TOTALLY GEEKED!

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

RE: Disciplinary spanking increases childhood defiance and mental health issues

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

chef wrote:
flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Some of us prefer our children learn to avoid danger quickly and simply rather than have them potentially hurt themselves badly.

The swatting of the hand to avoid getting a burn? Same principle. If you've ever slapped a hand away - you have no business judging spanking - because according to your definition, it's still hitting.
Yep, exactly.
Which is exactly what I said to Flan and she accused me of twisting her words.
Do I need to post the definition of "spanking" again?
flan
Why? So you can prove my point? I'll save you some time and post it myself.
From Google: spanking: an act of slapping, especially on the buttocks as a punishment for children.
Instead of deflecting, explain how I twisted your words. I don't appreciate you lying about my actions. You have equated spanking with hitting many, many times on this board. You acknowledge that a parent shouldn't just let their kid get burned even though they'd have to slap their hand away. I asked if you were admitting that, in some cases, physical punishment is merited. You accused me of twisting your words and you failed to state how I did so.

I "lied" about your actions?

What if you GRAB their hand? Or PULL their hand?

You want me to agree that if "physical punishment" is merited in the case of extreme danger, then it is merited at other times as well. That's what I meant by "twisting my words." Period.

Does a parent have the right to spank their child? Within reason. Do I have the right to disagree???

flan

chef · Guru

flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Some of us prefer our children learn to avoid danger quickly and simply rather than have them potentially hurt themselves badly.

The swatting of the hand to avoid getting a burn? Same principle. If you've ever slapped a hand away - you have no business judging spanking - because according to your definition, it's still hitting.
Yep, exactly.
Which is exactly what I said to Flan and she accused me of twisting her words.
Do I need to post the definition of "spanking" again?
flan
Why? So you can prove my point? I'll save you some time and post it myself.
From Google: spanking: an act of slapping, especially on the buttocks as a punishment for children.
Instead of deflecting, explain how I twisted your words. I don't appreciate you lying about my actions. You have equated spanking with hitting many, many times on this board. You acknowledge that a parent shouldn't just let their kid get burned even though they'd have to slap their hand away. I asked if you were admitting that, in some cases, physical punishment is merited. You accused me of twisting your words and you failed to state how I did so.
I "lied" about your actions?
What if you GRAB their hand? Or PULL their hand?
You want me to agree that if "physical punishment" is merited in the case of extreme danger, then it is merited at other times as well. That's what I meant by "twisting my words." Period.
Does a parent have the right to spank their child? Within reason. Do I have the right to disagree???
flan

Yes, you did. I did not twist your words.

Grabbing or pulling a hand is not punishment.

No, I don't want you to agree that it's merited at other times just because it's merited in cases of extreme danger. I asked if you were admitting that it is sometimes merited. There is a difference.

I don't know why you're asking me if you have the right to disagree. I don't control that. However, you should be consistent. If you feel spanking is hitting and hitting is wrong then slapping a hand is wrong too since it's hitting. But, your post indicated hitting is ok in some cases.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

chef wrote:
flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Some of us prefer our children learn to avoid danger quickly and simply rather than have them potentially hurt themselves badly.

The swatting of the hand to avoid getting a burn? Same principle. If you've ever slapped a hand away - you have no business judging spanking - because according to your definition, it's still hitting.
Yep, exactly.
Which is exactly what I said to Flan and she accused me of twisting her words.
Do I need to post the definition of "spanking" again?
flan
Why? So you can prove my point? I'll save you some time and post it myself.
From Google: spanking: an act of slapping, especially on the buttocks as a punishment for children.
Instead of deflecting, explain how I twisted your words. I don't appreciate you lying about my actions. You have equated spanking with hitting many, many times on this board. You acknowledge that a parent shouldn't just let their kid get burned even though they'd have to slap their hand away. I asked if you were admitting that, in some cases, physical punishment is merited. You accused me of twisting your words and you failed to state how I did so.
I "lied" about your actions?
What if you GRAB their hand? Or PULL their hand?
You want me to agree that if "physical punishment" is merited in the case of extreme danger, then it is merited at other times as well. That's what I meant by "twisting my words." Period.
Does a parent have the right to spank their child? Within reason. Do I have the right to disagree???
flan
Yes, you did. I did not twist your words.
Grabbing or pulling a hand is not punishment.
No, I don't want you to agree that it's merited at other times just because it's merited in cases of extreme danger. I asked if you were admitting that it is sometimes merited. There is a difference.
I don't know why you're asking me if you have the right to disagree. I don't control that. However, you should be consistent. If you feel spanking is hitting and hitting is wrong then slapping a hand is wrong too since it's hitting. But, your post indicated hitting is ok in some cases.

