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Lexxy


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I am terrified - Court
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I have been asked to go to court & testify as a witness in a custody battle.  They do not have time to subpoena me so I cannot be forced but morally I should.  The life of a 4 yo may sort of rest in my hands.  If I don't testify the father will get visitation & he is a very scary man.  I am terrified he might come after me if I testify.  He may not even have the wherewithal to bother.  It just depends on how angry he is.  I just got off the phone with the attorney & I am shaking like a leaf even after huffing down two smokes.



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Ohfour


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Oh honey. I can't even imagine. I will pray wisdom and peace over you...
(((hugs)))

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Tinydancer


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That stinks Lexxy but I'm sure you'll do the right thing.

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Fort Worth Mom


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Oh my, that's awful, Lexxy.

What a spot to be in.cry

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.



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TrudyML


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Ugh. Drink tonight but know if you take this on you are doing the right thing. Save this little one! That Ass needs a cap in his arse!

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apple


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OH hells bells.... that sucks lexxy, how horrible for you. :(

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lilyofcourse


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Think about it like this.

You are an adult.

If ANYTHING you say can help keep a 4 year old from feeling what you are feeling right now, wouldn't you want to stop that from happening?

And really, all you have to do is directly answer each question.

Don't elaborate.

Like O4, I'll pray for you.


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Lexxy


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Thanks guys. I know I need to step up. I'm just scared. But know if something bad happens to the child I won't be able to forgive myself if I didn't try to help.

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apple


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Lexxy wrote:

Thanks guys. I know I need to step up. I'm just scared. But know if something bad happens to the child I won't be able to forgive myself if I didn't try to help.

 It is a horrible position to be put in. The man sounds deranged and I don't blame you for being scared. I wish there was something I could do or say to make it better. :(



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Honeys_Mom


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Lexxy wrote:

Thanks guys. I know I need to step up. I'm just scared. But know if something bad happens to the child I won't be able to forgive myself if I didn't try to help.

 You're in my prayers, Lexxy.  I had to testify against my ex during his trial for hitting my dad.  I was concerned about retaliation as well.  



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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That is scary! And, scary for the child as well.

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TrudyML


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Lexxy wrote:

Thanks guys. I know I need to step up. I'm just scared. But know if something bad happens to the child I won't be able to forgive myself if I didn't try to help.

We are here for you.  You are strong!  You got this! 



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Momala


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how long before you have to be in court? Hours? A day?

I'd make sure I voiced my fears of retaliation to the attorney who has called upon you.

Stay strong - a child is counting on you.

Hugs.



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Doing the right thing is often not easy.

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Lexxy


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Momala wrote:

how long before you have to be in court? Hours? A day?

I'd make sure I voiced my fears of retaliation to the attorney who has called upon you.

Stay strong - a child is counting on you.

Hugs.

Tuesday morning.

I did tell the attorney & he said that works to the benefit of his client & he is going to ask me that on the stand so it is part of the record.  He also said he could ask a bailiff to escort me out of court but that isn't necessary.  I seriously doubt he is going to jump up in court & try to do anything.  I am more worried he will show up at my house sometime later.  This is a low level drug thug  that is known to walk around with a gun. 



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I know what to do_sometimes


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Lexxy, the chances he will retaliate against you are pretty slim, against your friend, a lot more. Can you ask the attorney to get you a RO?

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Lexxy


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I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

Lexxy, the chances he will retaliate against you are pretty slim, against your friend, a lot more. Can you ask the attorney to get you a RO?

I'm sure I could.  Thanks, I never even thought of that.

I keep telling myself this guy is a pot head & by nature they tend to be lazy & won't even put in the effort to retaliate. 



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Momala


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Lexxy ~

Do you have a good working relationship with your local police/sheriff's office? If so, you could go to their offices and explain your fear of retaliation, and ask that they include your home in frequent patrols. That way, if anything should happen - like slashed tires, or broken windows - they'll know exactly where to start looking. And a restraining order is a very good idea.

More hugs!



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Lawyerlady


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Tell the attorney to give you a subpoena, anyway, even though they are outside the right notice. That way - you have the illusion of having been subpoenaed as a defense to any crap he gives you.

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LawyerLady

 

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Momala wrote:

Lexxy ~

Do you have a good working relationship with your local police/sheriff's office? If so, you could go to their offices and explain your fear of retaliation, and ask that they include your home in frequent patrols. That way, if anything should happen - like slashed tires, or broken windows - they'll know exactly where to start looking. And a restraining order is a very good idea.

More hugs!

 This is a good idea.  I did that when my ex was stalking me and pulling his crap.



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Lawyerlady wrote:

Tell the attorney to give you a subpoena, anyway, even though they are outside the right notice. That way - you have the illusion of having been subpoenaed as a defense to any crap he gives you.

 Oh good idea!



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FNW


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Prayers are with you.

Keep an eye over your shoulder. If anything...I mean anything...seems out of sorts, do not hesitate to call the police. And let your neighbors know so they can keep a watch out.

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Lexxy


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Lawyerlady wrote:

Tell the attorney to give you a subpoena, anyway, even though they are outside the right notice. That way - you have the illusion of having been subpoenaed as a defense to any crap he gives you.

The attorney told me that if he subpoenaed me then the guy's attorney would get a copy & it would have my home address & make it easier for him to find me. 



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Nobody Just Nobody


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I will keep you in my thoughts and pray for you Lexxy.

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Tangerine


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Hugs for you, lexxy. I know you will do your best in this situation. Stay strong.

