TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Silent Scream: The Quiet Alienation Inside Many People

huskerbb · Guru

I'd say get off your ass and quit whining. If you don't like your situation do something to change it.

Oh, and the comment about people "shouldn't have to pay for health care" is just STUPID. SOMEONE ALWAYS pays for it. I don't care what type of medical system there is--it's NEVER free.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
I'd say get off your ass and quit whining. If you don't like your situation do something to change it.

Oh, and the comment about people "shouldn't have to pay for health care" is just STUPID. SOMEONE ALWAYS pays for it. I don't care what type of medical system there is--it's NEVER free.

Thank you again, dr. husker!

Easy peasy... hmm

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Yeah. You can complain all day long but nothing will change until you do.

And that means work.

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I'd say get off your ass and quit whining. If you don't like your situation do something to change it.

Oh, and the comment about people "shouldn't have to pay for health care" is just STUPID. SOMEONE ALWAYS pays for it. I don't care what type of medical system there is--it's NEVER free.
Thank you again, dr. husker!
Easy peasy...
flan

Oh, so wallowing in self-pity and misery is the obvious solution.

Mary Zombie · Guru

I understand it's easier said than done but still. Should she never to try and change her situation?

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Fake it til you make it.

Force it.

One step in front of another.

There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who make things happen and those who complain.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
Fake it til you make it.

Force it.

One step in front of another.

There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who make things happen and those who complain.

I don't live in a Black and White world. Never have, never will...

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

You cannot FORCE your brain chemistry to change.

First you get help.

But THAT is often a BIG step.

flan

Ohfour · Hooker

Sitting around whining isn't going to do a damn thing to help. I don't care how "imbalanced" you are, unless you are 100% bat schitt crazy, you know this.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

What's up with the syringe?

She sounds like she is depressed. She should see a therapist.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

flan327 wrote:
You cannot FORCE your brain chemistry to change.

First you get help.

But THAT is often a BIG step.

flan

And THAT is doing something.

Until you DO something, NOTHING will change.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Was watching trash TV last night, Sister Wives.

That is one incredibly disfunctional "family". Ever one of the women show signs of depression and that Cody is a sleeze ball.

But Meri got involved with a catfish situation and the whole time she has been dealing with this, she kept pulling away and separating herself from the group.

She said she didn't want to involve the others. So she ended up a sobbing ball on the couch.

She did that to herself.

And that's what happens. People segregate themselves then wonder why no one can see what's going on.

I understand how that happens.

What I don't understand is not realizing that you, the individual needing help, has to seek help. No one is a mind reader.

And it's no one's fault but your own if you stay stuck.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lexxy wrote:
What's up with the syringe?

She sounds like she is depressed. She should see a therapist.

I think she's a psychiatrist, but out of work.

flan

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

flan327 wrote:
Lexxy wrote:
What's up with the syringe?

She sounds like she is depressed. She should see a therapist.
I think she's a psychiatrist, but out of work.
flan

I think so too. She is probably not coming off very well in interviews with that attitude. I wouldn't want her as my shrink.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
Was watching trash TV last night, Sister Wives.

That is one incredibly disfunctional "family". Ever one of the women show signs of depression and that Cody is a sleeze ball.

But Meri got involved with a catfish situation and the whole time she has been dealing with this, she kept pulling away and separating herself from the group.

She said she didn't want to involve the others. So she ended up a sobbing ball on the couch.

She did that to herself.

And that's what happens. People segregate themselves then wonder why no one can see what's going on.

I understand how that happens.

What I don't understand is not realizing that you, the individual needing help, has to seek help. No one is a mind reader.

And it's no one's fault but your own if you stay stuck.

In MANY cases, you DO realize, but think that you DON'T deserve it.

I read the same old %$@# here & am sometimes convinced that mental illness will never lose its stigma in America...

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lexxy wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lexxy wrote:
What's up with the syringe?

She sounds like she is depressed. She should see a therapist.
I think she's a psychiatrist, but out of work.
flan
I think so too. She is probably not coming off very well in interviews with that attitude. I wouldn't want her as my shrink.

Just goes to show you that not even professionals are immune, I guess.

To me, the syringe is her way out.

flan

FNW · Guru

I wondered about the syringe thing, too.

Most shrinks go in to that line of work because they need help themselves.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

FNW wrote:
I wondered about the syringe thing, too.

Most shrinks go in to that line of work because they need help themselves.

LOL, I wanted to be a psychologist. I didn't have the gumption to actually work hard enough to be a psychiatrist.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

FNW wrote:
I wondered about the syringe thing, too.

Most shrinks go in to that line of work because they need help themselves.

