DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am an Italian who has lived most of her life in Italy and has now relocated to the United States. Fortunately, I have easily made many friends and am quite happy here.
When American friends invite me to dinner, unfortunately, they often serve me their idea of Italian spaghetti, thinking kindly that I must be "homesick" for spaghetti. But this is meant very well, and I always enjoy their attempts, and often invite them to my house for more authentic Italian meals, so we are all happy.
My difficulty is the inability of Americans to eat spaghetti. In Italy, spaghetti is eaten very neatly and easily using a dinner fork and no other utensil. Americans are unable to do this, and make a horrid mess trying to help themselves along with an additional soup spoon, or knife, or lots of slurping.
However, I have come to realize that the reason they cannot manage with a fork alone is mainly because they are using the wrong kind of plates. Spaghetti must be served in a shallow, flat-bottomed bowl with a wide rim, and then it is easy to roll the strands around the fork, holding the tines of the fork to the bottom of the side of the bowl.
I have never criticized anyone about table manners, as I am well aware of the many differences between European and American customs! But I would like to help my struggling friends.
I want to invite them to dinner, serve a "primo" of spaghetti in my Italian pasta bowls, and hope that someone will say, "These are the perfect bowls for spaghetti!" And then I will, with a big smile, present each couple with a set of bowls, saying that this is a thank-you gift for their thoughtfulness in making me feel at home here.
But what are these bowls called, in an American dinner set?
GENTLE READER: Unless you can find a company that frankly makes pasta bowls, the nearest equivalent in American china patterns is the large, flat-rimmed soup plate.
But you are in danger of being called names yourself by Americans who claim to have learned the additional use of a soup spoon from their Italian grandmothers.
Mind you, Miss Manners knows that you are perfectly right about Italian manners, which are also correct here. But she has stated this before and encountered such protests.
Apparently something was lost in the generational translation. It is as if Texas grandmothers, speaking of ribs at barbecues, had said that of course one can use the hands -- and their descendants had taken that to mean that meat can always be eaten that way.
I have never used anything other than a fork to eat spaghetti. Never.
Don't know of anyone who does.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Ok. I'll wear springy antenna while eating my spaghetti.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I do remember the first time I was served a spoon with spaghetti - it was in an Italian restaurant. When I asked what the spoon was for, they looked at me like I was an idiot. So, for the longest time, I thought that was the way I was supposed to eat it - twirling the fork in the spoon.
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
But lady in the OP - you are in America now. Get over it. You want to see authentic Italian - go to Italy.
It's open to interpretation, of course, but it seems like the lady in the OP has her heart in the right place, based mostly on this statement:
And then I will, with a big smile, present each couple with a set of bowls, saying that this is a thank-you gift for their thoughtfulness in making me feel at home here.
My DH will use a spoon. I never have. It's useless, IMO. Learn how to eat it with a fork, dammit! Anyway, now I, too, must get pasta bowls. I have the large one for family style servings. DH & I got one when we came home from our honeymoon in Italy.
I love everything about this question and answer!!
Pasta bowls are a "nice to have" but not a necessity. It is possible to eat spaghetti with a fork only without pasta bowls. It's like having the right glass for the right type of wine - you can certainly drink it out of whatever you want, but there IS a right way to do it.
No one I know, and no authentic Italian restaurant uses a spoon. If they serve it with a spoon, it's an American restaurant trying to be Italian. It takes more than spaghetti and meatballs to be Italian though.
I honestly didn't know that people didn't know about pasta bowls!! We use ours for stew and all sorts of things.
__________________
Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
I do seem to have pasta bowls. From a set of casual china my grandparents kept at the cabin and gave to me before grandpa died. I use them for all sorts of things. I have used them to serve drunken shrimp as well as shrimp, bowties & zucchini in a light tomato broth. I think I'll start using them for spaghetti.
And honestly, for kids, it would be easier to have the side of the bowl to help gather the spaghetti strands.
flan
My kids learned to eat from a plate like a human. Bowls are for soup, cereal and ice cream.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I do seem to have pasta bowls. From a set of casual china my grandparents kept at the cabin and gave to me before grandpa died. I use them for all sorts of things. I have used them to serve drunken shrimp as well as shrimp, bowties & zucchini in a light tomato broth. I think I'll start using them for spaghetti.
I think I have 12 "pasta" bowls. But they get used for other things too, not just for pasta. One set has a grape pattern and one set has an herb pattern.
__________________
America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
And honestly, for kids, it would be easier to have the side of the bowl to help gather the spaghetti strands.
flan
My kids learned to eat from a plate like a human. Bowls are for soup, cereal and ice cream.
And my kids are not human?
When I go to a restaurant & order pasta & it is served in a bowl, should I storm out?
flan
I assume your kids are human.
And you can do whatever you want.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
And honestly, for kids, it would be easier to have the side of the bowl to help gather the spaghetti strands.
flan
My kids learned to eat from a plate like a human. Bowls are for soup, cereal and ice cream.
Lily, seriously - this cracks me up. Who died and made you the dish police? Why is a plate more proper than a pasta bowl?
It isnt. It cracks me up, too.
Go back and read. Gaga and I goofed off a bit and it was over.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Never had it served on anything other than a plate. Anywhere.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I've never used a spoon to eat spaghetti. I don't have a problem twirling the strands onto my fork using a regular plate. DH has Italian heritage. The first time we had spaghetti, he applauded me for not using a spoon.
Never had it served on anything other than a plate. Anywhere.
Actual Italian Restaurants do.
The buffet at Pizza Hut--probably not.
-- Edited by huskerbb on Tuesday 24th of May 2016 06:14:46 PM
Talking about real Italian owned and operated, non chain, restaurants.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
It's not authentic Italian but they do serve their pasta in bowls.
Exactly. :)
Not always.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
We spent 2 weeks in the Italian Alps...not the tourist trap places. Villages...cantinas. Where the red wine is served in a pitcher. Cold. G has an old friend that has lived there most his life.
Pasta was always served in a bowl.
__________________
America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
It's plain to see we have all had different experiences.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.