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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Amy - how do I tell my kids the different between lies and "white lies"?
chef


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RE: Dear Amy - how do I tell my kids the different between lies and "white lies"?
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Mary Zombie wrote:

If it were a close friend that asked me how I liked their haircut I would be kind but try and be honest if it wasn't the best look. I've been told when I had a kind of freaky hair doo before. It otherwise why go there. If the person likes their hair that's all that matters.
I hated that hackjob that Kate Goslin had years ago but obviously someone liked it!

 This is me, too. I cut my hair for ME. No one else needs to like it and, frankly, I don't care if anyone else does.



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lilyofcourse


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

You aren't lying by not verbalizing your every feeling. That isn't lying.

 No. This is true.

 



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Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

The choice isn't to lie or to be "truthful" and hurt someone's feelings. One can be truthful and not lie and also needlessly hurt someone as well.

 Really?  How about when someone asks you flat out if you like their haircut and you actually hate it?  You are either going to have to be honest and hurt their feelings, prevaricate (which is what was done in the OP) or tell a white lie.

I don't believe for one single second that any of you have not and would not spare the friend's feelings.  

 That's when the answer is "if you like it, that's all that matters" comes out.

With my friends, we are very open and honest.

We speak our mind.

 



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WYSIWYG


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Dear Amy - how do I tell my kids the different between lies and
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I agree with reversing the question, rather than lying.

Regarding the friend asking about their hair and how it looks. I would respond with "My appreciation of it doesn't matter, does it? The question that matters is: Do you like it?"

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Lawyerlady


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RE: Dear Amy - how do I tell my kids the different between lies and "white lies"?
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WYSIWYG wrote:

I agree with reversing the question, rather than lying.

Regarding the friend asking about their hair and how it looks. I would respond with "My appreciation of it doesn't matter, does it? The question that matters is: Do you like it?"

 That is sooooooo obvious.  



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LawyerLady

 

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Amy - how do I tell my kids the different between lies and
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I don't have a problem with a direct answer to a direct question. However, there are ways to deliver your opinion as well as i said earlier. But, for the original post, the lady wasn't asking her opinion about her daughter.

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Lawyerlady


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

I don't have a problem with a direct answer to a direct question. However, there are ways to deliver your opinion as well as i said earlier. But, for the original post, the lady wasn't asking her opinion about her daughter.

 No, she wasn't.  And I don't consider the response in the OP even a white lie.  



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LawyerLady

 

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WYSIWYG


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Dear Amy - how do I tell my kids the different between lies and
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That is sooooooo obvious.
- Lawyerlady

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Maybe so. But also maybe not. I might also give that answer if I think it looks good, but I can tell that they don't like it but are going with it because someone told them it was "The current fad".

How a person feels about their own appearance is more important than how any one, or any group, feels about it.

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