. But sports are for enjoyment, IMO. And not mandatory.

Wait until middle school. That will stop. And with no recess and PE only occasionally, they will need additional exercise.

Sports give a scheduled time for exercise, which is important with busy schedules to make sure it is scheduled in. When you work all day, don't get home until 6, and have to make dinner, make sure homework is done, and everything else life requires, making sure your kid gets exercise at home is not always doable. And weekends are not really enough to instill a habit of physical fitness.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I never played a sport during my school years.

I much prefer exercising alone.

flan

FNW · Guru

I plan to retire when they start middle school. One of the perks of starting a family late in life.

I just disagree that exercise needs to be "scheduled" in if you live an active lifestyle.

Tinydancer · Guru

You still are the one who decides that FNW. Not your boys.

FNW · Guru

flan327 wrote:
I never played a sport during my school years.

I much prefer exercising alone.

flan

Me, too. I hated sports. Still do. I enjoy tennis and swimming. But not enough to compete. Just for enjoyment. But in gym class, I was that girl who would stay in the back so people couldn't watch me. And I'd fake it until the teacher looked at me. My brother wasn't into sports either. Neither of us ever got fat, and we're in our 50's.

It's sad, to me, that people need to "schedule" exercise. What a dredge that would be. It's no wonder kids are fat. What happens when the season ends? Without having an active lifestyle, you get fat. I don't think involvement in sports prevents obesity, either. When we were going to the community pool for swim lessons, the high school swim teams would be there practicing. Guess what. They were all fat. Huge. It was rare to see a slim or even normal sized girl on the team.

Active lifestyles are not scheduled. They are a way of life.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
Whether you or husker would makes NO difference. The kids parent gets to decide no matter what YOU think.

But any reasonable parent will at least consider the child's feelings, age appropriate.

FNW · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Whether you or husker would makes NO difference. The kids parent gets to decide no matter what YOU think.
But any reasonable parent will at least consider the child's feelings, age appropriate.

Yep.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
I've already said he should get to, but that's based upon what the mother wrote and her determination. It has nothing to do with what the kid wants to do.
Of course it factors into the decision.
flan

No. It has absolutely ZERO bearing.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
I've already said he should get to, but that's based upon what the mother wrote and her determination. It has nothing to do with what the kid wants to do.
Of course it factors into the decision.
flan
No, it doesn't. Regardless of what he wants, if the parent doesn't think it is safe, the answer is NO.

Child asks.
Parents weighs safety.
Parent decides.

Parent wants child to ride bike to school.
Child doesn't want to.
Parent forces child.
TWO DIFFERENT SCENARIOS.
flan

Nope. Child does what he is told.

Tinydancer · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Whether you or husker would makes NO difference. The kids parent gets to decide no matter what YOU think.
But any reasonable parent will at least consider the child's feelings, age appropriate.

No one said they wouldn't. Just that it's the parents decision to make. We agree. Unless you disagree with the statement that it's the parents decision.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Whether you or husker would makes NO difference. The kids parent gets to decide no matter what YOU think.
But any reasonable parent will at least consider the child's feelings, age appropriate.

That doesn't mean a kid's feelings about riding his bike home matter if it's not safe. My kid doesn't want to go to school, doesn't want to clean her room, and wouldn't eat a vegetable unless I made her. She also would sit on the couch and do nothing but watch TV unless I made her do other things.

So, NO, a kid's feelings about what they should and shouldn't do don't really matter. Because the are KIDS. And it is the parent's job to make them into responsible, well-rounded adults with common sense, and tools to live a good life.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

We had choices growing up.

Your choice was with or without consequences.

Either way, we did what we were told.

I raised my kids the same.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Whether you or husker would makes NO difference. The kids parent gets to decide no matter what YOU think.
But any reasonable parent will at least consider the child's feelings, age appropriate.

