Q. Daughter wants to eat meat: My husband and I are trying to raise our kids in a holistic fashion, emphasizing local produce, home-cooked meals, and nonprocessed foods. My sister does not (and rolls her eyes every time I bring it up). She does make salads and fruit medleys but refuses to abide by our rules when she watches our 9-year-old daughter. Unfortunately we have depended on her for child care for the past year, as all her children are older and go to the same school as my daughter.
My daughter has announced she wants to eat meat like her cousins do, and it has become a large issue for us. My sister refuses to help, saying that she has four other children to look after and that my daughter is old enough to make her own choices when it comes to her meals. And she doesn’t appreciate my judgmental tone. I am stuck in between a rock and a hard place here: Dinnertime is becoming a battleground, but we can’t afford not to let my sister watch our daughter. After-school care runs up to $1,300 dollars a month in our area, and we would have to get another car. Can you see any way out?
A: If I’ve read your letter correctly, your sister has given you a year’s worth of free child care, which is a deeply generous thing to do. Your daughter has said she’d like to try eating meat, and she’s old enough that she should be allowed to start making small, day-to-day decisions like what she wants to wear and what, within reason, she wants to have for dinner. You are of course free to continue offering profoundly wholesome, vegetarian meals in your own home, but if your daughter wants to eat meat, and your sister wants to cook meat, and you’re asking her to cook said meal for your kid for free—I’m afraid you’re going to have to compromise and let your sister cook what she wants in her own home. (Most people, by the way, don’t appreciate judgmental tones; that’s hardly unique to your sister.)
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
They want their meat cake and eat it too. That is what sister cooks. Sis watches her kid for free. Sooo, of course the kid wants what others are having. She could pack meals for her child, but of course that makes it difficult if you expect sis to constantly monitor what she eats while there. The other option is to sell you car, and home school your kid yourself, then you will have the control you seek.
If we were not supposed to eat meat, it wouldn't taste so good.
This isn't an allergy thing.
This is a choice.
Stop making everyone miserable.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Mom is not seeing clearly, her desire to not pay for day care and to insist on the sister feed the daughter what Mom would is ridiculous. Eat your cake much? Plus the more she resists daughter's want to eat meat, the more the kid is going to want it.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I can only sympathize if it's a religious thing or if they are staunchly against animal cruelty or something. BUT if that's the case they should be sending her over with special meals prepared, not putting the responsibility on the sister. And if they aren't willing to do that then too bad so sad for them.
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Was it a bad day?
Or was it a bad five minutes that you milked all day?
Dear Abby: I have 4 children and am a stay at home parent. My kids are young so it is quite a handful. My sister has asked me to watch her 9 yr old daughter after school. I have no problem doing that and am glad to help them out. I make decent dinners for my family, salads, fruit salads and other meals. We are not vegetarian so i serve dinners that consist of meat. My sister is raising her child as a vegan and doesn't want her to have any meats, processed foods, etc. I offer her other choices but she wants to eat what her cousins are eating. I only have so much time to police a 9 yr old's diet. My sister has never offered to pay me for watching her daughter nor even bothered to send prepared meals. And she is treating me like i am harming her daughter. What should i do?
Dear Abby: I have 4 children and am a stay at home parent. My kids are young so it is quite a handful. My sister has asked me to watch her 9 yr old daughter after school. I have no problem doing that and am glad to help them out. I make decent dinners for my family, salads, fruit salads and other meals. We are not vegetarian so i serve dinners that consist of meat. My sister is raising her child as a vegan and doesn't want her to have any meats, processed foods, etc. I offer her other choices but she wants to eat what her cousins are eating. I only have so much time to police a 9 yr old's diet. My sister has never offered to pay me for watching her daughter nor even bothered to send prepared meals. And she is treating me like i am harming her daughter. What should i do?
Tell sis & her judgmental vegan attitude to make other arrangements for her daughter's care if she doesn't like the way you are doing things in your home.
The only thing I would worry about is whether the change in diet (eating meat) might upset her stomach if she's not used to it. This doesn't appear to be an issue, so have at it, I say.
My #2 loves beef bologna and I think it's wretched and unhealthy but I buy it and make him sandwiches. I think mayo is wretched, too, but I buy it for DH. Why the need to control so much? It's not like she's serving her alcohol or teaching her to roll weed.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
They want their meat cake and eat it too. That is what sister cooks. Sis watches her kid for free. Sooo, of course the kid wants what others are having. She could pack meals for her child, but of course that makes it difficult if you expect sis to constantly monitor what she eats while there. The other option is to sell you car, and home school your kid yourself, then you will have the control you seek.
She could eat meat when dining at the sister's house. In her parents' home, she eats what they cook. Seems easy enough... unless the child is threatening to eat one of them.
Children should not be vegetarians. They are usually too picky to get all the nutrients they need from vegetarian options.
That's actually a common misperception. Children who are raised vegetarian get all the nutrients they need from the variety of fruits and veg and legumes that they eat. There are a lot of things that have protein in them besides meat - not the least of which are plant based protein shakes. I have seen vegetarian children eat seaweed, munch on broccoli and kale chips, nosh on quinoa, etc. Not all children are picky eaters. And if there is a real concern about nutrients, there are a lot of vegan vitamins derived from plants that are made for children that contain all the nutrients they need.
-- Edited by Mellow Momma on Tuesday 26th of July 2016 10:07:45 PM
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
Children should not be vegetarians. They are usually too picky to get all the nutrients they need from vegetarian options.
That's actually a common misperception. Children who are raised vegetarian get all the nutrients they need from the variety of fruits and veg and legumes that they eat. There are a lot of things that have protein in them besides meat - not the least of which are plant based protein shakes. I have seen vegetarian children eat seaweed, munch on broccoli and kale chips, nosh on quinoa, etc. Not all children are picky eaters. And if there is a real concern about nutrients, there are a lot of vegan vitamins derived from plants that are made for children that contain all the nutrients they need.
-- Edited by Mellow Momma on Tuesday 26th of July 2016 10:07:45 PM
That is the very rare child.
And there are plenty of ADULT vegetarians who don't get enough essential nutrients and don't do it right.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
And the LW needs to stop getting mad because the one watching and feeding their kid for free is not making special meals.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all for "emphasizing local produce, home-cooked meals, and nonprocessed foods." But as much as I want to do that, or limit certain things, I do not tell other people what kind of food to serve in their own home.
I don't want my kids eating genetically modified food - but I certainly don't tell anyone else they have to shop like me, or cook like me.
In fact, the ONLY limit I place is that my kids don't drink soda. Which usually isn't an issue, because DD12 prefers water over anything else, and Jojo thinks soda is nasty.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
My DIL is a healthy eater and encourages my grandson to eat healthy even at nine months. She told me that she has no problem with me taking him to McDonald's or giving him treats. Of course it wouldn't be every day.
Yes, they should be. But still, they aren't. The other day one of their classmates, same age, threw up on their way back from a field trip because he ate too much cotton candy. They had to stop the van several times for him to get out.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Yes, they should be. But still, they aren't. The other day one of their classmates, same age, threw up on their way back from a field trip because he ate too much cotton candy. They had to stop the van several times for him to get out.
DD12 used to do that. It just took some reminding and training.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
