TOTALLY GEEKED!

NAOW · Vette's SS

Disciplinary spanking increases childhood defiance and mental health issues

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Well, people need to mind their own business.

karl271 · Guru

Well, I got a few spankings, but always along with an explanation of why I was getting one... Tended to not repeat the behavior that caused the spanking... Just saying.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Well, NAOW, you rebel.

You know how I feel about spanking. If you're bigger & stronger, you can hit those who are smaller than you...

flan

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

If a child has no fear of consequences, the child rules the home. And THAT is not a good thing.

I call BS on this left leaning "study". Maybe they should have studied all the teenagers and young adults in detention centers/prisons first. Those individuals are there because of the lack of discipline and self control they should have learned from their parents. Good parents (those who don't spank) also have kids in those places.

Don't forget, the Sandyhook killer came from a "good" family that did not believe in spanking if I remember right.

Ohfour · Hooker

Total bullschitt...

huskerbb · Guru

Start with a pre-conceived notion of how it "should" turn out in your view--and then make it happen. Classic case of that.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
Start with a pre-conceived notion of how it "should" turn out in your view--and then make it happen. Classic case of that.

And this is NOT the only study to do that, by any means.

flan

Ohfour · Hooker

flan327 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Start with a pre-conceived notion of how it "should" turn out in your view--and then make it happen. Classic case of that.
And this is NOT the only study to do that, by any means.
flan

And yet, there are studies that say the exact opposite...

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

just Czech wrote:
If a child has no fear of consequences, the child rules the home. And THAT is not a good thing.

I call BS on this left leaning "study". Maybe they should have studied all the teenagers and young adults in detention centers/prisons first. Those individuals are there because of the lack of discipline and self control they should have learned from their parents. Good parents (those who don't spank) also have kids in those places.

Don't forget, the Sandyhook killer came from a "good" family that did not believe in spanking if I remember right.

My children always had consequences for their behavior.

And no matter how much you spank a mentally ill person, that doesn't change the way their mind is wired.

flan

-- Edited by flan327 on Wednesday 27th of April 2016 11:12:43 AM

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
just Czech wrote:
If a child has no fear of consequences, the child rules the home. And THAT is not a good thing.

I call BS on this left leaning "study". Maybe they should have studied all the teenagers and young adults in detention centers/prisons first. Those individuals are there because of the lack of discipline and self control they should have learned from their parents. Good parents (those who don't spank) also have kids in those places.

Don't forget, the Sandyhook killer came from a "good" family that did not believe in spanking if I remember right.
My children always had consequences for their behavior.
And no matter how much you spank a mentally ill person, that doesn't change the way their mind is wired.
flan

-- Edited by flan327 on Wednesday 27th of April 2016 11:12:43

Oh FFS, not every child is mentally ill.

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Start with a pre-conceived notion of how it "should" turn out in your view--and then make it happen. Classic case of that.
And this is NOT the only study to do that, by any means.
flan

Maybe not, but it rather debunks this one.

apple · Guru

I don't think you need to hit your children. I never hit my children and they have turned out to be lovely human beings that I am very proud of.

In terms of whether parental aggression (spanking) decreases aggression in the child, the answer is no. In fact, spanking tends to increase child aggression. “Spanking predicted increases in children’s aggression over and above initial levels [of aggressive behavior]” and “in none of these longitudinal studies did spanking predict reductions in children’s aggression over time” (p. 134). Instead, spanking predicted increases in children’s aggression. www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201309/research-spanking-it-s-bad-all-kids

Ohfour · Hooker

Well, I spanked my children and they too have turned into lovely human being that I am very proud of!

huskerbb · Guru

apple wrote:
I don't think you need to hit your children. I never hit my children and they have turned out to be lovely human beings that I am very proud of.

In terms of whether parental aggression (spanking) decreases aggression in the child, the answer is no. In fact, spanking tends to increase child aggression. “Spanking predicted increases in children’s aggression over and above initial levels [of aggressive behavior]” and “in none of these longitudinal studies did spanking predict reductions in children’s aggression over time” (p. 134). Instead, spanking predicted increases in children’s aggression. www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201309/research-spanking-it-s-bad-all-kids

More nonsense.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I know PLENTY of well adjusted people that were spanked as kids.

apple · Guru

Ohfour wrote:
Well, I spanked my children and they too have turned into lovely human being that I am very proud of!

I'm happy for you. I just never found a need to hit my kids.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
I know PLENTY of well adjusted people that were spanked as kids.

I do, too.

I think such studies do a really poor job of differentiating abuse from discipline. Especially since it's a self identified definition.