No one said they wouldn't. Just that it's the parents decision to make. We agree. Unless you disagree with the statement that it's the parents decision.

at least one poster has said the child's ideas on the subject don't matter.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Whether you or husker would makes NO difference. The kids parent gets to decide no matter what YOU think.
But any reasonable parent will at least consider the child's feelings, age appropriate.

That doesn't mean a kid's feelings about riding his bike home matter if it's not safe. My kid doesn't want to go to school, doesn't want to clean her room, and wouldn't eat a vegetable unless I made her. She also would sit on the couch and do nothing but watch TV unless I made her do other things.
So, NO, a kid's feelings about what they should and shouldn't do don't really matter. Because the are KIDS. And it is the parent's job to make them into responsible, well-rounded adults with common sense, and tools to live a good life.

Any reasonable parent would take the child's feelings into account, age appropriate.

Tinydancer · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Whether you or husker would makes NO difference. The kids parent gets to decide no matter what YOU think.
But any reasonable parent will at least consider the child's feelings, age appropriate.

No one said they wouldn't. Just that it's the parents decision to make. We agree. Unless you disagree with the statement that it's the parents decision.
at least one poster has said the child's ideas on the subject don't matter.

It doesn't matter if you as the parent don't agree now does it?

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Whether you or husker would makes NO difference. The kids parent gets to decide no matter what YOU think.
But any reasonable parent will at least consider the child's feelings, age appropriate.

That doesn't mean a kid's feelings about riding his bike home matter if it's not safe. My kid doesn't want to go to school, doesn't want to clean her room, and wouldn't eat a vegetable unless I made her. She also would sit on the couch and do nothing but watch TV unless I made her do other things.
So, NO, a kid's feelings about what they should and shouldn't do don't really matter. Because the are KIDS. And it is the parent's job to make them into responsible, well-rounded adults with common sense, and tools to live a good life.
Any reasonable parent would take the child's feelings into account, age appropriate.

Exactly.

We are NOT talking about a 5-year-old who doesn't want to go to the dentist.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

The rule for sports, or any activity, they get a grace period.

Two to three practices or meetings.

If they want to quit at that point, they can.

But, any more than that and they finish the season/show/year. Whatever the duration.

Not raising quitters is important.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
I've already said he should get to, but that's based upon what the mother wrote and her determination. It has nothing to do with what the kid wants to do.
Of course it factors into the decision.
flan
No, it doesn't. Regardless of what he wants, if the parent doesn't think it is safe, the answer is NO.

Child asks.
Parents weighs safety.
Parent decides.

Parent wants child to ride bike to school.
Child doesn't want to.
Parent forces child.
TWO DIFFERENT SCENARIOS.
flan
Nope. Child does what he is told.

In this SPECIFIC case...how sad...

flan

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Whether you or husker would makes NO difference. The kids parent gets to decide no matter what YOU think.
But any reasonable parent will at least consider the child's feelings, age appropriate.

No one said they wouldn't. Just that it's the parents decision to make. We agree. Unless you disagree with the statement that it's the parents decision.
at least one poster has said the child's ideas on the subject don't matter.
It doesn't matter if you as the parent don't agree now does it?

Not all parents are reasonable.

FNW · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Whether you or husker would makes NO difference. The kids parent gets to decide no matter what YOU think.
But any reasonable parent will at least consider the child's feelings, age appropriate.

No one said they wouldn't. Just that it's the parents decision to make. We agree. Unless you disagree with the statement that it's the parents decision.

I try to find out "why" they don't want to do something before making it a requirement. Sometimes there are legitimate reasons. Sure, I ultimately decide, but I prefer my decisions to be informed.

Tinydancer · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Whether you or husker would makes NO difference. The kids parent gets to decide no matter what YOU think.
But any reasonable parent will at least consider the child's feelings, age appropriate.

No one said they wouldn't. Just that it's the parents decision to make. We agree. Unless you disagree with the statement that it's the parents decision.
at least one poster has said the child's ideas on the subject don't matter.
It doesn't matter if you as the parent don't agree now does it?
Not all parents are reasonable.

