Dear Prudence, Two months ago, my husband and I had our first baby. It’s exhausting and wonderful, but here’s the problem. I notice that sex doesn’t feel the same. I’ve gotten “looser,” and I practically had to force my husband to admit that he notices a difference, too. This is devastating. My entire life I never enjoyed sex, until I met my husband. Our sex life was amazing, and I finally felt what everyone was talking about. Now, it just feels like nothing. When I talk to my friends, they call him a jerk and say that he should “appreciate” that I made him a daughter. My doctors, too, seem to blame my husband for saying something so awful, but no one actually admits that childbirth does stretch you out. It’s not a matter of emotions or “understanding.” Friction is friction. 1) What do we do? I want our sex life back. 2) Why do no mothers/doctors talk about the effects of birth on the vagina? 3) Why does everyone blame the husband? Please help.
—Childbirth Ruined Sex
If you tell your doctor you have concerns about your sex life after childbirth and their response is to say your husband is a jerk, you should find a different doctor. I am not qualified to tell you the long- and short-term effects of childbirth on your body, or whether Kegels or various medical treatments would be more helpful. But your doctor(s) are. As long as you are making clear that this issue is important to you, not just him (you are, aren’t you?). Two months is not that long for your body to have recovered from something as physically traumatic as childbirth. What I am qualified to do is advise you to find a better gynecologist, one who listens to you and takes your concerns seriously.
She had to "force" her husband to admit he notices a difference. In reality, he probably didn't notice or care. But, now that she said, oh our sex life is crap, now he probably does notice.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I have never understood women who gripe about the changes their bodies went through during pregnancy and childbirth. Growing and birthing a human is going to take its toll on your body.
And forcing her husband to admit he didn't the change in her vagina? Really? How about not looking for trouble?
