TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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I am not saying you jump whenever she calls. Seems like the live in sis could easily pick her up. But she asked you. Maybe she just wants you to come.

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 Yes you are.  Mom can easily get another ride home.  ST doesn't live just around the corner.  Mom is not an invalid or going in for a medical procedure that will leave her helpless.  I get when people get older they want to be cared for, but there will be more urgent situations where it will be NEEDED.  This is not one of those situations.  I know when I've pushed my mother to do things she would prefer someone to do for her, it actually helps her feel more independent.  Independence is quickly lost when one gets older, making her do something such as a taxi ride will actually help her feel more confident. BTW my mother is 85.

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

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FNW wrote:

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I would tell sister to do it and if she refused, arrange for a driver to come get her. You live an hour away, it's not convenient, and you have plans.

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 It isn't even about convenience.  Mom is going in for tests which amount to no more than a normal doc appointment, no reason why she can't take a taxi home.  To drive that far is absolutely ridiculous and rude of Mom to even think that should be an option.

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 Seriously.  Drive an HOUR for a 5 minute drive?  No way.  No considerate person would even consider asking.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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TrudyML wrote:

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There is a sister that lives with Mom. They are in a tiff. So SW cancels plans, has to drive over two hours in total to deliver Mom to the house where the sister is at? C'mon!

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 Well, you can't control what someone else should or shouldn't do.  You can only control what you do.  

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 Sage advice.  Mom should take it.  

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 Shw should.   But rational doesn't always come into play.  Going home from the hospital may seem qualitatively different to her than going home from the doctor.  

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 Well, considering there is nothing wrong with her, that feeling should not cause another person to have to dump plans and jump when mom snaps her fingers.  

 

I would go get mom and take her home but that's just how my family works.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Again do whatever you want to do
. We don't know what is best for you. Obviously there is no serious issue here and she's fine. But there is nothing wrong with going out of your way for your mother either even though it seems silly.

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 Yes there is.

It's called, "Crying WOLF".

To guilt one of your children, over nothing, is a big, SHAME ON MOM!

If ST caves on this...she'll be her mother's slave.

Forever more.

Her older sister, lives with her mother.

She should pick up Mom.

Younger sister took Mom to the hospital.

Older sister, can pick her up.

ST has plans with her family.

I wouldn't cancel over this.

Again, just my humble opinion.

(And, my Mom is 92. And drives herself to the doctor, grocery store, keeps her own house, etc. My sister Monica, is 74. Trudy turns 73, in July. LGS, have you ever even known, an elderly person? My guess is, probably not. If you think 75 is old...get a grip.)

 

Fort Worth Mom wrote:

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Again do whatever you want to do
. We don't know what is best for you. Obviously there is no serious issue here and she's fine. But there is nothing wrong with going out of your way for your mother either even though it seems silly.

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 Yes there is.

It's called, "Crying WOLF".

To guilt one of your children, over nothing, is a big, SHAME ON MOM!

If ST caves on this...she'll be her mother's slave.

Forever more.

Her older sister, lives with her mother.

She should pick up Mom.

Younger sister took Mom to the hospital.

Older sister, can pick her up.

ST has plans with her family.

I wouldn't cancel over this.

Again, just my humble opinion.

(And, my Mom is 92. And drives herself to the doctor, grocery store, keeps her own house, etc. My sister Monica, is 74. Trudy turns 73, in July. LGS, have you ever even known, an elderly person? My guess is, probably not. If you think 75 is old...get a grip.)

 

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 My mom passed away at 83.  So yeah. 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Fort Worth Mom wrote:

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Again do whatever you want to do
. We don't know what is best for you. Obviously there is no serious issue here and she's fine. But there is nothing wrong with going out of your way for your mother either even though it seems silly.

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 Yes there is.

It's called, "Crying WOLF".

To guilt one of your children, over nothing, is a big, SHAME ON MOM!

If ST caves on this...she'll be her mother's slave.

Forever more.

Her older sister, lives with her mother.

She should pick up Mom.

Younger sister took Mom to the hospital.

Older sister, can pick her up.

ST has plans with her family.

I wouldn't cancel over this.

Again, just my humble opinion.

(And, my Mom is 92. And drives herself to the doctor, grocery store, keeps her own house, etc. My sister Monica, is 74. Trudy turns 73, in July. LGS, have you ever even known, an elderly person? My guess is, probably not. If you think 75 is old...get a grip.)

 

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 My mom passed away at 83.  So yeah. 

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She died young.

I'm sorry for your loss.

And even sorrier, that you consider 75, old. 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Wow. Never mind.

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Good answer.

You don't know straight up, about dealing with "Old people".

I do.

 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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I wouldn't view picking up my mother at the hospital as a serious imposition. But if you do then i guess you do.

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I live 1300 miles away from my Mother.

She's an independent, capable person.

Want to try again? 

Who knew picking your mom up at the hospital was such a terrible controversy?

Not sure why you are so hostile about it so whatevs.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Not sure why you are so hostile about it so whatevs.

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Hostile?

No.