It doesn't matter. It's still the parents decision. As you like to say deal with what is because what if's don't do squat.

huskerbb · Guru

I'm not saying the kid always gets their way.

"I don't want to go to church?"

"Duly noted, get in the car."

However, the sports one is a good example. Are you going to make them go out for soccer if they prefer softball? Really?

FNW · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
The rule for sports, or any activity, they get a grace period.

Two to three practices or meetings.

If they want to quit at that point, they can.

But, any more than that and they finish the season/show/year. Whatever the duration.

Not raising quitters is important.

We did that with the swim lessons. We reminded them that they were paid for, and they needed to finish the season. After that, we would not sign them up again. It made going much easier, knowing it wasn't forever.

Tinydancer · Guru

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
I've already said he should get to, but that's based upon what the mother wrote and her determination. It has nothing to do with what the kid wants to do.
Of course it factors into the decision.
flan
No, it doesn't. Regardless of what he wants, if the parent doesn't think it is safe, the answer is NO.

Child asks.
Parents weighs safety.
Parent decides.

Parent wants child to ride bike to school.
Child doesn't want to.
Parent forces child.
TWO DIFFERENT SCENARIOS.
flan
Nope. Child does what he is told.

In this SPECIFIC case...how sad...
flan

Why is it sad? Just because you don't agree? Now that's what's sad.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
I've already said he should get to, but that's based upon what the mother wrote and her determination. It has nothing to do with what the kid wants to do.
Of course it factors into the decision.
flan
No, it doesn't. Regardless of what he wants, if the parent doesn't think it is safe, the answer is NO.

Child asks.
Parents weighs safety.
Parent decides.

Parent wants child to ride bike to school.
Child doesn't want to.
Parent forces child.
TWO DIFFERENT SCENARIOS.
flan
Nope. Child does what he is told.

In this SPECIFIC case...how sad...
flan

In EVERYONE case.

And let's not get sidetracked. We are talking about normal, everyday stuff, not some abuse situation.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Whether you or husker would makes NO difference. The kids parent gets to decide no matter what YOU think.
But any reasonable parent will at least consider the child's feelings, age appropriate.

That doesn't mean a kid's feelings about riding his bike home matter if it's not safe. My kid doesn't want to go to school, doesn't want to clean her room, and wouldn't eat a vegetable unless I made her. She also would sit on the couch and do nothing but watch TV unless I made her do other things.
So, NO, a kid's feelings about what they should and shouldn't do don't really matter. Because the are KIDS. And it is the parent's job to make them into responsible, well-rounded adults with common sense, and tools to live a good life.
Any reasonable parent would take the child's feelings into account, age appropriate.

When the decision is about their safety - no, I really don't have to. My 5 year old doesn't want to wear a helmet when she's riding her scooter. Not an option.

There are some things you MAKE your kids do, and don't try to tell me there isn't. That's just dumb.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
I'm not saying the kid always gets their way.

"I don't want to go to church?"

"Duly noted, get in the car."

However, the sports one is a good example. Are you going to make them go out for soccer if they prefer softball? Really?

No - I already said that. I told my kid she had to pick a sport - but let her choose which one. How is that unreasonable parenting?

Tinydancer · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
I'm not saying the kid always gets their way.

"I don't want to go to church?"

"Duly noted, get in the car."

However, the sports one is a good example. Are you going to make them go out for soccer if they prefer softball? Really?

As a parent that is their decision so it really doesn't matter what you or flan think.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Whether you or husker would makes NO difference. The kids parent gets to decide no matter what YOU think.
But any reasonable parent will at least consider the child's feelings, age appropriate.

