TOTALLY GEEKED!

FNW · Guru

Birds and bees

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

No suggestions but good luck!

Tinydancer · Guru

Just explain as simply as possible and don't go into detail.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I have always handled the matter very honestly, practically, and straight forward. DD12 was about that age when she first started asking and after I started talking a bit - she told me "ewwww, please stop" she wasn't ready for that conversation, yet.

We've had a bit more as time goes on. I've done the "scientific" talk about how babies are made (that's what got the "ewww"), I've done the religious talk, and I've done the practical talk about raging hormones, and the consequences of being a GIRL having sex.

The funniest part was when her friend started her period, and DD said she wished she was a boy b/c boys have it easy in puberty. I then explained what happened to boys in puberty and their inability to control it - and she said nevermind, she was happy being a girl.

But, I want DD to feel comfortable talking about sex with me, so I talk to her about it like it is any other subject. I don't pussy foot around, and I make sure she knows what I expect out of her in relation to making good choices.

At 8, I'd just tell them the mechanics of it with a preface of the fact that it's for adults only.

FNW · Guru

Thanks, LL.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Both kids started asking around the age of 4 and I would explain until they started the "ewws" thing. Took a few years to get it all out, but it was at their speed.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I just answered the questions as they were asked.

Didn't do the sit down big talk ever.

I was just open and honest about everything.

And the kids talk to me and each other about stuff.

TrudyML · Guru

Good luck! Buy a cucumber and some condoms!

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

While I would not discourage you from talking with them, I would also encourage you to speak with your husband and have him talk to them as well. They need to hear it from BOTH parents - especially the parent that is the same sex as them. It is important to hear from you father what is expected of you and to know that they can have the conversation with him if you are not available.

Both DH and I had the conversations with the girls as they asked. Sometimes they asked me and sometimes they asked him. It was situational. But they knew they could go to either of us for answers and support and that's crucial in the the years to come.

As parents we intuitively "get" one of our kids better than our spouse typically. I "got" DD in NYC and DH just "gets" DD at college. It's important that the child can hear it from the parent who can best deliver the message to them but also that they know BOTH parents can have the conversation.

NAOW · Vette's SS

DD started asking a long time ago. At first I just answered questions as she asked them but she started wanting more information so I bought the book 'It's not the Stork' and I read it out loud to her, explaining things as needed. That seemed to help. It answered all her 'whys?' and 'hows?' and now she has the book to go back to if needed. Recently I got the follow up 'It's so Amazing' which is a little more mature and geared towards the age she is now (since the first one was made for younger kids- like she was when I bought it), but we haven't read it yet.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

When mine began talking about dating I had a talk with each one as needed and laid out facts and consequences.

Each got the same.

You are responsible for you and your actions. Sex is great but you need to wait until you can fully take on the responsibility of your actions. I want you to wait until marriage. God wants you to wait until marriage. But if you just cant, you use a condom. Period. Having a baby is a life long commitment but the possible diseases can mean death. And I ain't raising your child or burying you so you better wrap it up.

Do you have any questions?

Of course this was after a lifetime of talks, questions, and teaching.

Thankfully, I've got 2 out of school without a pregnancy scare and no disease and in a year there will be a third.

Sex is not taboo with us.

But I remember being pregnant with Jesse and Caitlyn asking me how the baby got in my belly. She was 3.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

When Jojo was 3, our friend was pregnant and when her belly got really big we told her there was a baby in there.
She asked if friend had eaten the baby. It was hilarious.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Kids are great!

Vette · Owl drink to that!

SO's son asked me about babies before he even asked his own parents. It was mostly awkward because I didn't know what they would have allowed me to say, but I didn't lie I was just as vague as possible (mostly for my own sake lol)

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

What specifically are they asking?

FNW · Guru

How does a mommy get pregnant.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Why don't you explain how you got pregnant with them.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Lawyerlady wrote:
When Jojo was 3, our friend was pregnant and when her belly got really big we told her there was a baby in there.
She asked if friend had eaten the baby. It was hilarious.

Jojo is one hot ticket!

FNW · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Why don't you explain how you got pregnant with them.

OH, I have. We go to the doctor's party every year.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ah.

Maybe they need a diagram?

WYSIWYG · Guru

My suggestion is, be as honest with them as possible, while still being as age appropriate as possible. It's a fine line, but a line all good parents navigate (some better than others).

FNW · Guru

I started out by mentioning eggs and they laughed and said, "wait, I came out of an egg".....

chef · Guru

I wonder how old DS will be when he asks where babies come from.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I told mine at a young age that mom and dad really wanted a baby, so we prayed about and then when the time was right God put the baby in my stomach.

As they got older, I added to that.

There was also that program on TLC that showed births.

That helped a lot.

They will begin to have human development classes soon, too.

FNW · Guru

I would like to tell them before the school does....

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I know.

But I mean is, most of the time, the school human development class is pretty basic but very informative.

WYSIWYG · Guru

I wonder how old DS will be when he asks where babies come from.
- chef

________________________________

That will likely depend on when he has any brothers or sisters. ;)

ed11563 · Guru

FNW wrote:
The boys are asking questions...mostly to DH, but I think I'll have to be the one to discuss this with them...any suggestions? They are 8.

