Q. Rules of attraction: My boyfriend and I have been together for five months, and we’re both 36. He treats me well, is caring, and I enjoy his companionship. The dilemma ... our sex life is sparse. It’s been over a month since we’ve been physical. I brought this up and told him I wanted to get to the bottom of it. He told me that he is not physically attracted to me and never was. He had hoped that how well I treat him and how strong our connection is would help overcome this, but it hasn’t. He’s by no means repulsed by me and is willing to work with me on this. For reference, I make healthy choices food-wise and have trouble getting motivated to go to the gym (which I admit); I am of average weight and height, and all of my labs are normal. I was understandably hurt by this. Last night he came over, apologized for how much he hurt me, and cried for two hours. He wants to stay together, and I asked him for time to think about what is best for me. What are your thoughts? It is worth staying with someone who treats you really well but isn’t attracted to you?
A: No. And there’s something desperately sad about having to say something like “my labs are normal,” as if having good blood work would somehow, magically, make you so objectively and overwhelmingly desirable that your boyfriend would develop an attraction to you on the spot. You’ve only been together for five months and he’s simply not attracted to you; that’s not going to change no matter how much he cries at you or promises to “work with you on this.” (How, exactly, does he plan on working to become attracted to you? Attraction isn’t a muscle one can develop through calisthenics.) All relationships are hard, but no relationship should be this hard, this early. Break up with him and find someone who is attracted to you just as you are, lab results be damned.
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I know, right? My guess is she has some severe self-esteem issues and this may be the first guy to show interest in her in a very long time. Maybe ever.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
more common cuz there are more women than men in our society right now, AND while woman are more 'home body' wired, men are more 'spread the seed as far and wide as possible' wired. ;)
I think the ones that allow themselves to be treated badly are lacking in self esteem.
They'd rather be in a relationship where they are treated bad than on their own.
I've known a couple women like that.
It gets pathetic after a while.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
