TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Husband and wife discover they are twins after shock DNA test: Married couple learn they are siblings

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

That is so sad for them.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Wow. What are the odds!

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ok. So now what are they going to do?

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

lilyofcourse wrote:
Ok. So now what are they going to do?

I suppose they have to have the marriage annulled. They are not legally married since that is against the law in their state, I think that is true of all states. I just find it so sad for them.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Heartbreaking.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

To me, this is something that needs to stop.

Separating siblings, especially newborn twins, is wrong in my book.

I know sometimes it may be necessary, but I think the adopting family should be aware of siblings.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I agree Lilly.

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

What a shock for them.

So sad.

And I agree, siblings should be kept together, whenever possible.

Lindley · Guru

If it isn't for some reason possible for them to be together, it should be required to tell the adoptee they have a sibling or siblings and should be able to visit each other.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

If you read the OP, it says that due to a filing error the adoptive families were never told about the other sibling. It doesn't sound like it was done on purpose. I just think they should have offered the twins to one family first instead.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Mellow Momma wrote:
If you read the OP, it says that due to a filing error the adoptive families were never told about the other sibling. It doesn't sound like it was done on purpose. I just think they should have offered the twins to one family first instead.

A friend of mine adopted 3 siblings when they were toddlers. It wasn't until the kids were in their late teens that they found out they had 4 other siblings. A bit of a shock.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I believe, although based only on what I have heard, that Jojo has 5 siblings out there on her biological father's side.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

Of course it's ideal for siblings to stay together but the fact is most of the time they can't. The average family isn't usually prepared to adopt more than one child at a time. And in many cases foster kids have 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 or more siblings.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

Another argument for sterilization once someone's kids get taken away but that's just my opinion.

FNW · Guru

So sad. And what are they going to do now? They love each other and are married. They are as married as any couple, IMO. Is there an "ick" factor now? Siblings used to marry and procreate. That's how mankind grew from Adam & Eve. This couple did not know they were related. If we dig back far enough we'll probably find that we are all related. I'm a distant (very distant) cousin to Princess Diana. And she was related to Prince Charles, her ex-husband, whom I am also related to. And Daniel Boone. He was an ancestor of mine as well. Meh.

I get that there is a law prohibiting marriage between siblings, but who was this law intended to protect? Future children? Can this couple not use a donor egg or sperm and still have a family?

So many questions. A sad situation to find one's self in, for sure.

Lenni · Member

. Wow

So sad.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Well the fact is, according to the law they aren't siblings. Their birth certificates have their adoptive parents names on them and so these two people legally are not related.

And part of me thinks the doctor who did this DNA test should have kept the results to himself. Telling them the truth - no good will come of it. Nothing positive anyway.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Mellow Momma wrote:
Well the fact is, according to the law they aren't siblings. Their birth certificates have their adoptive parents names on them and so these two people legally are not related.

And part of me thinks the doctor who did this DNA test should have kept the results to himself. Telling them the truth - no good will come of it. Nothing positive anyway.

That's ridiculous, they needed to know.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Why?

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

What makes their life better for having this knowledge?

Ohfour · Hooker

Mellow Momma wrote:
What makes their life better for having this knowledge?

So they won't try to have inbred kids?

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Well, hopefully, they will not use their sibling DNA to produce a child for starters.

Or maybe they will be hyper vigilant to make sure they do not procreate, even if the possibility is next to none, it has happened.

FNW · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
Well the fact is, according to the law they aren't siblings. Their birth certificates have their adoptive parents names on them and so these two people legally are not related.

And part of me thinks the doctor who did this DNA test should have kept the results to himself. Telling them the truth - no good will come of it. Nothing positive anyway.

Ruining people's lives is in vogue, dontcha know.

I would think SOP's for an endocrinologist would be to explain their DNA was not compatible to successfully birth a child without major risks, such as failed pregnancies, or child born of abnormalities. Not to tell the couple they are related based on similar DNA.

It's no secret that I utilized modern science to have a family. And there were pages upon pages of questions I needed to complete. But they pertained to our medical histories and our parents' medical history. Since these two were adopted, it should have ended there. Unknown. Period. Myriad of blood tests are performed, sometimes weekly, to check for things that might detect disease or have an impact on pregnancy and/or childbirth.

Back in the 1980s when I first got married we were required to submit to blood tests. This would solve a lot of problems these days. I suspect with the popularity of egg and sperm donors, this is going to become more and more common.

Ohfour · Hooker

FNW wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
Well the fact is, according to the law they aren't siblings. Their birth certificates have their adoptive parents names on them and so these two people legally are not related.

