TOTALLY GEEKED!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

LL and the lawyers.

Honeys_Mom · Mod & Permanent Board Sweetheart

Pictures, documentation and more documentation! It will come in handy in court.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

I'm not a lawyer but I second HM. I think their safety will be very important to the visitation portion of the divorce.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Oh good gosh, he needs to be biotch slapped up the back of the head. Is he that ignorant or doesn't he care?

What Honeys_mom said.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I didn't even think about that. I will definitely tell her that. I've been trying to get her to go get financial assistance. He is currently giving her $150/month to pay rent, utilities, and buy groceries. She needs help.

Honeys_Mom · Mod & Permanent Board Sweetheart

NJN, I hope your friend is the documenting type. Seriously, just saying it happened one way or another counts for nothing. But having a document that you've put together, like a diary, with dates and what happened, could be invaluable to her. I hope she does ok; what a creep the guy must be. cry

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

just Czech wrote:
Oh good gosh, he needs to be biotch slapped up the back of the head. Is he that ignorant or doesn't he care?

What Honeys_mom said.

I think it's some of both. She was a SAHM so this is a huge thing for her. He belittles her all the time. She is a timid little mouse. She really needs you Czech. I try to be blunt but I can't pull it off. She needs someone like you to come in and tell her exactly what is and that she needs to wake up. He filed for divorce but nothing has gone through. She has no money so she went to see HIS lawyer. HIS lawyer told her not to worry about the divorce. HE would take care of everything. I told her she needs to go to legal aid pronto.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Honeys_Mom wrote:
NJN, I hope your friend is the documenting type. Seriously, just saying it happened one way or another counts for nothing. But having a document that you've put together, like a diary, with dates and what happened, could be invaluable to her. I hope she does ok; what a creep the guy must be.

I don't think she is but I will definitely tell her. I was so focused on helping her with finances that I didn't even think of this.

Honeys_Mom · Mod & Permanent Board Sweetheart

Seeing HIS attorney? Oh dear Lord...

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Honeys_Mom wrote:
Seeing HIS attorney? Oh dear Lord...

YEESSSSSSSSSSSS!! I know! I said the same thing. I told her. Dear Lord girl, WHAT are you thinking?

FNW · Guru

She should notify her attorney and he/she can tell the courts and ensure there is something in the agreement. And isn't it the law in your state? We have a click-it or ticket law.

I would think there would be some child endangerment issues here, too...perhaps limited (supervised) visitation?

huskerbb · Guru

OMFG. How did anyone survive the 70's?

We didn't have car seats. We rode in the back of the pickup all the time.

Oh the horror. How did anyone make it out alive? All of our parents must have been terrible.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

FNW wrote:
She should notify her attorney and he/she can tell the courts and ensure there is something in the agreement. And isn't it the law in your state? We have a click-it or ticket law.

I would think there would be some child endangerment issues here, too...perhaps limited (supervised) visitation?

Yes, it's the law. She double checked just to make sure. She doesn't have her own lawyer yet. I'm working on making her get one.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
OMFG. How did anyone survive the 70's?

We didn't have car seats. We rode in the back of the pickup all the time.

Oh the horror. How did anyone make it out alive? All of our parents must have been terrible.

Get a grip. We LEARNED how to protect kids.

Have cars changed since the Model-T?

flan

Ohfour · Hooker

huskerbb wrote:
OMFG. How did anyone survive the 70's?

We didn't have car seats. We rode in the back of the pickup all the time.

Oh the horror. How did anyone make it out alive? All of our parents must have been terrible.

I'm gonna agree with you here. Seriously? Ridiculous.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

If he is on the lease, he is responsible for the rent. If his name is on the utilities, he has to pay them to. The GF should not be staying in that house. she should go for an emergency court order for support and custody ToMORROW

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

And she needs to remove and put in a safe place all records of bank accounts, salary, retirement, etc. And remove any items from the house non kid related that she wants. plus any personal valuables BEFORE and court filings are made plus take half of any money in bank accounts and keep all record of such transactions.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
If he is on the lease, he is responsible for the rent. If his name is on the utilities, he has to pay them to. The GF should not be staying in that house. she should go for an emergency court order for support and custody ToMORROW

I told her this. AND he's already drained their bank account. Cleaned it out. She has nothing.

