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Post Info TOPIC: Holy Crap am I annoyed with my sister right now.


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Holy Crap am I annoyed with my sister right now.
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Ever year for, oh, the past TWENTY or so, we've had a big party out at some friends on the Sunday night of memorial weekend.  We have some great food, get a keg, etc...

 

This year, we are having chicken wings.  We've already bought dozens and dozens of them, and are going to spend a bunch of the afternoon making different kinds.

 

Now this morning I get a message that my sister is driving up with her kids and wants everyone (meaning my immediate family) to come to mom's for supper to celebrate birthdays.

 

SH!T.  Mom will be annoyed that my wife and I, and my son and his girlfriend aren't coming to her house.  My brothers and their kids and my mom (and my sister and her kids if they were going to be here) were supposed to come to our party and now likely won't, and we'll probably have a ton of chicken wings left over.

 

Do we send out formal invitations?  No, we don't--but again, we've been doing this for twenty years.  My mom and brothers have almost always come unless they are ill or out of town for soe reason.  My sister and her kids have come EVERY year they've been here on that date.  It's not like the kids' birthdays have moved and she's never done this any other year for cripes' sakes.



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Yeah, that is annoying. I agree. Pretty crappy. Unfortunately, what are you gonna do with relatives that have their own ideas. We had something similar on a smaller scale for Easter. For Easter we go to DH's brother's house for Easter dinner. We have done that for 20 yrs. It is DH, and me and the kids, Dh's brother and his wife and kids and DH's Sister, my SIL. And, the SIL has no kids but usually would bring her BF if she had one. Anyway, there are no formal invitations, it is just what we always do. So, this year, my SIL, " didn't think she was invited" because DH's brother hadn't mentioned it until like a week before Easter so she went elsewhere. OK, fine, if you wanna go somewhere else then go somewhere else. But, don't act like you " didn't know you were invited" to something that has been give for 20 yrs with your own brothers! Yowza!

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Husker, just remind sis of your annual plans and that she is welcome to come and the bday's can be recognized on Monday.

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I left her a facebook message, but I think she's in church right now.

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Heck, last year we had mountain oysters and my mom did the cooking of those. She and I dressed them and cut them up the Saturday before.

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huskerbb wrote:

Heck, last year we had mountain oysters and my mom did the cooking of those. She and I dressed them and cut them up the Saturday before.


 Your sis just had a brain fart.  Let it go and act as though "of course you forgot, now come on to the annual party"



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I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

Heck, last year we had mountain oysters and my mom did the cooking of those. She and I dressed them and cut them up the Saturday before.


 Your sis just had a brain fart.  Let it go and act as though "of course you forgot, now come on to the annual party"


 I can try that--but it's going to be a whole deal, now.  



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Maybe your sister isn't fond of the tradition and is trying to start a new one?

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And from now on start sending out an event invite like on Facebook or email or whatever.

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Mellow Momma wrote:

Maybe your sister isn't fond of the tradition and is trying to start a new one?


 I don't know--I doubt that, but even if true, she's also trying to make that decision for me and my brothers.



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huskerbb wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:

Maybe your sister isn't fond of the tradition and is trying to start a new one?


 I don't know--I doubt that, but even if true, she's also trying to make that decision for me and my brothers.


 Well then I think your only option is to FB shame her.  biggrin



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How long is the birthday thing going to take? Go for a little bit and then go back for your thing.



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Bring the chicken to your mom's house and hold the party there?

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FNW wrote:

Bring the chicken to your mom's house and hold the party there?


 But that would be 50 people she isn't planning on.



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lilyofcourse wrote:

How long is the birthday thing going to take? Go for a little bit and then go back for your thing.


 That's what my SIL said--but I'm not doing it.  I'd rather piss and moan and be mad.  It's the principle of the thing. 

 

I told my SIL not to plan anything on Sunday night of Memorial Day until I'm dead--or at least if you do, don't invite me or expect me to show up. 

 

I'm pretty annoyed that they aren't going to come to our deal--but whatever, it is what it is.  If they don't want to come to an event they've been coming to for years, heck with it.

