DEAR ABBY: At a pool party recently, I complimented another woman on her “good figure” (she was wearing a bikini and looked great in it), but I was told later by a different woman who had been there how “hurtful” my compliment had been to everyone else present because I complimented only the bikini-wearing woman.
I felt coerced into apologizing to the second woman for not offering a compliment of some kind to everyone else at the party — which seems artificial and unnecessary (actually stupid) to me. The woman looking for the apology left me feeling steamed, and now I’m thinking that maybe I apologized for something I didn’t need to.
Is it true that you shouldn’t compliment one person if you can’t manage to do the same for everyone else present? — POOL PARTY COMPLIMENT
DEAR P.P.C.: No, it’s not. I have never heard of that rule of etiquette. Following her logic, you would be compelled to compliment every male at an event if you told one that the tie or shirt he was wearing was nice.
I suspect the woman was less hurt than jealous, and I doubt the other women at the pool party were paying much attention to what you said.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
That would have been a scenario I would have stared dumbfounded at the offended party and would have let her unjustified anger float in the air, stinking up the place. Own your stink woman! smell that? yeah, that is you. OWN IT.
