TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Dear Abby: Lax Rules At Grandma's

FNW · Guru

Meh, grandparents love to spoil. I don't see screen time as a biggie when in her home. Now plying them with candy to the point they come home and throw up, that's another issue. (It's happened here).

When I visited my grandparents, I would go out to the groves and eat myself silly with peaches, nectarines, plums, kumquats, loquats, etc. I would strip their berry bushes clean. My grandmother used to tell my parents they just didn't have a crop of berries this year, and wink at me. I miss my grandparents so much, and think of them each time I take a bite of fruit that never tastes as good as theirs did.

My boys love to visit Grandma/Papa because they are allowed to do and eat things they can't here. These are the wonderful memories they will take with them later in life.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Some parents need to chill out. Let grandma be grandma. But yes Grandma does need to hear the parents and be considerate as well.

Tinydancer · Guru

That was a stupid answer from Abby. I spoil my grands and if I wasn't allowed too they probably wouldn't be staying as much. My house my rules and if their mama or daddy don't like it they can pay a babysitter just to make their point.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

That was a stupid answer. Apparently the father's opinion is worthless.

Well, he is male after all.

Mother needs to lighten up.

Mary Zombie · Guru

The LW needs to chill. If you want the grandparents to watch them then they get to decide what happens in their house as long as it's not dangerous.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

My son is very strong-willed. He doesn't have a lot of rules for Itty bitty, but I respect the ones he does have.

I also wonder why the grandma isn't interacting with the child, rather than giving him extra "screen time."

flan

Tinydancer · Guru

So if itty bitty were ever allowed to stay at your house you would entertain her every waking hour?

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

She would rather play with ME than a tablet.

flan

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

Tinydancer wrote:
So if itty bitty were ever allowed to stay at your house you would entertain her every waking hour?

I visited my grandparents back in the days of record players. Pre-more-than-3-channel tv world. There was no screen time. We didn't have to be entertained every waking second. It is possible to have less screen time, not be directly entertained and still function.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

And how much time are we talking about? An hour vs. 5 hours?

That would make a difference in my answer.

flan

Tinydancer · Guru

flan327 wrote:
She would rather play with ME than a tablet.

flan

At the age of four yes. At the age of ten come back and tell me how it goes.

Tinydancer · Guru

Tignanello wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
So if itty bitty were ever allowed to stay at your house you would entertain her every waking hour?
I visited my grandparents back in the days of record players. Pre-more-than-3-channel tv world. There was no screen time. We didn't have to be entertained every waking second. It is possible to have less screen time, not be directly entertained and still function.

It's about allowing your grandkids to do things they might not do at home not about screen time but thanks for the quote...

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
She would rather play with ME than a tablet.

flan
At the age of four yes. At the age of ten come back and tell me how it goes.

She's 5, and I don't expect things to change. DH's granddaughter is 12, and would rather talk to me when I visit.

flan

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

What is "screen time?"

Television? Tablet? What?

How often are the parents sending the child to grandma's home? An evening once a week? Two 8 hour days a week? Is this the parents escape time from child care? Are they frequently using grandma as an unpaid babysitter?

Are the parents sending the tablet with the child? If they are, this is on them.

What is the age of the child? 2? 4? 8? 12?

"Screen time" occurs in pre-school for crying out loud. The teachers have to expose young children to computers, daily. That is also "screen time." By the time a child is in the sixth grade, almost half of all class work is done during "screen time".

My grand's come over with ipads, and iphones, well 1 iPhone, and a school computer. Home work must be done on a computer in the upper grades.

The kids still find plenty of time to play outside, color, read, help bake cookies and so much more.

Let grandma be grandma. The kid is fine.

Tinydancer · Guru

So your experience is everyone's? A little visit to gramma's house is a bit different than spending a night or a week.

eta: This is in reply to flan. Not Czechs.

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Thursday 27th of April 2017 11:56:32 AM

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Of course it is.

Everyone knows you hate me.

My experience is MINE alone, but you seem determined to hint that my relationship with my granddaughter will fall apart.

flan

Tinydancer · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Of course it is.

Everyone knows you hate me.

My experience is MINE alone, but you seem determined to hint that my relationship with my granddaughter will fall apart.

flan

Where did you get the bolded? I don't care enough about you to hate you but we all know your secrets (you just can't help yourself) about your visitations issues with itty bitty.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Our little man (age 2 1/2) loves Mario. His dad (DS) bought an older playstation, so little man and I play Mario together. What is wrong with that?

By the way, I always die..

