DEAR ABBY: My friend “Camilla” recently learned that she is HIV positive. She became aware of it through a blood test, as she is pregnant.
The baby’s father has been tested and he was negative. Her future health is of no concern because the situation is under control. Camilla hasn’t been unfaithful, and it is clear she has been HIV positive for some time.
My issue is, she refuses to contact her previous lover about her condition, even though she likely got it from him. Her ex may have no idea that he is positive and may not find out until it is too late.
Abby, I understand her concern and embarrassment, but I think her ex deserves to know. Should I contact him anonymously? I know his name and could find his contact information.
I feel strongly that he should know, so he can be tested and go on medication. I would, of course, be doing this behind my friend’s back. — CONFLICTED IN THE USA
DEAR CONFLICTED: I took your question to Ged Kenslea, director of communications for the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, and this is his response:
“At the time of her diagnosis, Camilla should have been urged to contact her previous partners. It’s standard procedure, and not something that a health care worker would just ‘skip’ doing. As well-meaning as the writer is to want to inform Camilla’s previous lover about her condition, it’s not appropriate on an individual level to interfere in this situation. There are confidentiality as well as safety issues involved that could bring hurt feelings, harm and possible legal liability to those involved in the disclosure.
“A better option might be to contact the county health department where the individual resides to see if it has the capacity to contact the individual, let that person know there may be a health issue he or she could be facing and urge him/her to get tested and linked to care, if necessary — all without disclosing who contacted the county with that information.”
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
"Someone you've had sex with is HIV positive. Have a nice day."
Simple and to the point.
But this is just one more reason to wait till marriage to have sex.
If people would stop sleeping with every Harry Tom Dick, the diseases would be kept at a minimum.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
The health care provider who ran the test will likely be responsible for the delivery and ensuring the baby is healthy and the status of the baby is known to others in the room.
__________________
Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
I think if you test positive with HIV, it should be mandatory that you give the name of everyone you've been intimate with.
I've seen first hand how HIV slowly kills.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Well we politicized public health. There used to be mandatory contact tracing, quarantine if necessary (not for HIV) but other public health issues. Now, nothing. And communicable diseases are surging due to this mass influx of unvaccinated undocumented illegals.
I personally dont understand the "it is none of your business" mentality. Especially in cases where someone's life is on the line. So just a heads up folks, if you cheat on your spouse and tell me in confidence, do not expect me to keep my mouth shut about it. If you have a deadly disease, and you tell me in confidence, do not expect me to keep my mouth shut about it. If you are a raging buffoon and rely on me keeping my nose out of it, you chose the wrong friend. There are many things I will stay out of and let you do you. But certain things you do, you can expect me to tell you that you are an azz and need to get your head on straight.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
hahahaha! Well... I would fully expect my friends to do the same for me. Sure, it hurts when someone says "hey, you are judgemental" or whatever. But you know what, I would prefer to find out NOW that I am a schmuck rather than 10 years from now and I cant find a friend to save my life cuz they all left without telling me to my face something I needed to hear. All cuz no one was willing to step up and say "hey, cut it out you schmuck!"
Personally, I'd probably tell friend she had 3 days to tell him, and then I would. Sorry - you don't get to risk other people's lives because you don't want to have that conversation. And if that ended our friendship - so be it. I wouldn't want to be friends with such a selfish twit, anyway.
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
hahahaha! Well... I would fully expect my friends to do the same for me. Sure, it hurts when someone says "hey, you are judgemental" or whatever. But you know what, I would prefer to find out NOW that I am a schmuck rather than 10 years from now and I cant find a friend to save my life cuz they all left without telling me to my face something I needed to hear. All cuz no one was willing to step up and say "hey, cut it out you schmuck!"
I agree!
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
