I am sure there are times when you don’t happen to like another fellow girl friend of yours for no particular reason. Or as you grow up you realize that friendship with girls might be fun and involve those shopping sprees and parties ,but you often feel judged or at constant battle with each other. Girls make good friends but they have clear cut boundaries and dual dealings. This article is a sane take on the way girls are cut to be the way are, not like the presence of female company around them,
I grew up surrounded by lots of friends but a huge group of them comprised of the guys. Not that I was a tomboy or something, I naturally jelled more with the boy gang. With them around, I never had to bother about my plaits being in place, my frocks neat or mind my playthings. They were easy, not pretentious and not bitchy. As I grew up, I realized things hadn’t changed much. In fact the camaraderie I share with the guys was simple and hassle-free. Sometimes they treat you as one of them, but surprisingly you feel comfortable in your own skin with them around.
Out of the blue, one fine day I suddenly wondered why I hung out more with the guys. Then I got my answer. Except the few close ones, girls didn’t maybe like me that much and the feeling was mutual. Set me thinking to one of life’s most common yet unanswered questions, Why don’t girls don’t get along with the other girls? Of course we have our most of our BFFs as girls only, but like generally in our hearts of hearts we just can’t appreciate another female friendly species?
If bro-mance rules so should sis-mance?
1. They get threatened:
One of the reasons girls don’t adore each other is because they get threatened by each other. One who visits her husband’s boss for dinner sees how well his wife cooks; the other gets threatened by the boyfriend’s best friend whom he spends a lot of time with. Others just get threatened by the way her friend shares a great rapport with her dad and she doesn’t. So she doesn’t like the women that she feels threatened by.
2. They get all green-eyed.
”Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive.” Havelock Ellis
Women are those green eyed monsters that are born that way. They can’t help getting all worked up if your house is cleaner than theirs or your waist line smaller than theirs. So simple you got something that makes them think of the J word.
3. They can’t tolerate why all guys like you.
You may be one of the guys. You may be the super-feminine type or may be the head girl. If you are always seen with the guys, they can’t seem to like you. You will be that bitch who always hangs out with the guys in her sweatpants or entice them with your girly woes.
4. They want to be what they can’t be.
You are the cheerleader while they can’t even do a simple leg movement. You excel at debates and they can’t talk to a bunch of people. You fit lovely into that slender black dress while they would never have dreamt of it. Sadly, girls never value what they already have and are too busy trying to be someone else.
5. They love to hate you.
They might not even know you, but if you are new at school, or work, they are absolutely judgmental about anyone that they don’t know especially in a negative sort of way. That’s the thing they love, to hate the other girls that are not one of them.
6. They are used to being the center of attraction.
As women we can’t share our moment of glory. We are used to be the centre stage and once we have somebody stealing the show, we hate them immediately. Might be a beautiful girl has joined the new term, gym or just a stranger walking on the street. If heads turn in that direction, they will surely be hated no matter what.
7. They can’t stand candidness.
There might be someone who may not be sweet-tongued like the way girls usually are. Someone who is too in-the-face for a girl. Girls usually like sugar coating their talk so if you can’t seem do that, chances are there they would not like you.
8. They are always in competitive mode.
From comparing to the prices of the dresses you got last week to who has the redder apples or better curtains in the house, girls are born to compete with each other. Even for trivial things that you are an ounce better, they would not like you.
9. They are always self-conscious.
Women, unlike men, are self-conscious about everything that they have. From the money they are making, to the brands they are wearing, to the way they look while they work out, they are at constant war with their inner self. Some use this to get better each day while others compare this self consciousness with the way how other girls are putting up, only to hate them even more.
10. They are addicted to gossiping.
A new girl at work, a new neighbor, or just a hot girl you saw at the movies with your so-called friend, women and gossip have an everlasting bond. Women love gossiping about other women, about their clothes, makeup, walking style, lame boyfriends, or unnecessary tantrums.
11. They are made to believe all their life, to protect what’s theirs.
The way a woman looks at your man in a party, the way your friends talk about your boyfriend, women know what belongs to them is theirs. Period. Any fear on encroachment by another in her territory would be met with resentment and hatred.