People who were truLY abused might only identify it as spanking because that's how they view it--even if they are getting the hell beat out of them.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

DD12 was surprised the other day. She said she had never been spanked, and I immediately corrected her. She most certainly was spanked when it was warranted (I didn't spank for much). But since about age 4, I've never had to spank her - she learned. But she doesn't even remember it, let alone is she scarred by it.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

apple wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Well, I spanked my children and they too have turned into lovely human being that I am very proud of!
I'm happy for you. I just never found a need to hit my kids.

I have to agree.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
just Czech wrote:
If a child has no fear of consequences, the child rules the home. And THAT is not a good thing.

I call BS on this left leaning "study". Maybe they should have studied all the teenagers and young adults in detention centers/prisons first. Those individuals are there because of the lack of discipline and self control they should have learned from their parents. Good parents (those who don't spank) also have kids in those places.

Don't forget, the Sandyhook killer came from a "good" family that did not believe in spanking if I remember right.
My children always had consequences for their behavior.
And no matter how much you spank a mentally ill person, that doesn't change the way their mind is wired.
flan

-- Edited by flan327 on Wednesday 27th of April 2016 11:12:43
Oh FFS, not every child is mentally ill.

Czech mentioned Sandy Hook, which is WHY I made that comment.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I never hit my kids.

But I did spank them.

A well place pop on the bottom can make a strong point.

Slapping a hand away as it reached for something hot or dangerous makes a strong point too.

apple · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
I never hit my kids.

But I did spank them.

A well place pop on the bottom can make a strong point.

Slapping a hand away as it reached for something hot or dangerous makes a strong point too.

Hit, spank...same thing IMO. but if it makes you feel better say spank. confuse

Ohfour · Hooker

apple wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I never hit my kids.

But I did spank them.

A well place pop on the bottom can make a strong point.

Slapping a hand away as it reached for something hot or dangerous makes a strong point too.

Hit, spank...same thing IMO. but if it makes you feel better say spank.

Just because you don't understand the difference doesn't mean the rest of us don't. There's even a legal differentiation when it comes to hitting your kids vs spanking your kids.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Spanking doesn't leave a mark.

apple · Guru

You are quite right, I don't see a difference between hitting and spanking.
If you do and it makes you feel okay about hitting your children, who am I to judge. :)

Also the legality of corporal punishment varies quite a bit so I would not be so bold as to assume the legal differentiation is consistent or in favour of hitting children.

The line for what constitutes illegal behavior when it comes to parents striking their children is subject to different rules throughout your country.

apple · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Spanking doesn't leave a mark.

Oh. good to know.... confuse

Ohfour · Hooker

We still have corporal punishment in our schools in my state. And there is not one town/county where spanking is illegal.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

When I tried grounding Jesse, he just said he didn't care. It never phased him. He was perfectly content.

Giving him extra chores didn't work either. He just didn't care.

But pop his bottom and he took notice.

msrock · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
When I tried grounding Jesse, he just said he didn't care. It never phased him. He was perfectly content.

Giving him extra chores didn't work either. He just didn't care.

But pop his bottom and he took notice.

You need to take everything away for a short period of time. The length of that depends on the infraction. And by everything, that means TV/Music/Cell Phone/Car/Computer/Video Games. It's called a TEASPOT. Google teaspot discipline. It's very effective for teens and older kids.

msrock · Guru

Regardless of what many people think, you really can't "control" your kid... but you can control their environment.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

msrock wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
When I tried grounding Jesse, he just said he didn't care. It never phased him. He was perfectly content.

Giving him extra chores didn't work either. He just didn't care.

But pop his bottom and he took notice.

You need to take everything away for a short period of time. The length of that depends on the infraction. And by everything, that means TV/Music/Cell Phone/Car/Computer/Video Games. It's called a TEASPOT. Google teaspot discipline. It's very effective for teens and older kids.

I did. He didn't care.

I haven't had discipline any of my kids with more than eye contact since they were about 5.

Other than an occasional smart mouth, they don't give me any trouble.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Spanking is legal in all 50 states, and in Canada (Section 43 of Canada's criminal code).

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

msrock wrote:
Regardless of what many people think, you really can't "control" your kid... but you can control their environment.

I never wanted to control my kids.

I wanted them to learn to control themselves.

Actually, that's what I'd tell them. That was their warning.

I'd look them square in the eye and in a calm, quiet voice I'd say, either control yourself or I will, and you don't want me to do it.

They'd straighten right up.

msrock · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
msrock wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
When I tried grounding Jesse, he just said he didn't care. It never phased him. He was perfectly content.

Giving him extra chores didn't work either. He just didn't care.

But pop his bottom and he took notice.

You need to take everything away for a short period of time. The length of that depends on the infraction. And by everything, that means TV/Music/Cell Phone/Car/Computer/Video Games. It's called a TEASPOT. Google teaspot discipline. It's very effective for teens and older kids.
I did. He didn't care.
I haven't had discipline any of my kids with more than eye contact since they were about 5.