And part of me thinks the doctor who did this DNA test should have kept the results to himself. Telling them the truth - no good will come of it. Nothing positive anyway.
Ruining people's lives is in vogue, dontcha know.
I would think SOP's for an endocrinologist would be to explain their DNA was not compatible to successfully birth a child without major risks, such as failed pregnancies, or child born of abnormalities. Not to tell the couple they are related based on similar DNA.
It's no secret that I utilized modern science to have a family. And there were pages upon pages of questions I needed to complete. But they pertained to our medical histories and our parents' medical history. Since these two were adopted, it should have ended there. Unknown. Period. Myriad of blood tests are performed, sometimes weekly, to check for things that might detect disease or have an impact on pregnancy and/or childbirth.
Back in the 1980s when I first got married we were required to submit to blood tests. This would solve a lot of problems these days. I suspect with the popularity of egg and sperm donors, this is going to become more and more common.

Seriously? And let them procreate? That's just horrible. And once they DID and the baby was all kinds of messed up, they would start running tests. And those test would show that the parents were twins. And THEN they would sue for the Dr not letting them know.

This was handled the way it should have been. Drs need to tell the truth to their patients. It's malpractice not to.

Tinydancer · Guru

Because you (general you) wouldn't want to know the truth doesn't mean others don't want to know. It's impossible to make an informed opinion when you don't know the truth.

Honeys_Mom · Mod & Permanent Board Sweetheart

Myself, I would want to know. But this is still so terribly sad. I wonder what the couple is going to do? cry

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
What makes their life better for having this knowledge?

Sounds like an incidental finding when they went in for a fertility work up.

FNW · Guru

Ohfour wrote:
FNW wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
Well the fact is, according to the law they aren't siblings. Their birth certificates have their adoptive parents names on them and so these two people legally are not related.

And part of me thinks the doctor who did this DNA test should have kept the results to himself. Telling them the truth - no good will come of it. Nothing positive anyway.
Ruining people's lives is in vogue, dontcha know.
I would think SOP's for an endocrinologist would be to explain their DNA was not compatible to successfully birth a child without major risks, such as failed pregnancies, or child born of abnormalities. Not to tell the couple they are related based on similar DNA.
It's no secret that I utilized modern science to have a family. And there were pages upon pages of questions I needed to complete. But they pertained to our medical histories and our parents' medical history. Since these two were adopted, it should have ended there. Unknown. Period. Myriad of blood tests are performed, sometimes weekly, to check for things that might detect disease or have an impact on pregnancy and/or childbirth.
Back in the 1980s when I first got married we were required to submit to blood tests. This would solve a lot of problems these days. I suspect with the popularity of egg and sperm donors, this is going to become more and more common.

Seriously? And let them procreate? That's just horrible. And once they DID and the baby was all kinds of messed up, they would start running tests. And those test would show that the parents were twins. And THEN they would sue for the Dr not letting them know.
This was handled the way it should have been. Drs need to tell the truth to their patients. It's malpractice not to.

I never thought they should have been permitted to procreate. Just that rather than telling them they were related, he could have told them their DNA was not compatible to procreate. It obviously wasn't going to happen by itself without medical help. He could have discussed the option of utilizing donors. But I do understand full disclosure. And it was the couple that began digging into their history....

I know it's been a few years since I sought IVF, I do not recall a DNA test (for myself and DH) being involved. I understand there is DNA testing in eggs and embryos, but I was not aware they tested the parents. But protocols are evolving, I suppose.

Tinydancer · Guru

So you'd be ok with your doctor keeping important information from you? I wouldn't.

FNW · Guru

I'm not running out and getting DNA tests for my DH and I to see if we're related....

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I think, the DNA test was probably done to weed out possible disease and the fact they were siblings was discovered by accident.

I don't "blame" either one for this situation, I can't imagine what they must be feeling.

But I do think it is a good thing they know.

FNW · Guru

That's just it. I do not believe DNA testing is standard for fertility treatments. Not for both the male AND the female. At least it wasn't (and still isn't) at the clinic where I received treatment. I suspect perhaps the couple had a feeling and requested it.

Very sad.

-- Edited by FNW on Monday 17th of April 2017 04:09:42 PM

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

FNW wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
FNW wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
Well the fact is, according to the law they aren't siblings. Their birth certificates have their adoptive parents names on them and so these two people legally are not related.

And part of me thinks the doctor who did this DNA test should have kept the results to himself. Telling them the truth - no good will come of it. Nothing positive anyway.
Ruining people's lives is in vogue, dontcha know.
I would think SOP's for an endocrinologist would be to explain their DNA was not compatible to successfully birth a child without major risks, such as failed pregnancies, or child born of abnormalities. Not to tell the couple they are related based on similar DNA.
It's no secret that I utilized modern science to have a family. And there were pages upon pages of questions I needed to complete. But they pertained to our medical histories and our parents' medical history. Since these two were adopted, it should have ended there. Unknown. Period. Myriad of blood tests are performed, sometimes weekly, to check for things that might detect disease or have an impact on pregnancy and/or childbirth.
Back in the 1980s when I first got married we were required to submit to blood tests. This would solve a lot of problems these days. I suspect with the popularity of egg and sperm donors, this is going to become more and more common.