Your "logic" gives me a headache.

Preventing an accident is not the same as punishing a child.

flan

chef · Guru

Can't help it if you have a problem with simple logic. If you consider spanking to be hitting and you say hitting is wrong then it follows that it is also wrong to slap a hand since slapping is hitting too.

Of course preventing an accident isn't the same as punishing a child. Haven't read any posts that posited that.

apple · Guru

Pushing someone out of the way of a speeding truck vs pushing someone into the path of a speeding truck. Pushing is pushing, its about INTENTIONS.

chef · Guru

apple wrote:
Pushing someone out of the way of a speeding truck vs pushing someone into the path of a speeding truck. Pushing is pushing, its about INTENTIONS.

Which is exactly the point I am making to Flan.

Hitting is hitting. Intentions do matter, obviously.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

chef wrote:
apple wrote:
Pushing someone out of the way of a speeding truck vs pushing someone into the path of a speeding truck. Pushing is pushing, its about INTENTIONS.
Which is exactly the point I am making to Flan.
Hitting is hitting. Intentions do matter, obviously.

No, the point you're trying to make is that I'm wrong.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
apple wrote:
Pushing someone out of the way of a speeding truck vs pushing someone into the path of a speeding truck. Pushing is pushing, its about INTENTIONS.
Which is exactly the point I am making to Flan.
Hitting is hitting. Intentions do matter, obviously.
No, the point you're trying to make is that I'm wrong.
flan

That point has been made so many times, we've lost count.

chef · Guru

flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
apple wrote:
Pushing someone out of the way of a speeding truck vs pushing someone into the path of a speeding truck. Pushing is pushing, its about INTENTIONS.
Which is exactly the point I am making to Flan.
Hitting is hitting. Intentions do matter, obviously.
No, the point you're trying to make is that I'm wrong.
flan

Nope. But nice try.

Not my fault you made a post that was inconsistent with your previous posts on the subject.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

chef wrote:
flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
apple wrote:
Pushing someone out of the way of a speeding truck vs pushing someone into the path of a speeding truck. Pushing is pushing, its about INTENTIONS.
Which is exactly the point I am making to Flan.
Hitting is hitting. Intentions do matter, obviously.
No, the point you're trying to make is that I'm wrong.
flan
Nope. But nice try.
Not my fault you made a post that was inconsistent with your previous posts on the subject.

You know EXACTLY what I meant.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
apple wrote:
Pushing someone out of the way of a speeding truck vs pushing someone into the path of a speeding truck. Pushing is pushing, its about INTENTIONS.
Which is exactly the point I am making to Flan.
Hitting is hitting. Intentions do matter, obviously.
No, the point you're trying to make is that I'm wrong.
flan
That point has been made so many times, we've lost count.

YOU are the only one "counting." Other posters have more important ways to spend their time...

flan

chef · Guru

flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
apple wrote:
Pushing someone out of the way of a speeding truck vs pushing someone into the path of a speeding truck. Pushing is pushing, its about INTENTIONS.
Which is exactly the point I am making to Flan.
Hitting is hitting. Intentions do matter, obviously.
No, the point you're trying to make is that I'm wrong.
flan
Nope. But nice try.
Not my fault you made a post that was inconsistent with your previous posts on the subject.
You know EXACTLY what I meant.
flan

No, Flan. I know what you typed.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Good for you, chef. We BOTH know what I meant.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Chef, Flan has admitted her word means absolutely nothing. So, of course, no one can know what she means.

chef · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Good for you, chef. We BOTH know what I meant.

flan

Again, no, I do not know what you mean. That is why I asked a question to clarify your meaning.

Is there a reason you insist on presuming to know myself better than I do?

chef · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Chef, Flan has admitted her word means absolutely nothing. So, of course, no one can know what she means.

According to her, I know what she means. Except I don't. *shrug*

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

chef wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Chef, Flan has admitted her word means absolutely nothing. So, of course, no one can know what she means.
According to her, I know what she means. Except I don't. *shrug*

Lily wouldn't know a joke if it walked up and introduced itself to her.

And I have posted with you long enough to know how you operate, chef (at least where I am concerned).

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Chef, Flan has admitted her word means absolutely nothing. So, of course, no one can know what she means.
According to her, I know what she means. Except I don't. *shrug*
Lily wouldn't know a joke if it walked up and introduced itself to her.
And I have posted with you long enough to know how you operate, chef (at least where I am concerned).
flan

I laugh at you a lot.

chef · Guru

flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Chef, Flan has admitted her word means absolutely nothing. So, of course, no one can know what she means.
According to her, I know what she means. Except I don't. *shrug*
Lily wouldn't know a joke if it walked up and introduced itself to her.
And I have posted with you long enough to know how you operate, chef (at least where I am concerned).
flan

No reason to attack Lily. If you weren't so intent on making digs against Lily, you would see all the jokes she does post.