Lastly, women make wonderful lovers, wives, friends, mothers, daughters and companions. But the kind of stuff she has seen while growing up might not have been exactly great. Except her mother most women in her life, her aunts, cousins, sisters, classmates had always been judgmental to the way she talks, dresses or looks. It’s sometimes not the boys but the other women in our lives to an extent are responsible for our conditioning. The rest, they say, is genes; women may like other women but never be too fond of them, they are made that way.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
There might be someone who may not be sweet-tongued like the way girls usually are. Someone who is too in-the-face for a girl. Girls usually like sugar coating their talk so if you can’t seem do that, chances are there they would not like you. Frankly, it's insulting to assume that "girls" can't handle honesty.
Like I said. You pretending you do nothing wrong is NOT honesty. You think you don't do the exact same thing to lily? Pathetic. As to the article being honest and being a bitch can certainly be one and the same.
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“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.” ― Julia Child ―
It is possible to be honest without being a bitch. That whole "I'm just telling it like it is" excuse is just a justification for being a bitch. Now, of course, it's a tad different on a message board than in real life. Writing does not allow for tone and expression.
But I'm finding it more and more disgusting when people tout honestly only when it suits them or they want to poke at others.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Back to the article - I think jealousy is one of the biggest issues.
Some women are very jealous of what others have, be it a successful marriage, a good job, a peppy personality, kids who love and respect them, money, or a good body.
It's petty, but for some, they are so miserable, all they can focus on is what they don't have instead of what they do, and they direct ire to those that have what they don't.
Women should be able to be happy for others instead of constantly tearing them down. I'm glad we have many women on this board who are genuinely happy for others when they have a good time, get good news, have happy times, or just buy a new purse!
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Back to the article - I think jealousy is one of the biggest issues.
Some women are very jealous of what others have, be it a successful marriage, a good job, a peppy personality, kids who love and respect them, money, or a good body.
It's petty, but for some, they are so miserable, all they can focus on is what they don't have instead of what they do, and they direct ire to those that have what they don't.
Women should be able to be happy for others instead of constantly tearing them down. I'm glad we have many women on this board who are genuinely happy for others when they have a good time, get good news, have happy times, or just buy a new purse!
That's all well & good, but you forgot to mention that they have to be virtually carbon copies of each other.
Back to the article - I think jealousy is one of the biggest issues.
Some women are very jealous of what others have, be it a successful marriage, a good job, a peppy personality, kids who love and respect them, money, or a good body.
It's petty, but for some, they are so miserable, all they can focus on is what they don't have instead of what they do, and they direct ire to those that have what they don't.
Women should be able to be happy for others instead of constantly tearing them down. I'm glad we have many women on this board who are genuinely happy for others when they have a good time, get good news, have happy times, or just buy a new purse!
That's all well & good, but you forgot to mention that they have to be virtually carbon copies of each other.
flan
That's what you see? That says a lot. There are a lot of unique, wonderful personalities on this board. I certainly don't agree with everything in ANYONE on this board - not one single person. But I don't have to. I can respect the differences.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Yes, flan, why don't you tell us all what is wrong with the majority of the women on this board.
And then you can pretend to wonder some more why so many of them don't like you.
I didn't say that & you know it.
flan
Women should be able to be happy for others instead of constantly tearing them down.I'm glad we have many women on this board who are genuinely happy for others when they have a good time, get good news, have happy times, or just buy a new purse!
That's all well & good, but you forgot to mention that they have to be virtually carbon copies of each other.
flan
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
My closest friends, from whom I receive the most support, are quite different from me. People scratch their heads when they see us out and about.
Same here.
I have a few very close friends. They range from ultra-conservative to the ultra-liberal flower child. I love them all for WHO they are, not what they are.
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I drink coffee so I don't kill you.
I quilt so I don't kill you.
Do you see a theme?
Faith isn't something that keeps bad things from happening. Faith is what helps us get through bad things when they do happen.
My closest friends, from whom I receive the most support, are quite different from me. People scratch their heads when they see us out and about.
Same here.
I have a few very close friends. They range from ultra-conservative to the ultra-liberal flower child. I love them all for WHO they are, not what they are.
Mine, too! I have friends that I've kept for decades from every stage of my life, and that I've met in different places that I've lived. Our differences are just as important as our similarities - they allow you to complement each other and learn from each other and have real discussions, allowing you to see different perspectives.
I can't imagine how boring it would be to only get along with "yes" people all the time. Of course, it requires love and respect to work, but we have that.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
My closest friends, from whom I receive the most support, are quite different from me. People scratch their heads when they see us out and about.