That doesn't mean a kid's feelings about riding his bike home matter if it's not safe. My kid doesn't want to go to school, doesn't want to clean her room, and wouldn't eat a vegetable unless I made her. She also would sit on the couch and do nothing but watch TV unless I made her do other things.
So, NO, a kid's feelings about what they should and shouldn't do don't really matter. Because the are KIDS. And it is the parent's job to make them into responsible, well-rounded adults with common sense, and tools to live a good life.
Any reasonable parent would take the child's feelings into account, age appropriate.

When the decision is about their safety - no, I really don't have to. My 5 year old doesn't want to wear a helmet when she's riding her scooter. Not an option.
There are some things you MAKE your kids do, and don't try to tell me there isn't. That's just dumb.

Of course there are--but that's not what you were stating.

You said the child's feelings never matter.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I'm not saying the kid always gets their way.

"I don't want to go to church?"

"Duly noted, get in the car."

However, the sports one is a good example. Are you going to make them go out for soccer if they prefer softball? Really?
As a parent that is their decision so it really doesn't matter what you or flan think.

Absurd. Plus, I'm asking YOU.

Tinydancer · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I'm not saying the kid always gets their way.

"I don't want to go to church?"

"Duly noted, get in the car."

However, the sports one is a good example. Are you going to make them go out for soccer if they prefer softball? Really?
As a parent that is their decision so it really doesn't matter what you or flan think.
Absurd. Plus, I'm asking YOU.

What's absurd? I already said that I would take my childs thoughts into consideration but I am not the parent of every child. Are you trying to argue that other parents can't decide for their own children? Now that's absurd...lol

huskerbb · Guru

Also, in this case, one parent thinks it is safe, the other does not. Why does the latter automatically get his way?

FNW · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I'm not saying the kid always gets their way.

"I don't want to go to church?"

"Duly noted, get in the car."

However, the sports one is a good example. Are you going to make them go out for soccer if they prefer softball? Really?
No - I already said that. I told my kid she had to pick a sport - but let her choose which one. How is that unreasonable parenting?

Sooo.....what if they don't want ANY sport? You assume they will sit and watch TV all day, because they would be happy with that. If they do, that's on you, not them. Put them to work or do something with them.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Whether you or husker would makes NO difference. The kids parent gets to decide no matter what YOU think.
But any reasonable parent will at least consider the child's feelings, age appropriate.

That doesn't mean a kid's feelings about riding his bike home matter if it's not safe. My kid doesn't want to go to school, doesn't want to clean her room, and wouldn't eat a vegetable unless I made her. She also would sit on the couch and do nothing but watch TV unless I made her do other things.
So, NO, a kid's feelings about what they should and shouldn't do don't really matter. Because the are KIDS. And it is the parent's job to make them into responsible, well-rounded adults with common sense, and tools to live a good life.
Any reasonable parent would take the child's feelings into account, age appropriate.

When the decision is about their safety - no, I really don't have to. My 5 year old doesn't want to wear a helmet when she's riding her scooter. Not an option.
There are some things you MAKE your kids do, and don't try to tell me there isn't. That's just dumb.
Of course there are--but that's not what you were stating.
You said the child's feelings never matter.

Not when it comes to their safety and what is good for them.

They feel they don't need shots - they are getting them, anyway.

If the mother thought the roads were too dangerous in this situation - his feelings that they are not don't matter.

They want to sit around and watch TV and play video games all the time - nope, doesn't matter, they are going to play.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I'm not saying the kid always gets their way.

"I don't want to go to church?"

"Duly noted, get in the car."

However, the sports one is a good example. Are you going to make them go out for soccer if they prefer softball? Really?
As a parent that is their decision so it really doesn't matter what you or flan think.
Absurd. Plus, I'm asking YOU.
What's absurd? I already said that I would take my childs thoughts into consideration but I am not the parent of every child. Are you trying to argue that other parents can't decide for their own children? Now that's absurd...lol

no, I'm saying that they are not reasonble parents. We've all seen bad parents. The ones who make their kid play baseball when they can't hit a lick and the kid is miserable all summer.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Whether you or husker would makes NO difference. The kids parent gets to decide no matter what YOU think.
But any reasonable parent will at least consider the child's feelings, age appropriate.