Just can't get the hang of that game..

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

just Czech wrote:
Our little man (age 2 1/2) loves Mario. His dad (DS) bought an older playstation, so little man and I play Mario together. What is wrong with that?

By the way, I always die..

Just can't get the hang of that game..

Nothing at all, Czech.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Of course it is.

Everyone knows you hate me.

My experience is MINE alone, but you seem determined to hint that my relationship with my granddaughter will fall apart.

flan
Where did you get the bolded? I don't care enough about you to hate you but we all know your secrets (you just can't help yourself) about your visitations issues with itty bitty.

Seriously? Do you not remember what you just posted?

At the age of four yes. At the age of ten come back and tell me how it goes.

flan

p.s. And you're not a good liar.

Tinydancer · Guru

What does the line you bolded in my post have to do with anything? My meaning was that at ten they have better things to do than play dolls with granny. Please tell me what I was lying about...lol

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Of course it is.

Everyone knows you hate me.

My experience is MINE alone, but you seem determined to hint that my relationship with my granddaughter will fall apart.

flan
Where did you get the bolded? I don't care enough about you to hate you but we all know your secrets (you just can't help yourself) about your visitations issues with itty bitty.
Seriously? Do you not remember what you just posted?
At the age of four yes. At the age of ten come back and tell me how it goes.
flan
p.s. And you're not a good liar.

That is a general statement about all kids and what they like. At age 10, none of them will be as content doing crafts and reading books with Grandma. If you don't believe that, then you are the one that is delusional.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ok. I think the LW is one of those helicopter parents who will be cutting her kids food up when he is 20.

Grandma's house, grandma's rules.

Unless there is actual harm being done, leave it alone.

Geez, she raised your husband, and you must like the way he turned out.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Of course it is.

Everyone knows you hate me.

My experience is MINE alone, but you seem determined to hint that my relationship with my granddaughter will fall apart.

flan
Where did you get the bolded? I don't care enough about you to hate you but we all know your secrets (you just can't help yourself) about your visitations issues with itty bitty.
Seriously? Do you not remember what you just posted?
At the age of four yes. At the age of ten come back and tell me how it goes.
flan
p.s. And you're not a good liar.
That is a general statement about all kids and what they like. At age 10, none of them will be as content doing crafts and reading books with Grandma. If you don't believe that, then you are the one that is delusional.

Give me a break. I've worked with kids from 0 - 14+ for 36 years.

Human contact trumps video games, for most kids.

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

There are some rules that I would consider important to enforce - like don't smoke around my kids; don't get drunk in front of my kids; don't give them diet soda. But screen time? Meh.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Of course it is.

Everyone knows you hate me.

My experience is MINE alone, but you seem determined to hint that my relationship with my granddaughter will fall apart.

flan
Where did you get the bolded? I don't care enough about you to hate you but we all know your secrets (you just can't help yourself) about your visitations issues with itty bitty.
Seriously? Do you not remember what you just posted?
At the age of four yes. At the age of ten come back and tell me how it goes.
flan
p.s. And you're not a good liar.
That is a general statement about all kids and what they like. At age 10, none of them will be as content doing crafts and reading books with Grandma. If you don't believe that, then you are the one that is delusional.
Give me a break. I've worked with kids from 0 - 14+ for 36 years.
Human contact trumps video games, for most kids.
flan

Past tense being the key. The world has changed, and kids like their electronics.

Tinydancer · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Of course it is.

Everyone knows you hate me.

My experience is MINE alone, but you seem determined to hint that my relationship with my granddaughter will fall apart.

flan
Where did you get the bolded? I don't care enough about you to hate you but we all know your secrets (you just can't help yourself) about your visitations issues with itty bitty.
Seriously? Do you not remember what you just posted?
At the age of four yes. At the age of ten come back and tell me how it goes.
flan
p.s. And you're not a good liar.
That is a general statement about all kids and what they like. At age 10, none of them will be as content doing crafts and reading books with Grandma. If you don't believe that, then you are the one that is delusional.
Give me a break. I've worked with kids from 0 - 14+ for 36 years.
Human contact trumps video games, for most kids.
flan

It's not what YOU will want to do when they're ten, it's what THEY will want to do. Unless of course you mean to force them to do what YOU want.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

It's actually what WE want to do.

flan

Tinydancer · Guru

She's not ten yet so you have no idea what she will want to do.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Of course it is.

Everyone knows you hate me.