I don't know...Maybe they have GOTTEN help & want to pass it along?

flan

Mary Zombie · Guru

Perhaps there still a stigma due to the people that KNOW they need help and WON'T get the help?
Food for thought perhaps...

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Was watching trash TV last night, Sister Wives.

That is one incredibly disfunctional "family". Ever one of the women show signs of depression and that Cody is a sleeze ball.

But Meri got involved with a catfish situation and the whole time she has been dealing with this, she kept pulling away and separating herself from the group.

She said she didn't want to involve the others. So she ended up a sobbing ball on the couch.

She did that to herself.

And that's what happens. People segregate themselves then wonder why no one can see what's going on.

I understand how that happens.

What I don't understand is not realizing that you, the individual needing help, has to seek help. No one is a mind reader.

And it's no one's fault but your own if you stay stuck.

In MANY cases, you DO realize, but think that you DON'T deserve it.
I read the same old %$@# here & am sometimes convinced that mental illness will never lose its stigma in America...
flan

That's no one else's fault or problem.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Mary Zombie wrote:
Perhaps there still a stigma due to the people that KNOW they need help and WON'T get the help?
Food for thought perhaps...

Exactly. As long as people use it as an excuse while refusing to get help at the same time, it is going to be a stigma.

huskerbb · Guru

Here's the BS line of thought.

People can't get out of their misery (and we DO NOT KNOW this is even "depression", but I'll play along) because of a chemical imbalance so telling them to "buck it up" or whatever won't do any good.

Fine--so then you say, "well, they need to get help"--whatever form that may take.

But then the pinheads that say they can't do this for themselves tell you that you CAN'T tell them to get help, either.

Stupid.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
Perhaps there still a stigma due to the people that KNOW they need help and WON'T get the help?
Food for thought perhaps...
Exactly. As long as people use it as an excuse while refusing to get help at the same time, it is going to be a stigma.

And...you just proved my point...

I would NEVER wish clinical depression on ANYONE, but the fact remains that, looking in from the outside means that attitudes like this continue to exist, even among supposedly educated people.

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
Perhaps there still a stigma due to the people that KNOW they need help and WON'T get the help?
Food for thought perhaps...
Exactly. As long as people use it as an excuse while refusing to get help at the same time, it is going to be a stigma.
And...you just proved my point...
I would NEVER wish clinical depression on ANYONE, but the fact remains that, looking in from the outside means that attitudes like this continue to exist, even among supposedly educated people.
flan

Flan depression is very real. However, one will ONLY overcome their demons if and when they accept the personal responsibility and the work required of themselves to do so.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Spit in one hand, wish in the other, see which one fills up faster.

If you want to wish your life away, fine.

But you can not expect anyone to help you, if you don't help yourself.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
Perhaps there still a stigma due to the people that KNOW they need help and WON'T get the help?
Food for thought perhaps...
Exactly. As long as people use it as an excuse while refusing to get help at the same time, it is going to be a stigma.
And...you just proved my point...
I would NEVER wish clinical depression on ANYONE, but the fact remains that, looking in from the outside means that attitudes like this continue to exist, even among supposedly educated people.
flan
Flan depression is very real. However, one will ONLY overcome their demons if and when they accept the personal responsibility and the work required of themselves to do so.

Yes, and like any disorder, there are degrees.

Honestly, I think the word has become like "bully:" overused to the point that it's MEDICAL meaning is lost.

Dysthymia, for example, is a chronic form, which is not as severe as major depressive episodes, but can last longer.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

And if a person does nothing to help themselves, nothing anyone else does, will matter.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
And if a person does nothing to help themselves, nothing anyone else does, will matter.

You'll never understand.

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I really don't know what you are arguing about flan? She understands that very well. So do I. So do many of us. Nobody can help someone who won't help themselves. Yes, you might need some help to get to the place of helping yourself. You might need counseling or medication. But, until and unless you do the WORK of caring for yourself, no one can care about you more than you care about you. They can, but only for awhile. At some point, you pick up the fork and start feeding yourself or you don't.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
And if a person does nothing to help themselves, nothing anyone else does, will matter.
You'll never understand.
flan

Oh I understand very well.

I deal with depression. Every day.

I had a depressive episode that lasted 10 years, give or take.

To the point of having to force myself to take the next breath. Every. Single. Breath.

But NOTHING changed until I changed it.

You can sit and hide behind some definition and say "poor me" till you die.