Other than an occasional smart mouth, they don't give me any trouble.

Ok.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I can't really say too much about their smart mouth.

They got it from me.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Ohfour wrote:
We still have corporal punishment in our schools in my state. And there is not one town/county where spanking is illegal.

Reason #4755 why I would never move to TN.

flan

Ohfour · Hooker

flan327 wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
We still have corporal punishment in our schools in my state. And there is not one town/county where spanking is illegal.
Reason #4755 why I would never move to TN.
flan

Yeah, you would hate it here...you know, not hearing about someone being killed on the news EVERY night. It's just HORRIBLE I tell ya!!!!!

-- Edited by Ohfour on Wednesday 27th of April 2016 02:51:46 PM

Ohfour · Hooker

Lawyerlady wrote:
Spanking is legal in all 50 states, and in Canada (Section 43 of Canada's criminal code).

NO!!!!!!! That's just CAN'T be true!!!!!

msrock · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
msrock wrote:
Regardless of what many people think, you really can't "control" your kid... but you can control their environment.
I never wanted to control my kids.
I wanted them to learn to control themselves.

Actually, that's what I'd tell them. That was their warning.
I'd look them square in the eye and in a calm, quiet voice I'd say, either control yourself or I will, and you don't want me to do it.

They'd straighten right up.

I have a strong willed child. That would never work for him as a 5 year old or as a teenager. My other two children were easy. Not this one.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
I never hit my kids.

But I did spank them.

A well place pop on the bottom can make a strong point.

Slapping a hand away as it reached for something hot or dangerous makes a strong point too.

I don't know ANY parent that would let their child get a serious burn rather than swatting their hand away.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Ohfour wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Spanking is legal in all 50 states, and in Canada (Section 43 of Canada's criminal code).
NO!!!!!!! That's just CAN'T be true!!!!!

Now you're being idiotic.

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
We still have corporal punishment in our schools in my state. And there is not one town/county where spanking is illegal.
Reason #4755 why I would never move to TN.
flan

Hate to tell you this, but your state's law allows it, too!

"Law does not limit right of parent/guardian/custodian to use reasonable corporal punishment when disciplining a child."

In fact, that sounds more open to it than Tennessee's -

"Permits criminal charges against a parent/guardian/custodian who administers "unreasonable" corporal punishment which causes "injury" to the child."

huskerbb · Guru

My favorite saying as a parent:

"Quit that crying or I'll give you something to cry about."

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Here you go - look them all up:

kidjacked.com/legal/spanking_law.asp

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
We still have corporal punishment in our schools in my state. And there is not one town/county where spanking is illegal.
Reason #4755 why I would never move to TN.
flan
Hate to tell you this, but your state's law allows it, too!
"Law does not limit right of parent/guardian/custodian to use reasonable corporal punishment when disciplining a child."

In fact, that sounds more open to it than Tennessee's -
"Permits criminal charges against a parent/guardian/custodian who administers "unreasonable" corporal punishment which causes "injury" to the child."

All I care about is where MY kids went to school.

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
We still have corporal punishment in our schools in my state. And there is not one town/county where spanking is illegal.
Reason #4755 why I would never move to TN.
flan
Hate to tell you this, but your state's law allows it, too!
"Law does not limit right of parent/guardian/custodian to use reasonable corporal punishment when disciplining a child."

In fact, that sounds more open to it than Tennessee's -
"Permits criminal charges against a parent/guardian/custodian who administers "unreasonable" corporal punishment which causes "injury" to the child."

All I care about is where MY kids went to school.
flan

"Custodian" means the school could have. They have have chosen not to, but they could have.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
My favorite saying as a parent:

"Quit that crying or I'll give you something to cry about."

And saying THAT worked?

husker, in my 35+ years of working in library children's rooms, I have heard that A LOT...from inner-city to yuppy suburbs. It has never worked.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
We still have corporal punishment in our schools in my state. And there is not one town/county where spanking is illegal.
Reason #4755 why I would never move to TN.
flan
Hate to tell you this, but your state's law allows it, too!
"Law does not limit right of parent/guardian/custodian to use reasonable corporal punishment when disciplining a child."

In fact, that sounds more open to it than Tennessee's -
"Permits criminal charges against a parent/guardian/custodian who administers "unreasonable" corporal punishment which causes "injury" to the child."

All I care about is where MY kids went to school.
flan
"Custodian" means the school could have. They have have chosen not to, but they could have.

Yes, I understand English.

I never heard of any of my sons' friends being physically punished.

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

You bashed a state because it allows corporal punishment when your own state is even more lenient.

TOTALLY GEEKED!

Negative outcomes of spanking comparable to child abuse