 

My main issue is that they expect me and my wife to come and are going to be pissy at us when we don't show up--even though they know darn well we aren't going to be there.  



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My son and his girlfriend aren't going to the birthday party, either.

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Yeah - it's definitely more important to take a stand on when a chicken wing party is happening than it is to celebrate birthdays with family. Totally the hill I would die on. I mean, it isn't like celebrating birthdays with family is important or anything.

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I would be annoyed at people that expect me to abandon my party with 50 guests to come to theirs at the last minute too.

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I wonder which party will have the most alcohol...

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Mellow Momma wrote:

Yeah - it's definitely more important to take a stand on when a chicken wing party is happening than it is to celebrate birthdays with family. Totally the hill I would die on. I mean, it isn't like celebrating birthdays with family is important or anything.


 This is a 20 year tradition.  Other years they have celebrated the birthdays at that party.  

Only one of three children have their birthday today, anyway.  They could have had the birthday party another day.  



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lilyofcourse wrote:

I wonder which party will have the most alcohol...


 First post, at least a keg at huskers.



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I gotta say, that's a pretty selfish statement.

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Mary Zombie wrote:

I would be annoyed at people that expect me to abandon my party with 50 guests to come to theirs at the last minute too.


 Same here. 'Sorry we already have plans, we would love to see you there like usual, but if not, have fun!' 

ETA and even if it wasn't a big traditional party it would still be rude to cancel plans with other people for someone else's last minute invite. 



-- Edited by NAOW on Sunday 29th of May 2016 02:34:14 PM

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Yes, my sister is being selfish.

No matter what anyone else does or is doing. She plops her event on the same day--and she only planned it this morning.

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What difference does it make if one or the other, both or neither event has alcohol?

This isn't about which party will be "better", or if either will.

It's about setting an event on the same day as another event--when you just planned yours this morning, and the other event was scheduled for a YEAR--and then expecting people to drop their plans to accommodate you, and being mad if they don't, which my sister and my mom most certainly will be.

I would love to go to both--but we are making wings for this part and are among the hosts. Other people are depending on us to do our part.

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Yeah right? How is reasonable to get butthurt that someone won't leave their pre planned party to come to your off the cuff same day plans?
I think it would be different if husker wasn't already having a party that they knew about.


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Why can't they do the birthday thing at your party?

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You can't just abandon the other 50 guests you've invited, even if you DID want to go to the birthday thing.

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Tignanello wrote:

Why can't they do the birthday thing at your party?


 They absolutely can--and have done so other years, including just last year.  



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I'm pretty sure Miss Manners would back me up on this one--even without the formal invites sent out in the mail. It's not like my sister sent out anything other than a text message from my mom this morning.

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huskerbb wrote:

I'm pretty sure Miss Manners would back me up on this one--even without the formal invites sent out in the mail. It's not like my sister sent out anything other than a text message from my mom this morning.


 I don't see what invitations has to do with it. Whether your sister and mom were invited or chose to go or not, YOU already committed and therefore can't back out without putting others in a lurch.  



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I'm glad we're all remembering the true meaning of Memorial Day.

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

I'm glad we're all remembering the true meaning of Memorial Day.


 What does that have to do with anything?

 

So people are supposed to sit around all weekend looking at their naval in contemplation?  BS.  

 

Plus, TOMORROW is Memorial Day--not today.  

 

That has NOTHING to do with this situation. 



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Perspective.

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

I'm glad we're all remembering the true meaning of Memorial Day.


 Oh, you naughty girl!

flan



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huskerbb wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

Heck, last year we had mountain oysters and my mom did the cooking of those. She and I dressed them and cut them up the Saturday before.


 Your sis just had a brain fart.  Let it go and act as though "of course you forgot, now come on to the annual party"


 I can try that--but it's going to be a whole deal, now.  


 But it's not YOUR whole deal, it's hers.  Emailing someone last minute and expecting them to jump is just plain rude.  Your response should simply be - "We can't tonight, it's our annual Memorial Day weekend party and we have plans for people to be here.  We can't cancel at the last minute - I'm sure you understand."



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lilyofcourse wrote:

I wonder which party will have the most alcohol...