FNW · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
FNW wrote:
She should notify her attorney and he/she can tell the courts and ensure there is something in the agreement. And isn't it the law in your state? We have a click-it or ticket law.

I would think there would be some child endangerment issues here, too...perhaps limited (supervised) visitation?
Yes, it's the law. She double checked just to make sure. She doesn't have her own lawyer yet. I'm working on making her get one.

She might be able to seek legal aid if she doesn't have any money. There are lawyers who will take cases pro bono...for free. It's a way to give back.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
If he is on the lease, he is responsible for the rent. If his name is on the utilities, he has to pay them to. The GF should not be staying in that house. she should go for an emergency court order for support and custody ToMORROW
I told her this. AND he's already drained their bank account. Cleaned it out. She has nothing.

He has to give half back. She needs a statement showing the balance before the withdrawal, the withdrawal, and balance after. And she should apply for welfare, they should help her with legal counsel as in getting one.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
If he is on the lease, he is responsible for the rent. If his name is on the utilities, he has to pay them to. The GF should not be staying in that house. she should go for an emergency court order for support and custody ToMORROW
I told her this. AND he's already drained their bank account. Cleaned it out. She has nothing.
He has to give half back. She needs a statement showing the balance before the withdrawal, the withdrawal, and balance after. And she should apply for welfare, they should help her with legal counsel as in getting one.

I have been begging her to go get on welfare. She literally has nothing. I told her if she gets on welfare they will help her automatically. They will jump in and set support and temporary custody and visitation. I'm not sure why she's so hesitant. Welfare won't help with the divorce but they'll settle a lot of the issues pre divorce and they will direct her to legal aid who will do the actual divorce. I did not know he will have to give half of the money back. I'll tell her that.

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
OMFG. How did anyone survive the 70's?

We didn't have car seats. We rode in the back of the pickup all the time.

Oh the horror. How did anyone make it out alive? All of our parents must have been terrible.
Get a grip. We LEARNED how to protect kids.
Have cars changed since the Model-T?
flan

If we couldn't "protect" kids before--then how are we all here?

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
If he is on the lease, he is responsible for the rent. If his name is on the utilities, he has to pay them to. The GF should not be staying in that house. she should go for an emergency court order for support and custody ToMORROW
I told her this. AND he's already drained their bank account. Cleaned it out. She has nothing.
He has to give half back. She needs a statement showing the balance before the withdrawal, the withdrawal, and balance after. And she should apply for welfare, they should help her with legal counsel as in getting one.
I have been begging her to go get on welfare. She literally has nothing. I told her if she gets on welfare they will help her automatically. They will jump in and set support and temporary custody and visitation. I'm not sure why she's so hesitant. Welfare won't help with the divorce but they'll settle a lot of the issues pre divorce and they will direct her to legal aid who will do the actual divorce. I did not know he will have to give half of the money back. I'll tell her that.

Yep, being married, half the money is her's. He can't leave the house.marriage and take up with someone else and take all the money.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
If he is on the lease, he is responsible for the rent. If his name is on the utilities, he has to pay them to. The GF should not be staying in that house. she should go for an emergency court order for support and custody ToMORROW
I told her this. AND he's already drained their bank account. Cleaned it out. She has nothing.
He has to give half back. She needs a statement showing the balance before the withdrawal, the withdrawal, and balance after. And she should apply for welfare, they should help her with legal counsel as in getting one.
I have been begging her to go get on welfare. She literally has nothing. I told her if she gets on welfare they will help her automatically. They will jump in and set support and temporary custody and visitation. I'm not sure why she's so hesitant. Welfare won't help with the divorce but they'll settle a lot of the issues pre divorce and they will direct her to legal aid who will do the actual divorce. I did not know he will have to give half of the money back. I'll tell her that.
Yep, being married, half the money is her's. He can't leave the house.marriage and take up with someone else and take all the money.