That doesn't mean a kid's feelings about riding his bike home matter if it's not safe. My kid doesn't want to go to school, doesn't want to clean her room, and wouldn't eat a vegetable unless I made her. She also would sit on the couch and do nothing but watch TV unless I made her do other things.
So, NO, a kid's feelings about what they should and shouldn't do don't really matter. Because the are KIDS. And it is the parent's job to make them into responsible, well-rounded adults with common sense, and tools to live a good life.
Any reasonable parent would take the child's feelings into account, age appropriate.

When the decision is about their safety - no, I really don't have to. My 5 year old doesn't want to wear a helmet when she's riding her scooter. Not an option.
There are some things you MAKE your kids do, and don't try to tell me there isn't. That's just dumb.
Of course there are--but that's not what you were stating.
You said the child's feelings never matter.
Not when it comes to their safety and what is good for them.
They feel they don't need shots - they are getting them, anyway.
If the mother thought the roads were too dangerous in this situation - his feelings that they are not don't matter.
They want to sit around and watch TV and play video games all the time - nope, doesn't matter, they are going to play.

Again, you didn't have those qualifications in your original posts.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

FNW wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I'm not saying the kid always gets their way.

"I don't want to go to church?"

"Duly noted, get in the car."

However, the sports one is a good example. Are you going to make them go out for soccer if they prefer softball? Really?
No - I already said that. I told my kid she had to pick a sport - but let her choose which one. How is that unreasonable parenting?
Sooo.....what if they don't want ANY sport? You assume they will sit and watch TV all day, because they would be happy with that. If they do, that's on you, not them. Put them to work or do something with them.

So, make them do housework instead of a sport? Yeah, much better. And I WORK full time - I don't have the luxury of spending hours a day exercising my children like dogs.

FNW · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I'm not saying the kid always gets their way.

"I don't want to go to church?"

"Duly noted, get in the car."

However, the sports one is a good example. Are you going to make them go out for soccer if they prefer softball? Really?
As a parent that is their decision so it really doesn't matter what you or flan think.
Absurd. Plus, I'm asking YOU.
What's absurd? I already said that I would take my childs thoughts into consideration but I am not the parent of every child. Are you trying to argue that other parents can't decide for their own children? Now that's absurd...lol
no, I'm saying that they are not reasonble parents. We've all seen bad parents. The ones who make their kid play baseball when they can't hit a lick and the kid is miserable all summer.

YES! OMG! I hate it when parents force their children play sports. Expose them, see what happens and if they even like it. But make them play competitive team sports? Hell no.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Whether you or husker would makes NO difference. The kids parent gets to decide no matter what YOU think.
But any reasonable parent will at least consider the child's feelings, age appropriate.

That doesn't mean a kid's feelings about riding his bike home matter if it's not safe. My kid doesn't want to go to school, doesn't want to clean her room, and wouldn't eat a vegetable unless I made her. She also would sit on the couch and do nothing but watch TV unless I made her do other things.
So, NO, a kid's feelings about what they should and shouldn't do don't really matter. Because the are KIDS. And it is the parent's job to make them into responsible, well-rounded adults with common sense, and tools to live a good life.
Any reasonable parent would take the child's feelings into account, age appropriate.

When the decision is about their safety - no, I really don't have to. My 5 year old doesn't want to wear a helmet when she's riding her scooter. Not an option.
There are some things you MAKE your kids do, and don't try to tell me there isn't. That's just dumb.
Of course there are--but that's not what you were stating.
You said the child's feelings never matter.
Not when it comes to their safety and what is good for them.
They feel they don't need shots - they are getting them, anyway.
If the mother thought the roads were too dangerous in this situation - his feelings that they are not don't matter.
They want to sit around and watch TV and play video games all the time - nope, doesn't matter, they are going to play.
Again, you didn't have those qualifications in your original posts.

