TOTALLY GEEKED!

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

RE: Dear Abby - Do step in-laws have to be invited to wedding?

huskerbb · Guru

So you don't have a relationship, and there is no blood--yet people are still family.

Again, absolutely nothing.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Gs step mom calls my grandbabies her great grandbabies. Shes never met either of them, but still, she enjoys sharing picts and stories.
I think she should invite them. They are family...
That's not the case here. They are not family. They have shown zero interest in being family.

The way I read it, they haven't known each other long.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
According to you "absolutely nothing" makes family.
And you don't consider anyone family unless you get something when they die and you have to have alcohol to get through the social events with them.

I've never gotten anything from anyone who died but I have lots of family.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Gs step mom calls my grandbabies her great grandbabies. Shes never met either of them, but still, she enjoys sharing picts and stories.
I think she should invite them. They are family...
That's not the case here. They are not family. They have shown zero interest in being family.
The way I read it, they haven't known each other long.

Irrelevant.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
So you don't have a relationship, and there is no blood--yet people are still family.

Again, absolutely nothing.

Yes. Because they belong to our family.

I could walk up to any one of their doors and they'd bring me in and I would do the exact same thing for them.

I don't know them. But I knew my pawpaw, and he loved them, they loved him.

That was his family. That made them my family.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
So you don't have a relationship, and there is no blood--yet people are still family.

Again, absolutely nothing.
Yes. Because they belong to our family.
I could walk up to any one of their doors and they'd bring me in and I would do the exact same thing for them.
I don't know them. But I knew my pawpaw, and he loved them, they loved him.
That was his family. That made them my family.

How? You have yet to answer that.

they aren't blood--but family isn't always blood you say.

fine, I don't disagree--but there is no relationship, either.

so what makes them family? They are random strangers. My mom loves a LOT of people--friends, neighbors, whoever--they aren't all my family, or even hers.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Thursday 26th of May 2016 11:31:43 AM

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

They are pawpaw's family.

When he married mawmaw, that made them her family.

By default, that made them my family.

Ohfour · Hooker

huskerbb wrote:
So you don't have a relationship, and there is no blood--yet people are still family.

Again, absolutely nothing.

When we go to Ireland next year (hopefully) we are staying with cousins of cousins. There is no blood. But we still call each other cousins. And we have never met. Just emailed a few times.

We consider each other family...

huskerbb · Guru

Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
So you don't have a relationship, and there is no blood--yet people are still family.

Again, absolutely nothing.
When we go to Ireland next year (hopefully) we are staying with cousins of cousins. There is no blood. But we still call each other cousins. And we have never met. Just emailed a few times.
We consider each other family...

But there is some relationship there. Youve both taken steps to reach out and form a bond of some sort.

that is wholly absent for both sides in this letter.

Some family you are stuck with--these people she's not.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
So you don't have a relationship, and there is no blood--yet people are still family.

Again, absolutely nothing.
Yes. Because they belong to our family.
I could walk up to any one of their doors and they'd bring me in and I would do the exact same thing for them.
I don't know them. But I knew my pawpaw, and he loved them, they loved him.
That was his family. That made them my family.

How? You have yet to answer that.
they aren't blood--but family isn't always blood you say.
fine, I don't disagree--but there is no relationship, either.
so what makes them family? They are random strangers. My mom loves a LOT of people--friends, neighbors, whoever--they aren't all my family, or even hers.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Thursday 26th of May 2016 11:31:43 AM

OMG Husker. What are you even after?! So her definition of family is different than yours. Who cares? enough already.

Tinydancer · Guru

Every individual gets to decide who they consider family. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it because each family is different.

huskerbb · Guru

Tignanello wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
So you don't have a relationship, and there is no blood--yet people are still family.

Again, absolutely nothing.
Yes. Because they belong to our family.
I could walk up to any one of their doors and they'd bring me in and I would do the exact same thing for them.
I don't know them. But I knew my pawpaw, and he loved them, they loved him.
That was his family. That made them my family.

How? You have yet to answer that.
they aren't blood--but family isn't always blood you say.
fine, I don't disagree--but there is no relationship, either.
so what makes them family? They are random strangers. My mom loves a LOT of people--friends, neighbors, whoever--they aren't all my family, or even hers.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Thursday 26th of May 2016 11:31:43 AM
OMG Husker. What are you even after?! So her definition of family is different than yours. Who cares? enough already.

She thinks the LW simpLY must have the same definition. They don't.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

huskerbb wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
So you don't have a relationship, and there is no blood--yet people are still family.

Again, absolutely nothing.
Yes. Because they belong to our family.
I could walk up to any one of their doors and they'd bring me in and I would do the exact same thing for them.
I don't know them. But I knew my pawpaw, and he loved them, they loved him.
That was his family. That made them my family.