Thank you. We're not really close but she surprised me not long ago because she brought me flowers. She said her mom died about two years ago and I remind her of her mom. I thought that was sweet and I don't think she has many friends so I've been trying to be nice and reach out to her.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
OMFG. How did anyone survive the 70's?

We didn't have car seats. We rode in the back of the pickup all the time.

Oh the horror. How did anyone make it out alive? All of our parents must have been terrible.
Get a grip. We LEARNED how to protect kids.
Have cars changed since the Model-T?
flan
If we couldn't "protect" kids before--then how are we all here?

We're actually not, husker, it's all a dream...

flan

ed11563 · Guru

"OMFG. How did anyone survive the 70's? "

not everyone did.

huskerbb · Guru

ed11563 wrote:
"OMFG. How did anyone survive the 70's? "

not everyone did.

Pretty much the same as now.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Accidents do happen, but if a tragedy can be prevented, especially with children, then protect the children.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

She needs a GOOD lawyer and NOW. And she needs to not be "nice". These are her kids we are talking about.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

just Czech wrote:
Accidents do happen, but if a tragedy can be prevented, especially with children, then protect the children.

This. Why take unnecessary risks?

Mary Zombie · Guru

Wow what a duck he is. Would she be entitled to more of the money since she has the kids ?
I hope she wakes up and goes after him.

huskerbb · Guru

Tignanello wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Accidents do happen, but if a tragedy can be prevented, especially with children, then protect the children.
This. Why take unnecessary risks?

That's dumb. It's a risk to ride a bike. Riding a bike is not necessary. So no one should ever ride a bike?

Riding horses is a risk. There is REALLY no reason for anyone to do that, or at least very few--so no one should do that?

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

huskerbb wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Accidents do happen, but if a tragedy can be prevented, especially with children, then protect the children.
This. Why take unnecessary risks?
That's dumb. It's a risk to ride a bike. Riding a bike is not necessary. So no one should ever ride a bike?
Riding horses is a risk. There is REALLY no reason for anyone to do that, or at least very few--so no one should do that?

Actually, riding bikes and horses IS a necessity for a lot of people. This is why metropolitan cities are developing bike lanes on their major roads. And how would ranchers do their work without horses when they have to get into difficult areas a great distance away that machinery can't get into?

Also, bikes are the primary mode of transportation for a lot of people - especially those for whom transit is not readily available. An avoidable risk would be biking without a helmet or riding a horse when your tack is in disrepair. Nice try. Next?

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

huskerbb wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Accidents do happen, but if a tragedy can be prevented, especially with children, then protect the children.
This. Why take unnecessary risks?
That's dumb. It's a risk to ride a bike. Riding a bike is not necessary. So no one should ever ride a bike?
Riding horses is a risk. There is REALLY no reason for anyone to do that, or at least very few--so no one should do that?

You are comparing the risk of a child being killed in a head on automobile accident to a bike accident?

Hmm, which is deadlier...

Silly comparison IMHO.

huskerbb · Guru

just Czech wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Accidents do happen, but if a tragedy can be prevented, especially with children, then protect the children.
This. Why take unnecessary risks?
That's dumb. It's a risk to ride a bike. Riding a bike is not necessary. So no one should ever ride a bike?
Riding horses is a risk. There is REALLY no reason for anyone to do that, or at least very few--so no one should do that?

You are comparing the risk of a child being killed in a head on automobile accident to a bike accident?
Hmm, which is deadlier...
Silly comparison IMHO.

You don't think a kid has ever been killed on a bike? LOL!!!

plus, riding a bike is more unnecessary than most car rides.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

huskerbb wrote:
just Czech wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Accidents do happen, but if a tragedy can be prevented, especially with children, then protect the children.
This. Why take unnecessary risks?
That's dumb. It's a risk to ride a bike. Riding a bike is not necessary. So no one should ever ride a bike?
Riding horses is a risk. There is REALLY no reason for anyone to do that, or at least very few--so no one should do that?

You are comparing the risk of a child being killed in a head on automobile accident to a bike accident?
Hmm, which is deadlier...
Silly comparison IMHO.
You don't think a kid has ever been killed on a bike? LOL!!!
plus, riding a bike is more unnecessary than most car rides.

