TOTALLY GEEKED!

Ohfour · Hooker

RE: Dear Prudence: Daughter Wants Late Term Abortion

Lindley · Guru

I hope she isn't doing this to be vindictive to the husband.

apple · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
This woman is grieving her marriage and not making a rational decision. This would haunt her.

As her mother, I would tell her I'd help raise the baby, but I would not help or support her in killing it.

She definitely needs some support and counselling.

apple · Guru

Lindley wrote:
I hope she isn't doing this to be vindictive to the husband.

That is what I was thinking, how horrid.

Perhaps she just doesn't want to be "tied" for the rest of her life by sharing a child with him?

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

apple wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
This woman is grieving her marriage and not making a rational decision. This would haunt her.

As her mother, I would tell her I'd help raise the baby, but I would not help or support her in killing it.
She definitely needs some support and counselling.

If she chooses to kill her baby, she can go to a support group with other women facing the same regret and misery.

WYSIWYG · Guru

And what the hell states allow 3rd trimester abortions.
- Lawyerlady

___________________________

This is just a guess, but with her asking for financial help, I'm assuming she was planning a trip outside of US jurisdiction, to some country that allows it (or has black-market doctors willing to do it).

At this point, if she doesn't want the child she should put it up for adoption. In most states I believe that the mothers rights supersede the rights of the father right up until birth (I could be wrong on this though). If I'm correct in my belief, then she could probably arrange for the adoption before the birth, taking the choice to fight it out of the hands of the father.

NAOW · Vette's SS

apple wrote:
Lindley wrote:
I hope she isn't doing this to be vindictive to the husband.
That is what I was thinking, how horrid.
Perhaps she just doesn't want to be "tied" for the rest of her life by sharing a child with him?

That's my guess.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

NAOW wrote:
apple wrote:
Lindley wrote:
I hope she isn't doing this to be vindictive to the husband.
That is what I was thinking, how horrid.
Perhaps she just doesn't want to be "tied" for the rest of her life by sharing a child with him?
That's my guess.

I agree. Obviously that is not the child's fault.

I hope she gets counseling.

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Ohfour wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Cheerios4606 wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
If she gives him the baby, and signs away her parental rights, would she have to pay child support?
In my humble opinion YES SHE SHOULD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not legally. If the father agrees to her signing away her parental rights, then I don't know if she has to pay child support. But she should.
Yep, I know of a couple of dads that signed away their rights to get out of child support.

I think that only works to get out of child support when it's done b/c another man is wanting to adopt the child and take over the responsibility.

Ohfour · Hooker

Lawyerlady wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Cheerios4606 wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
If she gives him the baby, and signs away her parental rights, would she have to pay child support?
In my humble opinion YES SHE SHOULD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not legally. If the father agrees to her signing away her parental rights, then I don't know if she has to pay child support. But she should.
Yep, I know of a couple of dads that signed away their rights to get out of child support.
I think that only works to get out of child support when it's done b/c another man is wanting to adopt the child and take over the responsibility.

You are probably right. Both instances I know of, that is exactly what happened...

FNW · Guru

My uncle signed away his rights in exchange she would not go after support. I think parties can agree to whatever they want, as long as it's legal. I don't think it's any different than giving a child up for adoption, only this way the child is with their biological parent.

If she gives up rights, why should she have to pay support?

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

FNW wrote:
My uncle signed away his rights in exchange she would not go after support. I think parties can agree to whatever they want, as long as it's legal. I don't think it's any different than giving a child up for adoption, only this way the child is with their biological parent.

If she gives up rights, why should she have to pay support?

That's all well and good if the one parent can support the child themself. But that kind of agreement won't stand up if they goes on public support. Child support if for the child - not the parent, so technically a parent can't just give up the child's right to support on their behalf when it is needed.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I have to be honest - I'd be so upset if this was my daughter, both with her and myself. I mean, I would feel devastated that I seriously failed in raising her if she's willing to do this for all the very selfish reasons that seem to be the motive.

FNW · Guru

I didn't see anything here that indicated the father couldn't support the child. But I guess that would be an issue the court would need to decide in granting a termination of responsibility to wife.