How I operate? Where you're concerned? I treat you the same as everyone else. You're the only one who goes on the defensive when I ask a question. What is your problem?

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

See, there's this stick. And it's stuck.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Chef, Flan has admitted her word means absolutely nothing. So, of course, no one can know what she means.
According to her, I know what she means. Except I don't. *shrug*
Lily wouldn't know a joke if it walked up and introduced itself to her.
And I have posted with you long enough to know how you operate, chef (at least where I am concerned).
flan
I laugh at you a lot.

Ditto.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

chef wrote:
flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Chef, Flan has admitted her word means absolutely nothing. So, of course, no one can know what she means.
According to her, I know what she means. Except I don't. *shrug*
Lily wouldn't know a joke if it walked up and introduced itself to her.
And I have posted with you long enough to know how you operate, chef (at least where I am concerned).
flan
No reason to attack Lily. If you weren't so intent on making digs against Lily, you would see all the jokes she does post.
How I operate? Where you're concerned? I treat you the same as everyone else. You're the only one who goes on the defensive when I ask a question. What is your problem?

You can't even be honest with yourself...

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Flan questioning another's honesty????

Come on! You said yourself that your word means nothing.

Talk about rich!

chef · Guru

flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Chef, Flan has admitted her word means absolutely nothing. So, of course, no one can know what she means.
According to her, I know what she means. Except I don't. *shrug*
Lily wouldn't know a joke if it walked up and introduced itself to her.
And I have posted with you long enough to know how you operate, chef (at least where I am concerned).
flan
No reason to attack Lily. If you weren't so intent on making digs against Lily, you would see all the jokes she does post.
How I operate? Where you're concerned? I treat you the same as everyone else. You're the only one who goes on the defensive when I ask a question. What is your problem?
You can't even be honest with yourself...
flan

I am being honest with myself. Quit lying about me and my actions.

Assassinating my character just because you can't handle being asked a question is disgusting behavior.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

chef wrote:
flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Chef, Flan has admitted her word means absolutely nothing. So, of course, no one can know what she means.
According to her, I know what she means. Except I don't. *shrug*
Lily wouldn't know a joke if it walked up and introduced itself to her.
And I have posted with you long enough to know how you operate, chef (at least where I am concerned).
flan
No reason to attack Lily. If you weren't so intent on making digs against Lily, you would see all the jokes she does post.
How I operate? Where you're concerned? I treat you the same as everyone else. You're the only one who goes on the defensive when I ask a question. What is your problem?
You can't even be honest with yourself...
flan
I am being honest with myself. Quit lying about me and my actions.
Assassinating my character just because you can't handle being asked a question is disgusting behavior.

WHAT I SAID was that you do NOT treat me the same as everyone else.

I know the reason why & it is not true. You've been told that.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
Flan questioning another's honesty????

Come on! You said yourself that your word means nothing.

Talk about rich!

Okay, see if you can figure this out.

It's a four-letter word: starts with a "j" and ends with an "e."

The middle two letters are "o" and "k."

flan

chef · Guru

flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Chef, Flan has admitted her word means absolutely nothing. So, of course, no one can know what she means.
According to her, I know what she means. Except I don't. *shrug*
Lily wouldn't know a joke if it walked up and introduced itself to her.
And I have posted with you long enough to know how you operate, chef (at least where I am concerned).
flan
No reason to attack Lily. If you weren't so intent on making digs against Lily, you would see all the jokes she does post.
How I operate? Where you're concerned? I treat you the same as everyone else. You're the only one who goes on the defensive when I ask a question. What is your problem?
You can't even be honest with yourself...
flan
I am being honest with myself. Quit lying about me and my actions.
Assassinating my character just because you can't handle being asked a question is disgusting behavior.
WHAT I SAID was that you do NOT treat me the same as everyone else.
I know the reason why & it is not true. You've been told that.
flan

I know what you said and I responded to it.

You are wrong. I do treat you the same as everyone else. But y'know what, your opinion doesn't affect my life. God knows I'm speaking the truth and His opinion of me is the only one I care about.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Then we're done.

flan

chef · Guru

Yep. And you're still wrong

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Guilt is a powerful motivator.

Makes people jump to all kinds of conclusions even when not intended.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Flan questioning another's honesty????