 This is a stupid statement.  A party for everyone vs. a kid's birthday party?  Or, you are just trying to be a snot.



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huskerbb wrote:

Yes, my sister is being selfish.

No matter what anyone else does or is doing. She plops her event on the same day--and she only planned it this morning.


 No. You are.

How dare she want to celebrate her kids birthday with the family on the kids birthday. 

The audacity.



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lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

Yes, my sister is being selfish.

No matter what anyone else does or is doing. She plops her event on the same day--and she only planned it this morning.


 No. You are.

How dare she want to celebrate her kids birthday with the family on the kids birthday. 

The audacity.


 If that's the case, she should have discussed it ahead of time.  Not just assumed everyone would drop everything  at the last minute to do things the way SHE wants to do them.  



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huskerbb wrote:

What difference does it make if one or the other, both or neither event has alcohol?

This isn't about which party will be "better", or if either will.

It's about setting an event on the same day as another event--when you just planned yours this morning, and the other event was scheduled for a YEAR--and then expecting people to drop their plans to accommodate you, and being mad if they don't, which my sister and my mom most certainly will be.

I would love to go to both--but we are making wings for this part and are among the hosts. Other people are depending on us to do our part.


 You can do both. 

You just don't want to.



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"Gee Sis, I'm sorry you forgot about the wings party - we've been planning it for several weeks now. And as you know, I'm one of the hosts. Come on over after you and the kids have ice cream and cake. Or you can bring the goodies over to the wings party and we'll all share, just as we've done in previous years."





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lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

What difference does it make if one or the other, both or neither event has alcohol?

This isn't about which party will be "better", or if either will.

It's about setting an event on the same day as another event--when you just planned yours this morning, and the other event was scheduled for a YEAR--and then expecting people to drop their plans to accommodate you, and being mad if they don't, which my sister and my mom most certainly will be.

I would love to go to both--but we are making wings for this part and are among the hosts. Other people are depending on us to do our part.


 You can do both. 

You just don't want to.


 No, he can't abandon a planned event with 50 guests when he is the host to go attend a last-minute impromptu dinner.  

 

That is ridiculous.



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Lawyerlady wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

What difference does it make if one or the other, both or neither event has alcohol?

This isn't about which party will be "better", or if either will.

It's about setting an event on the same day as another event--when you just planned yours this morning, and the other event was scheduled for a YEAR--and then expecting people to drop their plans to accommodate you, and being mad if they don't, which my sister and my mom most certainly will be.

I would love to go to both--but we are making wings for this part and are among the hosts. Other people are depending on us to do our part.


 You can do both. 

You just don't want to.


 No, he can't abandon a planned event with 50 guests when he is the host to go attend a last-minute impromptu dinner.  

 

That is ridiculous.


 It'd take all of 30-45 minutes. 

 



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huskerbb wrote:

I'm pretty sure Miss Manners would back me up on this one--even without the formal invites sent out in the mail. It's not like my sister sent out anything other than a text message from my mom this morning.


 As much as I think the real MM would be horrified at agreeing with you, I'm sure she would.  You are correct, your sis wants to do one thing, and that is ok she just can't expect everyone to drop their plans and come running.



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Lily that's silly. Come on now. I don't believe for a minute that you would leave a party your hosting to go to another party.
That's just not done

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Of course, we are all still here discussing this issue while Husker is at his party and he didn't leave us any wings!

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Wahhhhh. I want wings and blue cheese dressing!!

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Mellow Momma wrote:

Yeah - it's definitely more important to take a stand on when a chicken wing party is happening than it is to celebrate birthdays with family. Totally the hill I would die on. I mean, it isn't like celebrating birthdays with family is important or anything.


 I think that is very unfair.  He plans and has the same party every year.



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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:

Yeah - it's definitely more important to take a stand on when a chicken wing party is happening than it is to celebrate birthdays with family. Totally the hill I would die on. I mean, it isn't like celebrating birthdays with family is important or anything.


 I think that is very unfair.  He plans and has the same party every year.


 And already has a bunch of people planning to come.



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I hate wings.

Poor husker....

Hope they were able to reach a compromise.

flan

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