Ohfour · Hooker

Lawyerlady wrote:
I have to be honest - I'd be so upset if this was my daughter, both with her and myself. I mean, I would feel devastated that I seriously failed in raising her if she's willing to do this for all the very selfish reasons that seem to be the motive.

Exactly. I would feel like a total failure...

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

FNW wrote:
I didn't see anything here that indicated the father couldn't support the child. But I guess that would be an issue the court would need to decide in granting a termination of responsibility to wife.

The circumstances now may not always be the same. Our judges here would say no. They can't make the dad enforce child support and many people do this without getting the courts involved. But people should not rely on the agreement between them to get them out of child support forever. What if they become unemployed, disabled, or die? And parental rights and child support are two different things. You can have your rights terminated and still owe support. You can owe support and not have your rights terminated.

apple · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
apple wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
This woman is grieving her marriage and not making a rational decision. This would haunt her.

As her mother, I would tell her I'd help raise the baby, but I would not help or support her in killing it.
She definitely needs some support and counselling.

If she chooses to kill her baby, she can go to a support group with other women facing the same regret and misery.

She needs counseling now, in order to make a sensible choice and not one of malice.

Tinydancer · Guru

The choice is kill YOUR baby or don't kill YOUR baby. No counseling needed for that.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

apple wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
apple wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
This woman is grieving her marriage and not making a rational decision. This would haunt her.

As her mother, I would tell her I'd help raise the baby, but I would not help or support her in killing it.
She definitely needs some support and counselling.

If she chooses to kill her baby, she can go to a support group with other women facing the same regret and misery.
She needs counseling now, in order to make a sensible choice and not one of malice.

Oh, I agree with that. She does need counseling to understand the sensible choice. But she sounds pretty set on what she is doing and she is an adult. How do you propose mom make her go to counseling?

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

She needs help. She is not thinking clearly. Possibly hormonal. Definitely vindictive to her ex. She will deeply regret this if she aborts now. I feel bad for her.

My friend told her ex she would not go after child support if he agreed to stay out of their son's life. He agreed. The boy has met him once by accident but had no idea he was his father.

apple · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
The choice is kill YOUR baby or don't kill YOUR baby. No counseling needed for that.

She just wants the pregnancy gone because she can't deal with it.

Why can't she deal with it.... well a counselor might help her with that question.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I will NEVER understand that mindset.

Tinydancer · Guru

Doesn't matter. Killing her baby will solve nothing and it's already late in her pregnancy. She'd have the kid before counseling would do a damn bit of good.

apple · Guru

"You can either make having one more difficult for her, or you can help. That choice, at least, is yours alone."

That is the truth. She is a grown woman and can make up her own mind about what she wants to do. All her mother can do is offer advice and decide if she will participate in this or not.

Tinydancer · Guru

I would never help my daughter kill my grandchild so she can have it as difficult as it gets. Killing your baby shouldn't be easy.

apple · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
I would never help my daughter kill my grandchild so she can have it as difficult as it gets. Killing your baby shouldn't be easy.

Historically we know that if a woman does not want to go through with a pregnancy, she will find a way to end it, legal or not legal. Thats not really the issue here is it? The issue is how does the mom handle the situation.

Tinydancer · Guru

I don't know how that mom will handle it but I just told you how I would.

apple · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
I don't know how that mom will handle it but I just told you how I would.

I wouldn't want any part of it either. It must be devastating...

Tinydancer · Guru

I don't agree with an abortion for any reason except for danger to the mothers health if she continues her pregnancy.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

apple wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
I would never help my daughter kill my grandchild so she can have it as difficult as it gets. Killing your baby shouldn't be easy.
Historically we know that if a woman does not want to go through with a pregnancy, she will find a way to end it, legal or not legal. Thats not really the issue here is it? The issue is how does the mom handle the situation.

The daughter wants mom to help pay for it. NO WAY IN HELL.

apple · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
apple wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
I would never help my daughter kill my grandchild so she can have it as difficult as it gets. Killing your baby shouldn't be easy.
Historically we know that if a woman does not want to go through with a pregnancy, she will find a way to end it, legal or not legal. Thats not really the issue here is it? The issue is how does the mom handle the situation.

The daughter wants mom to help pay for it. NO WAY IN HELL.

What a HORRIBLE position to put her mother in. No way would I pay for it either.