How? You have yet to answer that.
they aren't blood--but family isn't always blood you say.
fine, I don't disagree--but there is no relationship, either.
so what makes them family? They are random strangers. My mom loves a LOT of people--friends, neighbors, whoever--they aren't all my family, or even hers.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Thursday 26th of May 2016 11:31:43 AM
OMG Husker. What are you even after?! So her definition of family is different than yours. Who cares? enough already.
She thinks the LW simpLY must have the same definition. They don't.

But they have the same definition as you? Equal chance.

huskerbb · Guru

Tignanello wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
So you don't have a relationship, and there is no blood--yet people are still family.

Again, absolutely nothing.
Yes. Because they belong to our family.
I could walk up to any one of their doors and they'd bring me in and I would do the exact same thing for them.
I don't know them. But I knew my pawpaw, and he loved them, they loved him.
That was his family. That made them my family.

How? You have yet to answer that.
they aren't blood--but family isn't always blood you say.
fine, I don't disagree--but there is no relationship, either.
so what makes them family? They are random strangers. My mom loves a LOT of people--friends, neighbors, whoever--they aren't all my family, or even hers.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Thursday 26th of May 2016 11:31:43 AM
OMG Husker. What are you even after?! So her definition of family is different than yours. Who cares? enough already.
She thinks the LW simpLY must have the same definition. They don't.
But they have the same definition as you? Equal chance.

??? The LW obviously doesn't consider them family. read the letter.

Mary Zombie · Guru

I think it's wrong of the brides father to bully her into it but I would again ....invite them and seat them far away from me.
I wish the letter mentioned who was paying.

I have extended family I'm not inviting because I'm already over 100 and I just can't invite everyone. So if I never hear or see from you sorry Charlie!

huskerbb · Guru

Mary Zombie wrote:
I think it's wrong of the brides father to bully her into it but I would again ....invite them and seat them far away from me.
I wish the letter mentioned who was paying.

I have extended family I'm not inviting because I'm already over 100 and I just can't invite everyone. So if I never hear or see from you sorry Charlie!

It's sort of like parents wanting to invite their co-workers that you barely know. Yeah, if they are paying for it, it's a necessary evil. If they aren't, too damn bad.

Mary Zombie · Guru

Yep. Pony up if you want input!

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

Mary Zombie wrote:
I think it's wrong of the brides father to bully her into it but I would again ....invite them and seat them far away from me.
I wish the letter mentioned who was paying.

I have extended family I'm not inviting because I'm already over 100 and I just can't invite everyone. So if I never hear or see from you sorry Charlie!

Just ask them to send a card . . . biggrin

TrudyML · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
I think it's wrong of the brides father to bully her into it but I would again ....invite them and seat them far away from me.
I wish the letter mentioned who was paying.

I have extended family I'm not inviting because I'm already over 100 and I just can't invite everyone. So if I never hear or see from you sorry Charlie!
It's sort of like parents wanting to invite their co-workers that you barely know. Yeah, if they are paying for it, it's a necessary evil. If they aren't, too damn bad.

My sister paid for her own wedding. Beautiful event. My mother, AKA The Hag handed her a list of people she wanted invited. I took a red pen to that list. Then I watched the Hag take compliments on the wonderful day she had planned. I finally looked at her and said, what did you do? You didn't even offer up some cash. Lets remember my other 2 sisters weddings were totally paid for.

I about lost it!

I did 99% of the planning. My sister was so grateful.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
So you don't have a relationship, and there is no blood--yet people are still family.

Again, absolutely nothing.
When we go to Ireland next year (hopefully) we are staying with cousins of cousins. There is no blood. But we still call each other cousins. And we have never met. Just emailed a few times.
We consider each other family...
But there is some relationship there. Youve both taken steps to reach out and form a bond of some sort.
that is wholly absent for both sides in this letter.
Some family you are stuck with--these people she's not.

So the LW has NEVER met or had any interactions with her step mother's family?

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
So you don't have a relationship, and there is no blood--yet people are still family.

Again, absolutely nothing.
When we go to Ireland next year (hopefully) we are staying with cousins of cousins. There is no blood. But we still call each other cousins. And we have never met. Just emailed a few times.
We consider each other family...
But there is some relationship there. Youve both taken steps to reach out and form a bond of some sort.
that is wholly absent for both sides in this letter.
Some family you are stuck with--these people she's not.
So the LW has NEVER met or had any interactions with her step mother's family?

Not enough to warrant considering them family.

i interact with lots of people every day--co-workers, customers, people at various businesses. That doesn't make them family.