DEAR ABBY: My mother died in her sleep last year at our home. She was 97. We cleaned the carpets and repainted the room, removed the hospital bed and replaced it with a brand-new one.
We recently asked some friends to stay overnight at our house, and they called back to ask if they would be staying in the room Mama had died in. We have a second guest room, although it's smaller and so is the bed (full, not a queen). They seemed hesitant.
After the call I found myself feeling offended. I keep thinking that if the shoe was on the other foot, would they shut down a room of their home if someone had died there? We have had other houseguests who didn't mind staying in the room.
These people are supposed to arrive soon. Should we arrange for them to stay at a hotel? -- FEELING OFFENDED
DEAR FEELING: Please don't take their reaction as a personal insult. Many people are squeamish about staying in a room in which someone has died. I see no reason to banish these people to a hotel during their visit. Call them back, offer them the smaller guest room and enjoy their visit.
I wonder how long Mom was sick and bed ridden and how much this daughter vented or talked about the ordeal to her friends. I can see how going through that with a friend would make me hesitant about sleeping in the room too.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I can understand the hesitation at first, but in the end, it's just a room.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
People die in rooms all the time. This seems a very silly issue.
Has anyone died in your house? Say, hmm, your basement?
My house isn't very old, but it's possible. The former owner's FIL died while he was living there - I don't know if it was in the house or not, it's not something that would bother me enough to be rude enough to ask.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Some people are superstitious and spooked to stay in a room where someone died or for that matter a house. My nephew was offered the house that was my parents which later became my sister's home and since she died unexpectedly in her room he couldn't bring himself to live there. We sold it and he used the money to buy his own home.
I had not only slept in the same room as my husband's granny died in but I slept in the bed she died. It didn't bother me for some reason.
I wonder how many "mature" houses there are in which no one has died? New houses, probably no one. But a lovely Victorian Era B&B surely has had many deaths.... No reason to worry about this or dwell on it. (Pun intended)
I remember when I went to my home after my mother died; my brother informed me I as going to sleep in her room. It just felt a little strange as NO ONE was ever allowed to go in there....
The room I had as a kid had someone die in it. My dad tried to tell me his ghost was still in the room. I don't believe in ghosts so didn't bother me one bit.