Yes, kids have been killed on bikes, usually by a car hitting them. Duh

You are comparing oranges to apples.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

huskerbb wrote:
just Czech wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Accidents do happen, but if a tragedy can be prevented, especially with children, then protect the children.
This. Why take unnecessary risks?
That's dumb. It's a risk to ride a bike. Riding a bike is not necessary. So no one should ever ride a bike?
Riding horses is a risk. There is REALLY no reason for anyone to do that, or at least very few--so no one should do that?

You are comparing the risk of a child being killed in a head on automobile accident to a bike accident?
Hmm, which is deadlier...
Silly comparison IMHO.
You don't think a kid has ever been killed on a bike? LOL!!!
plus, riding a bike is more unnecessary than most car rides.

Again - there are a lot of places where this is not true. You need to look outside your immediate experience ... just once!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lawyerlady wrote:
She needs a GOOD lawyer and NOW. And she needs to not be "nice". These are her kids we are talking about.

She is apparently listening to me. She went down to legal aid and they told her it would be three weeks before they could get her a lawyer. So she just left. When I asked her why she said that her husband told her the divorce was going through by the end of this month whether she liked it or not. I told her to march her butt right back down to legal aid and file for a lawyer and that if her divorce goes to court she needs to go in with a copy of the application in hand and tell the judge she needs a continuance because she is working on getting a lawyer.

There is no way a judge is going to not allow her adequate time to get a lawyer. Her husband may want to steam roll her but he can't unless she allows it. And yes, I've told her she needs to pull up her big girl panties.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

huskerbb wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Accidents do happen, but if a tragedy can be prevented, especially with children, then protect the children.
This. Why take unnecessary risks?
That's dumb. It's a risk to ride a bike. Riding a bike is not necessary. So no one should ever ride a bike?
Riding horses is a risk. There is REALLY no reason for anyone to do that, or at least very few--so no one should do that?

My father forbid me from riding horses because it was too dangerous.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Been around horses since I was a baby. They are only dangerous when not respected.

But I'll pay good scratch to have someone else shoe one.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

lilyofcourse wrote:
Been around horses since I was a baby. They are only dangerous when not respected.

But I'll pay good scratch to have someone else shoe one.

My Dad's grandfather was a blacksmith & farrier. My dad spent his summers helping him around the farm. I think that is where his distrust of horses came from. He probably saw a few kicking while getting shoes.

huskerbb · Guru

Tignanello wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
just Czech wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Accidents do happen, but if a tragedy can be prevented, especially with children, then protect the children.
This. Why take unnecessary risks?
That's dumb. It's a risk to ride a bike. Riding a bike is not necessary. So no one should ever ride a bike?
Riding horses is a risk. There is REALLY no reason for anyone to do that, or at least very few--so no one should do that?

You are comparing the risk of a child being killed in a head on automobile accident to a bike accident?
Hmm, which is deadlier...
Silly comparison IMHO.
You don't think a kid has ever been killed on a bike? LOL!!!
plus, riding a bike is more unnecessary than most car rides.
Again - there are a lot of places where this is not true. You need to look outside your immediate experience ... just once!

most kids aren't in "a lot of places". Most kids are where they don't need to ride a bike.

huskerbb · Guru

just Czech wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
just Czech wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Accidents do happen, but if a tragedy can be prevented, especially with children, then protect the children.
This. Why take unnecessary risks?
That's dumb. It's a risk to ride a bike. Riding a bike is not necessary. So no one should ever ride a bike?
Riding horses is a risk. There is REALLY no reason for anyone to do that, or at least very few--so no one should do that?

You are comparing the risk of a child being killed in a head on automobile accident to a bike accident?
Hmm, which is deadlier...
Silly comparison IMHO.
You don't think a kid has ever been killed on a bike? LOL!!!
plus, riding a bike is more unnecessary than most car rides.
Yes, kids have been killed on bikes, usually by a car hitting them. Duh
You are comparing oranges to apples.

