DEAR AMY: I have a sister who is much younger than I am. I’m now in my late 30s, she’s in her early 20s, and we live on opposite sides of the country. Because of the difference in age, we never really connected much as we were growing up. It has only been recently that we began exchanging emails or connecting on social media. She casually mentioned that she’d like to come visit, so I offered to pay for her airfare and hotel, and then sent her the money. She gladly accepted, and then a few days later sent me an email asking if she could bring a friend along with her, because her friend had never been to this part of the country before. I was bothered by this, and told her no, that I’d prefer it if it was just her, and that I wanted the two of us to spend some time together for once in our lives. I got a surprisingly angry response, where she told me that she’s no longer planning on visiting, because I was clearly not welcoming to her friend, and she didn’t want to be around my “negativity.” She made no mention of the money that I sent her, and has not responded to any subsequent emails, calls or text messages since. I told our mother about this, and her response was that she would reimburse me for the money herself, and to basically “drop it” to preserve the peace. Even after declining her offer, she seems to want me to forget this entire thing. This bothers me on so many levels. Any suggestions on how to respond?
Frustrated with Family
DEAR FRUSTRATED: My instinct is that one reason your sister responded the way she did is because your mother would rather clean up her mess than dive in to mediate and correct her.
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
Can't you book and pay for flights and hotels online?
Why didn't she do that?
Then she wouldn't have been out the money.
Little sis sounds like a typical early 20 something.
Still not completely independent.
Think she wanted to bring a friend because she is uncomfortable traveling alone?
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