Our local drug store had an age-appropriate little book aimed at 5 to 10 year olds.

It's important to have them explain why they are asking, so you aren't trapped into saying too much too soon.

On the other hand, if they have Internet access, maybe they can explain the process to YOU by now wink

chef · Guru

WYSIWYG wrote:
I wonder how old DS will be when he asks where babies come from.
- chef

________________________________

That will likely depend on when he has any brothers or sisters. ;)

Any future siblings will be adopted so that will be an easy explanation.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

FNW wrote:
I would like to tell them before the school does....

Or their not so wise friends.....

FNW · Guru

Right!

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Just tell them their little sausage will shrivel up and fall off if they have sex before the are married.

WYSIWYG · Guru

Any future siblings will be adopted so that will be an easy explanation.
- chef

_______________________________

In reference to this discussion, you know that's cheating. Right?

WYSIWYG · Guru

Just tell them their little sausage will shrivel up and fall off if they have sex before the are married.
- lilyofcourse

_______________________________

It's one thing to not want to discuss it. It's another thing entirely to knowingly give them false information in an effort to scare them. That won't help them trust their parents. Lies told by the parents never do.

chef · Guru

WYSIWYG wrote:
Any future siblings will be adopted so that will be an easy explanation.
- chef

_______________________________

In reference to this discussion, you know that's cheating. Right?

Why?

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

WYSIWYG wrote:
Just tell them their little sausage will shrivel up and fall off if they have sex before the are married.
- lilyofcourse

_______________________________

It's one thing to not want to discuss it. It's another thing entirely to knowingly give them false information in an effort to scare them. That won't help them trust their parents. Lies told by the parents never do.

You mean if a girl has sex, she won't get pregnant and die?????

FNW · Guru

hahahahaha!

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

biggrin

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

lilyofcourse wrote:
WYSIWYG wrote:
Just tell them their little sausage will shrivel up and fall off if they have sex before the are married.
- lilyofcourse

_______________________________

It's one thing to not want to discuss it. It's another thing entirely to knowingly give them false information in an effort to scare them. That won't help them trust their parents. Lies told by the parents never do.
You mean if a girl has sex, she won't get pregnant and die?????

Well.....technically speaking, she COULD.

WYSIWYG · Guru

Why?
- chef

_______________________________

"The adoption agency on 1234 Main Street. You know. You were with us. Remember?" doesn't exactly cover sperm fertilizing egg and then pregnancy following.

(plus I was mostly intending my reply as a joke)

WYSIWYG · Guru

You mean if a girl has sex, she won't get pregnant and die?????
- lilyofcourse

_________________________________

Make fun of it if you like. But parents lying to their kids about sex is how more kids end up pregnant in the first place.

Because then the kids get their information from their all-knowing friends and their friend the internet. Good, helpful stuff, like: "tater tops make for good birth control", "if you stand up immediately after, all his stuff will run out and you won't get pregnant", and "it's o.k. as long as he pulls out in time, so get him to promise that he will". Things like that.

Impress upon them the importance of waiting, but also prepare them with the truth just in case they don't. That's all I'm saying.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Lawyerlady wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
WYSIWYG wrote:
Just tell them their little sausage will shrivel up and fall off if they have sex before the are married.
- lilyofcourse

_______________________________

It's one thing to not want to discuss it. It's another thing entirely to knowingly give them false information in an effort to scare them. That won't help them trust their parents. Lies told by the parents never do.
You mean if a girl has sex, she won't get pregnant and die?????
Well.....technically speaking, she COULD.

But if she immediately does a hundred jumping jack after sex, she wont.

And you never get pregnant the first time.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

WYSIWYG wrote:
You mean if a girl has sex, she won't get pregnant and die?????
- lilyofcourse

_________________________________

Make fun of it if you like. But parents lying to their kids about sex is how more kids end up pregnant in the first place.

Because then the kids get their information from their all-knowing friends and their friend the internet. Good, helpful stuff, like: "tater tops make for good birth control", "if you stand up immediately after, all his stuff will run out and you won't get pregnant", and "it's o.k. as long as he pulls out in time, so get him to promise that he will". Things like that.

Impress upon them the importance of waiting, but also prepare them with the truth just in case they don't. That's all I'm saying.

Wait!

So what about if he doesn't get the sperms out regularly?

That could kill him!

That stuff can't back up in there.

And did you know that you won't get pregnant if you're on top?

It's true!

FNW · Guru

And you can get pregnant by kissing, don't forget that one.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Just make sure to tell them not to masturbate, or they will get hairy palms!

FNW · Guru

Or go blind!

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Guys.

We can not joke about this.

This is serious stuff.

You need charts and grafts and puppets to work through possible senarios.

TrudyML · Guru

Will the puppets have body parts? Can we just strip Barbie? Kens package wasn't right, though.

Tinydancer · Guru

We expect you to draw it on correctly then Trudy...lol

TrudyML · Guru

All those years of art school? I'm on it! I tell you the 1st nude. Sorta weirded me out.