So what? They are still dead because of an unnecessary activity.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

huskerbb wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
just Czech wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Accidents do happen, but if a tragedy can be prevented, especially with children, then protect the children.
This. Why take unnecessary risks?
That's dumb. It's a risk to ride a bike. Riding a bike is not necessary. So no one should ever ride a bike?
Riding horses is a risk. There is REALLY no reason for anyone to do that, or at least very few--so no one should do that?

You are comparing the risk of a child being killed in a head on automobile accident to a bike accident?
Hmm, which is deadlier...
Silly comparison IMHO.
You don't think a kid has ever been killed on a bike? LOL!!!
plus, riding a bike is more unnecessary than most car rides.
Again - there are a lot of places where this is not true. You need to look outside your immediate experience ... just once!
most kids aren't in "a lot of places". Most kids are where they don't need to ride a bike.

1. your post wasn't about kids. It quite clearly said 'ANYONE'. So flipping your argument to 'kids' at this point is trying to distract from your own being wrong. Also, there are a lot of kids (apparently outside your immediate experience, which actually IS a thing) are in places where they rely on bikes to get to and from school, after school jobs, friends houses, etc. So, 'most' is a generalization that doesn't apply if you take your blinders off. Just for a second.

huskerbb · Guru

Most absolutely applies. We are talking about the US, not China.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
She needs a GOOD lawyer and NOW. And she needs to not be "nice". These are her kids we are talking about.
She is apparently listening to me. She went down to legal aid and they told her it would be three weeks before they could get her a lawyer. So she just left. When I asked her why she said that her husband told her the divorce was going through by the end of this month whether she liked it or not. I told her to march her butt right back down to legal aid and file for a lawyer and that if her divorce goes to court she needs to go in with a copy of the application in hand and tell the judge she needs a continuance because she is working on getting a lawyer.
There is no way a judge is going to not allow her adequate time to get a lawyer. Her husband may want to steam roll her but he can't unless she allows it. And yes, I've told her she needs to pull up her big girl panties.

Oh, and he never really took the kids before now. I'm fairly sure his lawyer told him to not just walk off and not get the kids. There was also an issue once of her driving by the house repeatedly and all four kids were inside the house and the husband and his g/f were sitting in the car making out for about half and hour. I told her point blank to quit driving by. One, he'll claim she's stalking him and two, it'll drive her batty. I'm not here to argue seat belt laws. They are laws and you must follow them. I don't think his children's safety is his biggest concern at this point.

Honeys_Mom · Mod & Permanent Board Sweetheart

NJN, I'm repeating what you already frustratingly know, but your friend needs a keeper. cry

It's a shame; she has a lot of power because of the children and his behavior, but she is refusing to use it and instead... choosing to be a victim.

Cheerios4606 · Guru

This woman needs to have a serious sit down chat with another woman that was just as timid and stupid when she went through a divorce, to show her how royally screwed she got in the end. It is one thing to be told "dear, you need your OWN laywer" and "I didnt get my own lawyer and now I am on the line for over 150K in debt while my ex got the house, car and summer retreat."

apple · Guru

Cheerios4606 wrote:
This woman needs to have a serious sit down chat with another woman that was just as timid and stupid when she went through a divorce, to show her how royally screwed she got in the end. It is one thing to be told "dear, you need your OWN laywer" and "I didnt get my own lawyer and now I am on the line for over 150K in debt while my ex got the house, car and summer retreat."

THIS. She needs to start thinking differently, don't be passive and get aggressive...maybe even ANGRY!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Ugh, thanks all! I am so frustrated and getting angry with her. I am not nice when I tell her. I'm very honest and blunt. She really does need a sit down with someone like that. She is so damn mousy. It drives me nuts. She needs a kick in the pants. Literally and figuratively.

After I talked to her about going BACK to legal aid she called her husband's attorney AGAIN. facepalm She asked him if she went to legal aid and applied for a lawyer would they give her time to get one before they hear the case. HIS lawyer said yes. Her husband said no he's not waiting. Too damn bad for him. I can only wonder what his lawyer is thinking about her. Fortunately there is not much to screw her out of.