But if you do, that's 100000000% YOUR FAULT and NO ONE elses.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Yes. Nothing will change until YOU take personal responsibility to help yourself. Depression is an EXPLANATION. When you use it as an EXCUSE to then not do the things you know that you are supposed to do, then you become it becomes an ingrained way of life. You know that you SHOULD get up and do the dishes, or make your kid dinner. So, get up and do those things. Washing your dishes may seem like an Herculean impossibility in throes of depression, but you are not getting any better to simply lay in bed. Give yourself 45 to lay in bed and feel your feelings. Then after 45 min, what is to be gained? Then, just GET UP. Get up and DO what you need to do and address your daily responsibiliities of life. Be it feeding the cat, wallking the dog, cleaning the sink, cooking supper or whatever. And, by doing those things, that gives you pride in yourself that helps attack your depression.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Yup.

Fake it til you make it.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

There is a commercial running now for some new drug to fight depression.

In the commercial, the depressed people hold up little paper faces when others are near.

That commercial gets under my skin.

One of the hardest things for me to do was interact with others.

But it was fundamental in getting myself back.

You can't turn off and tune out.

You have to force yourself to engage.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
There is a commercial running now for some new drug to fight depression.

In the commercial, the depressed people hold up little paper faces when others are near.

That commercial gets under my skin.

One of the hardest things for me to do was interact with others.

But it was fundamental in getting myself back.

You can't turn off and tune out.

You have to force yourself to engage.

To a point. I get what you are saying. But, i think there is a time when you actually have to disengage. A time to just nuture yourself. When you are depressed, being around people is the last thing you want to do. I think you need to do the work of getting yourself back to that point. When you arent ready, forcing it isn't all that helpful. Focus on yourself and your responsibilities first. Take care of your home and surroundings and your family. Take care of yourself by eating well, exercising, etc. Then, after you do those things, you will have the ability and energy to engage other people. Just my opinion.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I like cheese.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
And if a person does nothing to help themselves, nothing anyone else does, will matter.
You'll never understand.
flan
Oh I understand very well.
I deal with depression. Every day.
I had a depressive episode that lasted 10 years, give or take.
To the point of having to force myself to take the next breath. Every. Single. Breath.
But NOTHING changed until I changed it.
You can sit and hide behind some definition and say "poor me" till you die.
But if you do, that's 100000000% YOUR FAULT and NO ONE elses.

1. Why in the world didn't you get help? I was a single parent too. If my kids only had ONE parent, they deserved a functional one.

2. I have never ever heard of that. You breathe when you're asleep.

3. It's not "hiding," it's often believing you DON'T DESERVE HELP. I never felt sorry for myself. I didn't feel ANYTHING.

flan

huskerbb · Guru

So--you can't tell them to "buck up"

And you can't tell them to get help.

Stupid.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
There is a commercial running now for some new drug to fight depression.

In the commercial, the depressed people hold up little paper faces when others are near.

That commercial gets under my skin.

One of the hardest things for me to do was interact with others.

But it was fundamental in getting myself back.

You can't turn off and tune out.

You have to force yourself to engage.
To a point. I get what you are saying. But, i think there is a time when you actually have to disengage. A time to just nuture yourself. When you are depressed, being around people is the last thing you want to do. I think you need to do the work of getting yourself back to that point. When you arent ready, forcing it isn't all that helpful. Focus on yourself and your responsibilities first. Take care of your home and surroundings and your family. Take care of yourself by eating well, exercising, etc. Then, after you do those things, you will have the ability and energy to engage other people. Just my opinion.

But that's just it.

It is family and work in a lot of the instances.

No. You dont need to engage 24/7.

But actively avoiding people is exhausting.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

flan327 wrote:
I like cheese.

flan

And you wonder why you get called Flannie and are told you act like a 2 year old.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
And if a person does nothing to help themselves, nothing anyone else does, will matter.
You'll never understand.
flan
Oh I understand very well.
I deal with depression. Every day.
I had a depressive episode that lasted 10 years, give or take.
To the point of having to force myself to take the next breath. Every. Single. Breath.
But NOTHING changed until I changed it.
You can sit and hide behind some definition and say "poor me" till you die.
But if you do, that's 100000000% YOUR FAULT and NO ONE elses.
1. Why in the world didn't you get help? I was a single parent too. If my kids only had ONE parent, they deserved a functional one.
2. I have never ever heard of that. You breathe when you're asleep.
3. It's not "hiding," it's often believing you DON'T DESERVE HELP. I never felt sorry for myself. I didn't feel ANYTHING.
flan

I. I functioned. Did every thing expected of me. Existed while life went on around me. Get help? I did. I prayed a lot. And I kept getting up.

2. I wanted to die. You are so juvenile. Yes. You breathe when you sleep. It's involuntary. But there is also will. And I almost lost all will to live.