My experience is MINE alone, but you seem determined to hint that my relationship with my granddaughter will fall apart.

flan
Where did you get the bolded? I don't care enough about you to hate you but we all know your secrets (you just can't help yourself) about your visitations issues with itty bitty.
Seriously? Do you not remember what you just posted?
At the age of four yes. At the age of ten come back and tell me how it goes.
flan
p.s. And you're not a good liar.
That is a general statement about all kids and what they like. At age 10, none of them will be as content doing crafts and reading books with Grandma. If you don't believe that, then you are the one that is delusional.
Give me a break. I've worked with kids from 0 - 14+ for 36 years.
Human contact trumps video games, for most kids.
flan
Past tense being the key. The world has changed, and kids like their electronics.

Oh, I didn't realize the world had changed...how condescending.

Itty bitty has an I-pad. It held her interest at first, but she prefers people to electronics.

flan

Tinydancer · Guru

So you are an expert on what children want to do?...lol

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

...lol

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Let's see...I have worked with children for 36 years, but I know zilch. Zip. Nada.

flan

Cheerios4606 · Guru

ya know, I am probably alone here but I kinda agree with Abby. I think there really should be a conversation with Grandma to let her know that we really do prefer to keep the screen time to a minimum, however I wouldnt push it or demand in any way. Again, I think I would just have a conversation.

But still... grandma and grandpa should be allowed to spoil the kids.

Tinydancer · Guru

You've never worked with my grandkids or millions of others yet you know they would all rather hang out with granny than to play on their electronics? You think awfly highly of yourself...

Tinydancer · Guru

Cheerios4606 wrote:
ya know, I am probably alone here but I kinda agree with Abby. I think there really should be a conversation with Grandma to let her know that we really do prefer to keep the screen time to a minimum, however I wouldnt push it or demand in any way. Again, I think I would just have a conversation.

But still... grandma and grandpa should be allowed to spoil the kids.

If it was something dangerous or would hurt them then you don't even need mom to tell you. There are lot's of things my grandkids can do at my house that's not allowed at home. I spoil them just like my mother spoiled her and my grandmother spoiled me.

Cheerios4606 · Guru

The topic doesnt hint at anything dangerous, so my humble opinion isnt including that aspect.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Tinydancer wrote:
You've never worked with my grandkids or millions of others yet you know they would all rather hang out with granny than to play on their electronics? You think awfly highly of yourself...

Did I say "ALL?"

Nope.

I do think AWFULLY highly of myself. I am good at what I do.

flan

Tinydancer · Guru

I think they must have had a conversation about it. How would she expect the Grandma to follow the rule if she never told her.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

If you don't like what grandma does, then limit the time you send your kid over there for free babysitting.

Tinydancer · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
You've never worked with my grandkids or millions of others yet you know they would all rather hang out with granny than to play on their electronics? You think awfly highly of yourself...
Did I say "ALL?"
Nope.
I do think AWFULLY highly of myself. I am good at what I do.
flan

This was about kids in general, not just your interactions with itty bitty. As far as all those kids you've worked with for years does that mean your their Grandma too and you know how they'd react when staying at your house?

Tinydancer · Guru

I won't even get into how GOOD you are at what you do...

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

What's on the screen? Is the 5 year old watching 50 shades or little bear?

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

And you know, grandma may need the down time.

How old is grandma?

Cheerios4606 · Guru

hahahah!!! so true! Grandma is pooped and needs a break sometimes! HAHAHA!

Lindley · Guru

Everything in moderation. I like the noise so yes my t.v. is on. My grandbaby is just to busy to watch t.v. unless peppa pig is on.

My dil likes for him to eat healthy so I only sneak him Ritz crackers. My dil knows this.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lindley wrote:
Everything in moderation. I like the noise so yes my t.v. is on. My grandbaby is just to busy to watch t.v. unless peppa pig is on.

My dil likes for him to eat healthy so I only sneak him Ritz crackers. My dil knows this.

Peppa Pig!

He has good taste.

flan

Lindley · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Lindley wrote:
Everything in moderation. I like the noise so yes my t.v. is on. My grandbaby is just to busy to watch t.v. unless peppa pig is on.

My dil likes for him to eat healthy so I only sneak him Ritz crackers. My dil knows this.
Peppa Pig!
He has good taste.
flan

Grandson , little granddaughter and great nephew all three loves peppa pig.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I remember my granny letting me eat a stick of butter, real butter they had made.

Mom never would have let me do that.

Granted, I didn't get it all eaten, probably about 2 tablespoons cause it was just too much.

But I remember that, I always will.