The original post by flan said his feelings matter in THIS situation. And they do not.

Tinydancer · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I'm not saying the kid always gets their way.

"I don't want to go to church?"

"Duly noted, get in the car."

However, the sports one is a good example. Are you going to make them go out for soccer if they prefer softball? Really?
As a parent that is their decision so it really doesn't matter what you or flan think.
Absurd. Plus, I'm asking YOU.
What's absurd? I already said that I would take my childs thoughts into consideration but I am not the parent of every child. Are you trying to argue that other parents can't decide for their own children? Now that's absurd...lol
no, I'm saying that they are not reasonble parents. We've all seen bad parents. The ones who make their kid play baseball when they can't hit a lick and the kid is miserable all summer.

So what. Your feelings on the matter don't really change what the parents decide.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Whether you or husker would makes NO difference. The kids parent gets to decide no matter what YOU think.
But any reasonable parent will at least consider the child's feelings, age appropriate.

That doesn't mean a kid's feelings about riding his bike home matter if it's not safe. My kid doesn't want to go to school, doesn't want to clean her room, and wouldn't eat a vegetable unless I made her. She also would sit on the couch and do nothing but watch TV unless I made her do other things.
So, NO, a kid's feelings about what they should and shouldn't do don't really matter. Because the are KIDS. And it is the parent's job to make them into responsible, well-rounded adults with common sense, and tools to live a good life.
Any reasonable parent would take the child's feelings into account, age appropriate.

When the decision is about their safety - no, I really don't have to. My 5 year old doesn't want to wear a helmet when she's riding her scooter. Not an option.
There are some things you MAKE your kids do, and don't try to tell me there isn't. That's just dumb.
Of course there are--but that's not what you were stating.
You said the child's feelings never matter.
Not when it comes to their safety and what is good for them.
They feel they don't need shots - they are getting them, anyway.
If the mother thought the roads were too dangerous in this situation - his feelings that they are not don't matter.
They want to sit around and watch TV and play video games all the time - nope, doesn't matter, they are going to play.
Again, you didn't have those qualifications in your original posts.
The original post by flan said his feelings matter in THIS situation. And they do not.

They do, especially since the parents disagree. Why does dad get to dictate what happens?

Tinydancer · Guru

Who said he did?

huskerbb · Guru

Or, worse, the parent who doesn't let their kid play baseball when they want to because they can't get their beer swilling butt off the couch to take the kid to practice a couple of times a week.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

The experience of playing a sport is part of a well rounded childhood. Do they have to play something they hate? NO. Do they have to play forever? NO. But they have to try new things and try to find something they like.

FNW · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
FNW wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I'm not saying the kid always gets their way.

"I don't want to go to church?"

"Duly noted, get in the car."

However, the sports one is a good example. Are you going to make them go out for soccer if they prefer softball? Really?
No - I already said that. I told my kid she had to pick a sport - but let her choose which one. How is that unreasonable parenting?
Sooo.....what if they don't want ANY sport? You assume they will sit and watch TV all day, because they would be happy with that. If they do, that's on you, not them. Put them to work or do something with them.
So, make them do housework instead of a sport? Yeah, much better. And I WORK full time - I don't have the luxury of spending hours a day exercising my children like dogs.

I work full-time, too. And I'll bet I have quite a few years on you.

Requiring children to contribute to the household chores is not exercising them like dogs. Teaching them to make beds, do laundry, prune bushes (properly), take out the trash, load/unload the dishwasher, cook, etc. That's teaching them to grow into independent individuals who can take care of themselves. A lot more useful than growing up to sit on the couch with one hand in their pants reminiscing about their heyday playing high school football a la Al Bundy.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
Who said he did?

It has to be one or the other. Unless you think dad picking him up at the halfway point is a reasonable compromise.