Same here.
I have a few very close friends. They range from ultra-conservative to the ultra-liberal flower child. I love them all for WHO they are, not what they are.
Mine, too! I have friends that I've kept for decades from every stage of my life, and that I've met in different places that I've lived. Our differences are just as important as our similarities - they allow you to complement each other and learn from each other and have real discussions, allowing you to see different perspectives.
I can't imagine how boring it would be to only get along with "yes" people all the time. Of course, it requires love and respect to work, but we have that.
My closest friends, from whom I receive the most support, are quite different from me. People scratch their heads when they see us out and about.
Same here.
I have a few very close friends. They range from ultra-conservative to the ultra-liberal flower child. I love them all for WHO they are, not what they are.
Mine, too! I have friends that I've kept for decades from every stage of my life, and that I've met in different places that I've lived. Our differences are just as important as our similarities - they allow you to complement each other and learn from each other and have real discussions, allowing you to see different perspectives.
I can't imagine how boring it would be to only get along with "yes" people all the time. Of course, it requires love and respect to work, but we have that.
Yes.
Ditto!
__________________
I drink coffee so I don't kill you.
I quilt so I don't kill you.
Do you see a theme?
Faith isn't something that keeps bad things from happening. Faith is what helps us get through bad things when they do happen.
Three of us went to Vegas years ago. We joked about our differences...especially our tastes in men. I think our differences helped us get along. No one was trying to vie for the same guy.
Three of us went to Vegas years ago. We joked about our differences...especially our tastes in men. I think our differences helped us get along. No one was trying to vie for the same guy.
one of the things about my lady that seems to irritate a lot of women AND men is that she's just so settled and centered with who and where she is in this life--my shrink sibling describes my lady as one " who doesn't relate in an approval-seeking manner. "
" she's friendly ( my lady ) and genuine and many folks don't ( or can't ) appreciate who/what they're dealing with. "
one of the very many things about her that i've always loved yet it has often caused friction with many of her colleagues/friends
(female AND male)
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" the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. "--edmund burke
Back to the article - I think jealousy is one of the biggest issues.
Some women are very jealous of what others have, be it a successful marriage, a good job, a peppy personality, kids who love and respect them, money, or a good body.
It's petty, but for some, they are so miserable, all they can focus on is what they don't have instead of what they do, and they direct ire to those that have what they don't.
Women should be able to be happy for others instead of constantly tearing them down. I'm glad we have many women on this board who are genuinely happy for others when they have a good time, get good news, have happy times, or just buy a new purse!
I agree, completely.
Some women need to focus on their own lives and not so much on others.
one of the things about my lady that seems to irritate a lot of women AND men is that she's just so settled and centered with who and where she is in this life--my shrink sibling describes my lady as one " who doesn't relate in an approval-seeking manner. "
" she's friendly ( my lady ) and genuine and many folks don't ( or can't ) appreciate who/what they're dealing with. "
one of the very many things about her that i've always loved yet it has often caused friction with many of her colleagues/friends (female AND male)
Oh, yes, burns. For some women who care so much about certain things, the women who don't care are annoying! I have to say that I'm rather like your wife, I just don't care about appearances, or getting approval from others for my own life and choices.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I didn't have the opportunity to have a lot of female friends until I went to school, and then it was limited.
I grew up with only one house next door and it had 4 boys living there.
It has always been easier to make friends with boys because that was what I knew most.
I had 2 female cousins and we were close. All the rest were guys.
I met my best friends in the 8th grade. Lisa and Deonna and I were always together. If you saw one of us, the other two were near by.
I think the biggest enemy of anyone, but especially women, is insecurity.
And honestly, I just can not deal with insecure people.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Its nice that you have no insecurities Lily.
I know that over the years I have been on message boards I have seen a lot of, mostly women, who are on the prowl for male attention. I suppose that is due to insecurity.
Always around guys, I was never treated as less. The opposite actually.
And I have the scars to prove it.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I embrace my feminism. I like to have doors held for me. I like to have my car door opened. I like being treated like a queen. I don't want to be treated like one of the boys...
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Me, too, ohfour. Sadly, there are only a few men at my office who still do that. Those are the real men. The others...well....they are gay. But that's no excuse, IMO. I had a couple gay friends who have since passed who were very gentlemanly.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.