Seriously? And let them procreate? That's just horrible. And once they DID and the baby was all kinds of messed up, they would start running tests. And those test would show that the parents were twins. And THEN they would sue for the Dr not letting them know.
This was handled the way it should have been. Drs need to tell the truth to their patients. It's malpractice not to.
I never thought they should have been permitted to procreate. Just that rather than telling them they were related, he could have told them their DNA was not compatible to procreate. It obviously wasn't going to happen by itself without medical help. He could have discussed the option of utilizing donors. But I do understand full disclosure. And it was the couple that began digging into their history....
I know it's been a few years since I sought IVF, I do not recall a DNA test (for myself and DH) being involved. I understand there is DNA testing in eggs and embryos, but I was not aware they tested the parents. But protocols are evolving, I suppose.

The body is a miracle marvel. It does heal itself over time. Many, many couples have been told they would never have children, only to adopt and then wind up pregnant. My sister was told she would never have children again, and yet we have Jojo.

The DNA test was likely done to give further information as to what could be wrong when the fertility treatments were not working. Yours worked - therefore you didn't need as many tests.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

What would any of you do if you discovered your spouse with your sibling?

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
What would any of you do if you discovered your spouse with your sibling?

I cannot imagine ever being able to have sex with them again. EVER. So, an annulment would be necessary.

FNW · Guru

I cannot imagine it either. Which is why I would not want to know. I can't imagine being without him.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

FNW wrote:
I cannot imagine it either. Which is why I would not want to know. I can't imagine being without him.

Momala · Great cook-happy wife-superb fisherman

What a tragedy for all concerned - including the
adoptive parents. cry

WYSIWYG · Guru

That's a seriously messed up situation. But it's not like they knew. I honestly don't know what I would do in a similar situation.

Ohfour · Hooker

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
What would any of you do if you discovered your spouse with your sibling?

I don't know. Honestly, I would most likely stay. I cannot even think about my life without him. If something ever happened to him, I would not be far behind...

But I don't have to worry about that. There is no way possible that could be...

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I don't think the doctor has the right to not tell them once he knows. He would be ethically bound to inform them. He doesn't get to choose what they know and what they don't.

Cheerios4606 · Guru

And where does this all fit in morality? What if despite knowing this now, they are still in love? They are still wanting to BE together. Is that icky? Is that gross?

I dont know. In my mind they may be twins on a molecular level, but they were not raised as siblings and never knew. They are now married and wanting a family together. I would not diss them if they didnt get the ick factor and wanted to stay together. Of course they would have to keep this nugget of info to themselves. Perhaps adopt or get a spurm doner to get preggers.

I dunno... this is just so sad on so many levels.

FNW · Guru

I agree with you cherrios.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

So, this is funny, sort of. But, in high school I dated a boy and his mother HATED me. I mean she did everything she could to get him not to like me. He finally blew up and her and asked her what her problem was.

Well, apparently, she thought we might be brother and sister. Her and my mother hung around the same crowd, and she always thought something was going on between my mother and her boyfriend. They both ended up pregnant teenage moms and she always wondered if it was the same guy. I knew who my father was - she could have just asked me. Geesh.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Lawyerlady wrote:
So, this is funny, sort of. But, in high school I dated a boy and his mother HATED me. I mean she did everything she could to get him not to like me. He finally blew up and her and asked her what her problem was.

Well, apparently, she thought we might be brother and sister. Her and my mother hung around the same crowd, and she always thought something was going on between my mother and her boyfriend. They both ended up pregnant teenage moms and she always wondered if it was the same guy. I knew who my father was - she could have just asked me. Geesh.

So she didn't really hate you, you were a symbolic reality of her whoring life?

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Cheerios4606 wrote:
And where does this all fit in morality? What if despite knowing this now, they are still in love? They are still wanting to BE together. Is that icky? Is that gross?

I dont know. In my mind they may be twins on a molecular level, but they were not raised as siblings and never knew. They are now married and wanting a family together. I would not diss them if they didnt get the ick factor and wanted to stay together. Of course they would have to keep this nugget of info to themselves. Perhaps adopt or get a spurm doner to get preggers.

I dunno... this is just so sad on so many levels.

For those of us not in the relationship it is gross. I feel so badly for them for they had no idea and love each other. I think I want to hug them both and tell them whatever they decide to do is ok and no judgement here.

Ohfour · Hooker

Yep!!!!

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
So, this is funny, sort of. But, in high school I dated a boy and his mother HATED me. I mean she did everything she could to get him not to like me. He finally blew up and her and asked her what her problem was.

Well, apparently, she thought we might be brother and sister. Her and my mother hung around the same crowd, and she always thought something was going on between my mother and her boyfriend. They both ended up pregnant teenage moms and she always wondered if it was the same guy. I knew who my father was - she could have just asked me. Geesh.
So she didn't really hate you, you were a symbolic reality of her whoring life?

Or just a constant reminder of my mother, whom she hated.

TOTALLY GEEKED!

Husband and wife discover they are twins after shock DNA test: Married couple learn they are siblings after routine test at IVF clinic