Just sick of people who think they know better, than everyone else.

Yes, that would be you. 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Ok? I gave my opinion which is the point. Then you accused me of not knowing any elderly people.

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No. You didn't.

It seemed like a person, of 75 years old, seems elderly, to you.

You tried to shame sweet tooth into dropping her plans, with her husband and daughter.

To run her butt off, to pick her Mom up at the hospital.

And blow off her plans, with her husband, and daughter.

When her older sister who, lives with their Mom, won't take 5 minutes, to pick Mom up?

She lives 5 minutes away, from the hospital.

Really, LGS?

 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Did you read all my posts? I said that it would make sense to call the sister. But i also see nothing wrong to pick her up either.

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Did you read, all my posts?

I'm guessing not.

No. You don't blow off a family day, because Mom had a tiff, with the sister that lives with her.

And lives 5 minutes away from the hospital.

Bunk!

Cab fare? Uber?

I'd tell the old girl, to walk home. 

Fort Worth Mom wrote:

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Did you read all my posts? I said that it would make sense to call the sister. But i also see nothing wrong to pick her up either.

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Did you read, all my posts?

I'm guessing not.

No. You don't blow off a family day, because Mom had a tiff, with the sister that lives with her.

And lives 5 minutes away from the hospital.

Bunk!

Cab fare? Uber?

I'd tell the old girl, to walk home. 

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 You can do whatever you want.  I wouldn't treat my mother that way.  

The conversation would be "Honey, can you pick me up at the hospital tomorrow"? Yeah, OK mom what time?". That would be pretty much be the end of it.

The fact that Mom REFUSES to take a cab says volumes.

flan

To be fair my parents were really active in their early eighties and I knew people in their sixties in worse shape. The issue for me is that one sister lives with her and it shouldn't have occurred to call someone an hour away to pick her up. If she were all alone that would be different.

Gaga I know what you mean. My parents were seemingly doing great then the decline seemed extreme and almost overnight  

 

-- Edited by Mary Zombie on Wednesday 15th of June 2016 09:48:50 AM

-- Edited by Mary Zombie on Wednesday 15th of June 2016 09:50:10 AM

lilyofcourse wrote:

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I don't see why a child would not go pick their mom up at the hospital.

Heck, I wonder why daughter wasn't already at the hospital with mom.

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 The OP has your answers:

My mother, 75 years old, went to the hospital for tests. Her doctor told her to go to the ER for testing because her red blood cell count was low. She felt fine but the doctor said it could indicate a problem. My sister left work to bring her there. I don't know why my mother didn't drive herself, the hospital is about 5 minutes from her house. She wasn't too sick to drive, she felt normal. They tested her for internal bleeding and didn't find any, but decided to keep her there overnight. Well, now it turns out there is very slight rectal bleeding, nothing to be worried about they said, but they want to do a couple more tests just to find out the reason, so she might stay one more night, which would mean she would leave tomorrow.  Well, tomorrow my husband, my daughter and myself all took the day off of work with plans to go to the city to visit a couple of museums and have lunch. My mother wants a ride home from the hospital. My sister who took her to the hospital can't do it because of a previous obligation that can't be changed. My mother won't ask my older sister, even though they live together, because they had a fight. I live an hour away from my mother. She doesn't want to take a cab, because she "just doesn't like them". My question is, do I have to cancel our trip to the city, drive an hour down to the hospital, drive my mother 5 MINUTES home, and then drive an hour back, just so she doesn't have to take a cab?

flan

lilyofcourse wrote:

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Yeah.

I'd be at the hospital with my mom if my dad was unable to be there for her.

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 Does she live with another sibling?

Do YOU live an hour away?

Is she there for minor tests?

flan

lilyofcourse wrote:

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None of that matters.

Not to me. Not to us.

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 That's FINE, but you seemed to have a problem understanding sweet tooth's position.

flan

My mother? I'd be there in a heartbeat. But we live closer to each other, and she would not ask me for help. She wouldn't expect me to drop everything and help.

SIL wanted DH to leave his job, his two sick children, and drive 3 1/2 hours to take MIL to chemo, so she could go to the Poconos with friends. He refused.

Every family dynamic is different.

Does DH regret not dropping everything to be her Uber driver? Nope. Does he miss his mother? I'm sure he does. But he made daily phone calls (until she told him to stop calling her) and several visits during her last few months.

lilyofcourse wrote:

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No. I dont.

I don't agree with it.

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So it doesn't matter that 3 people (myself, husband and daughter) took a day off of work and I have a sister that lives with my mother, 5 minutes from the hospital? If my sister picked her up, it would take about 15 minutes total out of her day. If I did it, it would change the plans of 3 people for the whole day. If you were the mother in this situation, would you ask one of your kids to do that, if another one of your kids was right there to do it instead,(but you had a fight with the one who was right there)? I really would love to hear what you and also Lady Gaga Snerd would do if you were the mother in this situation.

Ok, I understand. But just so everyone knows, I do take her to doctor's appointments. Lots of them, even though they are all far away from me. I just didn't want to do this one because of the previous plans.