DEAR ABBY: I have a brother and a sister. I’m the oldest. My husband and I have a 3-year-old child and no plans for more children.
We have been blessed to be able to afford nice things for our daughter, and I have saved them in the hope of giving them to my brother and his fiancee, who are being married this year.
My brother and I are very close, and I love his fiancee. They are not financially well off, so I know it would mean a lot to them.
ow something unexpected has happened. My sister — the youngest — just announced that she’s engaged and is being married in three months. She plans on having children ASAP, whereas my brother and his fiancee want to wait a year or two after the wedding.
My mom and my sister say whoever has a baby girl first is entitled to all my stuff, but I don’t want to give all my “treasures” to my sister. We have never gotten along, and she wouldn’t appreciate them like my brother would.
Am I wrong for feeling the way I do? What should I do? — FEELING COERCED IN WASHINGTON
DEAR FEELING COERCED: Cross your fingers and hope your sister’s production line produces all boys. (Just kidding.)
Your baby items belong to you, not your mother and not your sister. No one is “entitled” to them. If you prefer to give them to your brother’s wife, that’s your privilege. Your reasons seem valid to me.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Although, just because she is planning not to have more children doesn't mean she won't. I got rid of all my baby stuff when DD12 was 4, and got Jojo 2 years later.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Although, just because she is planning not to have more children doesn't mean she won't. I got rid of all my baby stuff when DD12 was 4, and got Jojo 2 years later.
Don't get me started.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
Yes, her stuff and she can do what she wants with them.
But what if brother and wife doesn't want them?
I think she should ask the brother and wife if they will want them before making some grand declaration.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I like that idea! Pick out a few things and give them to her if and when she has a baby shower. Save the rest for when you want to give to your other sibling.
Seriously. My family would have a hard time getting something from me to give to my brother that i didn't want to give. They'd try though. We're the only two children and my brother is the clear favourite. I finally decorated some of my house (it's my longest rental in nearly 10 years. I'm coming up on 3!) and framed and put up a lot of my baby pictures that I like. Mixed with some old family favourites and some scenic stuff. When my mom came to my house and saw it the first thing out of her mouth wasn't 'wow! that looks great!' or 'you put a lot of work into that' or even 'where did you find all those frames?'. It was 'you're missing your brother up there, right?'
I am having a hard time holding back about venting about the antics of some of my sibings and parents these past months. Not sure I am strong enough to admit the truth about them.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
Family don't end in blood, but it don't start there either.
I have relatives I don't talk to and see almost daily.
I have friends who, no matter how long between contact, I know will always have my back.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I am having a hard time holding back about venting about the antics of some of my sibings and parents these past months. Not sure I am strong enough to admit the truth about them.
I am having a hard time holding back about venting about the antics of some of my sibings and parents these past months. Not sure I am strong enough to admit the truth about them.
Perhaps you need a break room thread, IKWTDS.
I do but don't want to dwell. The situation is as it is and I have to deal with it.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