Come on! You said yourself that your word means nothing.

Talk about rich!
Okay, see if you can figure this out.
It's a four-letter word: starts with a "j" and ends with an "e."
The middle two letters are "o" and "k."
flan

But, how do I know that? You said you words mean nothing.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Flan questioning another's honesty????

Come on! You said yourself that your word means nothing.

Talk about rich!
Okay, see if you can figure this out.
It's a four-letter word: starts with a "j" and ends with an "e."
The middle two letters are "o" and "k."
flan

It's well established that you have a very different idea of a joke than everyone else.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Yes, but after TELLING her THREE times that it was a joke, you'd think it might sink in...

flan

Tinydancer · Guru

She just didn't believe you. Many of us find it very difficult to believe any thing you say.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Tinydancer wrote:
She just didn't believe you. Many of us find it very difficult to believe any thing you say.

Ditto, Sweetums.

flan

Tinydancer · Guru

I don't lie. I tell the truth and I'm pretty sure you hate that...lol

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Do you really see yourself that way? That's just sad...

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

That makes no sense.

apple · Guru

Question for the hitters/spankers out there.

At what age do you stop hitting/spanking?

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

apple wrote:
Question for the hitters/spankers out there.

At what age do you stop hitting/spanking?

Can't remember the last time I spanked DD12. She can't, either. Maybe......3? By that time, just the threat of a spanking stopped the behavior.

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

Lawyerlady wrote:
apple wrote:
Question for the hitters/spankers out there.

At what age do you stop hitting/spanking?
Can't remember the last time I spanked DD12. She can't, either. Maybe......3? By that time, just the threat of a spanking stopped the behavior.

Mine got a swat on the bottom, (Conor was the only one of mine, that got a swat, more than once. Mere and Paul were less head strong.)

By the time he turned 4, there were punishments that worked better. (No TV, take away a toy, etc.)

A swat on the bum, gets their attention. You shouldn't do it very often. IMHO.

And, by the time they are 4 or 5, it shouldn't be necessary. Again, JMHO.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

apple wrote:
Question for the hitters/spankers out there.

At what age do you stop hitting/spanking?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
apple wrote:
Question for the hitters/spankers out there.

At what age do you stop hitting/spanking?

I rarely spanked. It was only on rare occasions. I don't think it is effective before age 2 or 3. Around then, maybe a small swat on the butt. I think then you can spank if you choose to about age 10 or so. However, i would not be opposed to a teen getting a good whack on the behind if really needed.

huskerbb · Guru

Teenagers are too old to spank.

I know it's often tempting because they can be jerks, but at that point, a good whack on the behind is hardly effective, and, in some cases, a teenager could be a physical match or more for the parent, especially a teenage boy vs. mom.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Don't remember.

I never used it very often.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

I am probably going to get flamed for this but I don't care.

When DD was 16, her father got a job in another state and we stayed behind for 2 years so she could finish up high school. She gave me a hard time in those 2 years. She defied my authority, was rude, and fought with me over nothing. One day I was over it. We were in the grocery store and I asked her to go to the next aisle and get some juice boxes. She rolled her eyes and said something rude, I don't remember what. I slapped her face. Right in the aisle. She earned it and she knew it. She looked at me with a shocked look that I had never seen before. She went and got the juice boxes and her attitude was noticeably improved after that. And until DH and the rest of us lived in the same house again, she didn't give me much of a fight in anything again and was much nicer.

We have talked about that incident recently. Her memory of it matches mine almost to the tee. She says she earned that slap and she had it coming. She also says she isn't sure why it took me so long. She thanks me often for being the kind of parent I was and says she thinks we did an amazing job. So she isn't exactly scarred for life.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

And during that time when she was being rude and defying my authority, I took away privliges. I grounded her. I once removed everything from her room that plugged in and made her earn it all back item by item. Each of those worked for a time. But nothing worked long term like that slap. She knew she had taken it too far and she wasn't going to push me after that.

Ohfour · Hooker

huskerbb wrote:
Teenagers are too old to spank.

I know it's often tempting because they can be jerks, but at that point, a good whack on the behind is hardly effective, and, in some cases, a teenager could be a physical match or more for the parent, especially a teenage boy vs. mom.

The last time I spanked my DD she was 16. She spent the night away at a place we didn't condone. I told her 3 swatts, with a paddle or a summer without a cell phone. She took the swatts. That was the absolute last time I had to punish her....

Ohfour · Hooker

And DS...he was 15. Took his little ass to juvie as an unruly child. He knew I was serious . That was the last time he before he said "yes ma'am". He's toted the line ever since. Mama dont play