3. And yes, it IS hiding. Can't never did anything.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
And if a person does nothing to help themselves, nothing anyone else does, will matter.
You'll never understand.
flan
Oh I understand very well.
I deal with depression. Every day.
I had a depressive episode that lasted 10 years, give or take.
To the point of having to force myself to take the next breath. Every. Single. Breath.
But NOTHING changed until I changed it.
You can sit and hide behind some definition and say "poor me" till you die.
But if you do, that's 100000000% YOUR FAULT and NO ONE elses.
1. Why in the world didn't you get help? I was a single parent too. If my kids only had ONE parent, they deserved a functional one.
2. I have never ever heard of that. You breathe when you're asleep.
3. It's not "hiding," it's often believing you DON'T DESERVE HELP. I never felt sorry for myself. I didn't feel ANYTHING.
flan

Well, you felt nothing. Some people feel nothing. Some people feel like dying. Yes, you dont' feel like you DESERVE help. And, part of that is that by NOT actively helping yourself, you further depress your own self esteem. If you GET UP off the sofa or out of bed and DO the things you SHOULD do, then at least that gives you the pride of taking care of your responsibilities and then you can get additional help through counseling and medication and so forth to move yourself forward.

What exactly is your recommendation flan? Just pat someone on the head and say "oh you are so pitiful'" ? Then what? Yes, talk to someone who understands and who has compassion for what you are going thru. But, then WHAT? We offer concrete approaches but you just keep saying, no no that won't work. Tell us what will work.

Mary Zombie · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
Perhaps there still a stigma due to the people that KNOW they need help and WON'T get the help?
Food for thought perhaps...
Exactly. As long as people use it as an excuse while refusing to get help at the same time, it is going to be a stigma.
And...you just proved my point...
I would NEVER wish clinical depression on ANYONE, but the fact remains that, looking in from the outside means that attitudes like this continue to exist, even among supposedly educated people.
flan

I have suffered with depression. And the reality is that it is up to the person to choose to get help. I found people tendled to take me more seriously then. No one is saying its easy.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

"Supposedly educated people" understand that clinical depression doesn't just go away on its own. It requires getting help. But an ADULT has to choose to get that help - no one can do it for them. And if they refuse to get help, they are choosing to wallow in their illness.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
flan327 wrote:
I like cheese.

flan
And you wonder why you get called Flannie and are told you act like a 2 year old.

Nope, I understand WHY better than you think.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
And if a person does nothing to help themselves, nothing anyone else does, will matter.
You'll never understand.
flan
Oh I understand very well.
I deal with depression. Every day.
I had a depressive episode that lasted 10 years, give or take.
To the point of having to force myself to take the next breath. Every. Single. Breath.
But NOTHING changed until I changed it.
You can sit and hide behind some definition and say "poor me" till you die.
But if you do, that's 100000000% YOUR FAULT and NO ONE elses.
1. Why in the world didn't you get help? I was a single parent too. If my kids only had ONE parent, they deserved a functional one.
2. I have never ever heard of that. You breathe when you're asleep.
3. It's not "hiding," it's often believing you DON'T DESERVE HELP. I never felt sorry for myself. I didn't feel ANYTHING.
flan
Well, you felt nothing. Some people feel nothing. Some people feel like dying. Yes, you dont' feel like you DESERVE help. And, part of that is that by NOT actively helping yourself, you further depress your own self esteem. If you GET UP off the sofa or out of bed and DO the things you SHOULD do, then at least that gives you the pride of taking care of your responsibilities and then you can get additional help through counseling and medication and so forth to move yourself forward.
What exactly is your recommendation flan? Just pat someone on the head and say "oh you are so pitiful'" ? Then what? Yes, talk to someone who understands and who has compassion for what you are going thru. But, then WHAT? We offer concrete approaches but you just keep saying, no no that won't work. Tell us what will work.

I have told you before.

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I don't know why you rail against self help? You cannot help someone who will not lift a finger to help themselves. I mean, yes, someone may be so low, that it can be done for a time. But, you cannot expect the people around you to do the heavy lifting everyday. I can help someone to the EXTENT that they are willing to try to take a step forward. We all know people who are not flan. I know people who have spend their entire lives wallowing in their misery. Never allowing themselves a moment of pleasure or a laugh or a good time. Yes, there are people who have suffered terribly in this life, no question. But, even still, they simply wasted the good moments they COULD have had. Would those good moments have erased the bad? No. But, not having those good moments did what for them?

Lindley · Guru

There is depression that is chemical and depression that happens due to circumstances such as a death of a loved one, finances, or loneliness.

medical people I know had also said that you can't help someone who won't help themselves.

Mary Zombie · Guru

And unfortunately sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom and losing people and sometimes your job...or almost losing it to finally get help.
It almost happened to me and I have a friend self destructing right next w and I can see it happening to her.
It's up to her at this point.