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Lawyerlady


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Lexxy wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:

Tell the attorney to give you a subpoena, anyway, even though they are outside the right notice. That way - you have the illusion of having been subpoenaed as a defense to any crap he gives you.

The attorney told me that if he subpoenaed me then the guy's attorney would get a copy & it would have my home address & make it easier for him to find me. 

 Well, he is right about that.



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LawyerLady

 

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lilyofcourse


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Can't you give a deposition?



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Lexxy


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lilyofcourse wrote:

Can't you give a deposition?

I don't know how that works.  Some of what I know is hearsay but if I tell it on the stand it is acceptable because there are some loop holes in the rules.  He said the defense will mostly object to a lot of what I have to say but that most will stand.  That is a big part of what I'm worried about.  I think it will be very unnerving to hear them shout objection every time I say something.  And the other attorney might grill me.  He didn't say that, I am just afraid of it. 



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TrudyML


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you are strong. We got your back!

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Lexxy


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TrudyML wrote:

you are strong. We got your back!

Thanks.  You know what I'm going to be doing tonight for sure!  I'm hitting the liquor store on the way home just to make sure I don't run out! 

And thanks to everyone for caring & letting me vent.

 



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FNW


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Lexxy wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

Can't you give a deposition?

I don't know how that works.  Some of what I know is hearsay but if I tell it on the stand it is acceptable because there are some loop holes in the rules.  He said the defense will mostly object to a lot of what I have to say but that most will stand.  That is a big part of what I'm worried about.  I think it will be very unnerving to hear them shout objection every time I say something.  And the other attorney might grill me.  He didn't say that, I am just afraid of it. 

 There are many exceptions to the hearsay rule.  For instance, if you are repeating something he said, but it goes to show his state of mind, it's admissible.   If it was something said as the result of a startling event, it's an excited utterance and admissible.  If they object, pause, wait for the reason, listen to what your attorney says, wait for the judge to rule, then wait for your attorney to either ask it again or change the phrasing.  

I have noticed that most attorneys fail to object when they have reason to.  Why, I don't know.  Maybe they are afraid of looking like they are beating up the witness in front of the jury.  Personally, I don't think they are overly familiar with the rules of evidence and don't know they can.  I used to see it a lot in federal court and it drove me nuts.   I wanted to object from the galley.



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ed11563


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lilyofcourse wrote:

Think about it like this.

You are an adult.

If ANYTHING you say can help keep a 4 year old from feeling what you are feeling right now, wouldn't you want to stop that from happening?

And really, all you have to do is directly answer each question.

Don't elaborate.

Like O4, I'll pray for you.

One thing I learned in a bunch of depositions is,

Don't answer too quickly. Make SURE you understand the question.

Don't hesitate to ask for a clarification: "Could you rephrase the question?

I don't think I can answer it the way you asked it." (I've said that at least a dozen times. The other side's attorney

is paid to trick you.) Usually they will ask the question again using the exact same words. Give them the same response.

 

 



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ed11563


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And don't EVER try to "fix" their questions for them. They want you to do that, it's always a trap.

"I can't answer that the way you asked it."



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Lexxy


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Thanks for the good advice everyone.

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flan327


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Lexxy,

If I lived closer I would go to court with you & look mean.

flan

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Lawyerlady


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lilyofcourse wrote:

Can't you give a deposition?

 A deposition is not a substitute for testifying in court.  It is a means of discovery to find out what you know and what you will testify to.  It's also a good tool to trap people who can't keep their story straight.



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LawyerLady

 

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FNW wrote:
Lexxy wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

Can't you give a deposition?

I don't know how that works.  Some of what I know is hearsay but if I tell it on the stand it is acceptable because there are some loop holes in the rules.  He said the defense will mostly object to a lot of what I have to say but that most will stand.  That is a big part of what I'm worried about.  I think it will be very unnerving to hear them shout objection every time I say something.  And the other attorney might grill me.  He didn't say that, I am just afraid of it. 

 There are many exceptions to the hearsay rule.  For instance, if you are repeating something he said, but it goes to show his state of mind, it's admissible.   If it was something said as the result of a startling event, it's an excited utterance and admissible.  If they object, pause, wait for the reason, listen to what your attorney says, wait for the judge to rule, then wait for your attorney to either ask it again or change the phrasing.  

I have noticed that most attorneys fail to object when they have reason to.  Why, I don't know.  Maybe they are afraid of looking like they are beating up the witness in front of the jury.  Personally, I don't think they are overly familiar with the rules of evidence and don't know they can.  I used to see it a lot in federal court and it drove me nuts.   I wanted to object from the galley.

 I never object if they can just fix it by rephrasing.  Judges get annoyed by too many objections.  



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LawyerLady

 

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Honeys_Mom


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flan327 wrote:

Lexxy,

If I lived closer I would go to court with you & look mean.

flan

 2nd that!  I could stick Honey inside a jacket and she could peek out and bare her teeth at him, while Flan and I brandish our sporks.



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flan327


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Honeys_Mom wrote:
flan327 wrote:

Lexxy,

If I lived closer I would go to court with you & look mean.

flan

 2nd that!  I could stick Honey inside a jacket and she could peek out and bare her teeth at him, while Flan and I brandish our sporks.

 You can't get MUCH meaner than a Children's Librarian!

biggrin

flan



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flan327


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Try looking at a patron and saying, "Your toddler just painted the bathroom walls with feces?"

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

flan

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Lindley


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Prayers for you Lexxy.

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chef


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Prayers *hugs*

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