Q. Ended engagement, dress dilemma: My fiancé and partner of five years ended our engagement two months before our wedding day, because he “couldn’t love me like I love him.” This certainly wasn’t from lack of wanting or trying for it, and I’ve surprised myself with how well I’ve taken it. Still, there are a lot of awkward loose ends to tie up (returning wedding gifts, cancelling reservations, explaining to hundreds of relatives). One of them is petty, but pretty important to me: my dress. I had my dream wedding dress custom-made by a small, local company for a very reasonable price. I can’t imagine finding one I like better if I should be in need of a wedding dress in the future. Is it tacky to hold onto it for if/when I’m ready to walk down the aisle a second time? Could you foresee a future husband-to-be taking offense at this? Have any readers done this? Thanks for helping me grab at shreds of comfort in a sucky situation.
A: I have no idea why it would be tacky to someday wear a dress you like. This dress is in no way spiritually compromised because you purchased it to marry someone who ended up leaving you, and any future partner who wants to spend his life with you ought to be happy you have a wedding dress you love, no matter the provenance. Keep the dress, and don’t waste time dissecting anything that makes you happy during this difficult time.
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I think having a wedding dress hanging in the closet screams, "How to lose a guy in 30 days." I don't think the dress should be a topic of conversation she needs to have with future boyfriends.
I lean toward IKWTDS here - it is HER dress and her choice. Pack it away carefully with whatever one uses to preserve something like that. Tell the next guy about it when and if he proposes, and I'll bet he won't care.
Agree. It is a Wedding dress, not a Joe dress. I also wouldnt bring it up to potential SO's either tho. Not unless you are absolutely sure your man is not the jealous type.
They were 2 whole months from the wedding. It's not like she was left standing at the alter wearing it. She could have it changed a little when she finally does get married. It may be too big or too small by then anyways.
Hundreds of relatives?? I wonder how many siblings she has, etc. I suppose all of us have hundreds of relatives if we bother to go out and search for them. I think she must have overstated this fact.....
As for the dress, sure go ahead and keep it. If she wants to wear it at some later time, fine; if not, toss it or give it to Salvation Army. If it is too dressy for anything but a bride, have it altered a bit...
I can have that many on just dad's side of the family.
My grandfather had 8 siblings. Each one had 2-5 kids.
Multiplication takes over.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
If she loves the dress, keep it. But, she should vacuum pack it so it doesn't yellow or get dusty/dirty. And, if and when the time comes, then deal with it then. Having angst over it now seems silly. Personally i don't have an attachment to clothing, so i don't see the big deal. However, it if is a big deal in her mind, then it's a big deal. If it isn't a big deal in her mind, then i doubt it will matter to anyone else either.
If it was special made, it probably cost a crap ton.
That'd be my be thing.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
To a wedding - yes! No doubt. My family is Italian - any wedding where every cousin of every degree is not invited is immediately scorned. For years. And funerals? Try stopping them from coming. The other occasions you mentioned can be explained away. But weddings and funerals can easily be hundreds of relatives. I regularly saw my 2nd and 3rd cousins and their spouses and children.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
I can have that many on just dad's side of the family.
My grandfather had 8 siblings. Each one had 2-5 kids.
Multiplication takes over.
Yes, I get that. But do you invite all of them to a wedding, baptism, funeral, etc??
Depends.
Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
I didnt, but I kept it small and affordable for me.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Funny thing about it is, I am an only child. Each of my parents is one of two children. It's the aunts, uncles, cousins, and greats and seconds of all those that get ya! Growing up I didn't know the difference between a second cousin and a cousin.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
I have a ton of cousins, too. I miss them all. Well, almost all. LOL I wish my boys had lots of cousins to grow up with. One of the downsides of moving across the country.
