Q. Should I stay, or should I go now?: I’m a gay lady currently dating/living with a bisexual woman who’s recently separated from her husband. We were friends first, “gal pals” second. The last couple of months, she’s been emotionally and physically distant. I attributed it to stress about her new job and new living arrangements, and tried to be as supportive as possible while still giving her plenty of space. I recently discovered that she downloaded Kik and has been using it to chat with random men. She also told me while she was drunk that she’s more sexually attracted to men than she is to me. I don’t really know what to do at this point. I love her deeply, but I deserve better than this and she deserves to be with someone she’s attracted to. I would appreciate your opinion. Should we stick together and try to work it out (which is what she wants), or should I cut my losses and break off the romantic relationship?
A: BREAK UP. Break up, oh my god, you poor darling, break up. There’s nothing left to try to work out; she’s not sufficiently attracted to you to keep from trawling for new romantic partners in the home you both share. Do it kindly, but do it now. You two are not compatible. It sounds like this woman has seen you more as a shoulder to cry on and a place to stay while she goes through a divorce than a girlfriend, and you deserve better than that. Find someone who is not distant, who is interested in closeness, who is wildly attracted to you, and who downloads Kik in order to send you messages of profound devotion and sexual extravagance.
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
