Q. Perfectionist partner and cooking: My wife happens to be an amazing cook. She recently took a new job that occasionally keeps her out late enough that I cook instead. Which I love! I’m not as good a cook as she is, but I’m OK, and I enjoy it. Problem is that after I serve dinner on those nights, she’ll frequently end up going to the fridge for leftovers of something she cooked and ignoring the meal I made. After a couple weeks of this, I asked if I was doing something wrong. She said she appreciated the gesture and knew that I was trying, but my stuff wasn’t the way she’d have made it, and she prefers her way—hence eating the leftovers. Life’s too short to eat food you don’t like, but I’m kind of hurt and don’t know how to make this better. I want her to have a nice dinner to look forward to when she comes home late, but I also know that no matter how hard I try, I’m never going to be as good at this as she is, and I’m destined to fail if she’s using herself as the standard. Thoughts?
A: Don’t take it personally if she’d rather throw together some leftovers for herself after a long day of work. You’ve just gotten out of kitchen duty a few nights a week. Make something for yourself the nights she comes home late, and enjoy the extra free time.
The only thing I can think of is that maybe she's trying to lose weight and prefers her leftovers to his high calorie, fat-laden, heavy sodium processed meals. And if that were the case, she needs to communicate to him that she will not be home for dinner.
Personally, if there were perfectly good leftovers available and I were not going to be home in time to cook, I would tell DH to eat the leftovers and I'll figure something out (grab a bite on the way home, etc) for myself.
WOW.
I will eat anything the bf cooks for me, up to and including burnt grilled cheese made with american cheese. It is an expression of love, you idiot woman, if you don't like what he cooks make gentle suggestions or send a fun recipe for him to try. Don’t just ignore it!
I know a couple people that imagine themselves gourmet chefs and try and host everything. Like you ask them to a dinner party and they try and get you to move it to their house. Um no hosebeast I want to host my party at my place. Either come or don't.
